Tag Archives: bush tax cuts

  Why do Democrats hate poors?

Sad Ted Cruz Wonders Why Obama Hates Poor People So Much

just lyin' with my mouth
Republicans are On Message, you guys, with their 2016 talking points. They are being very disciplined lately when they say lies with their mouths about the economy, maybe Politics USA is right that the nice people at the secret Koch meeting helped them figure out what to say, all together? Read more on Sad Ted Cruz Wonders Why Obama Hates Poor People So Much…
  the end of america

Obama Introduces Tax Proposal To Kill All Rich People (For One Year)

President McMuslimbot took to the podium today to introduce his new tax proposal that’s he’s had for about 10 years: extending (for one year) the “middle-class” tax cuts on all but the top two marginal income tax brackets, meaning each dollar of income above $250,000 would be taxed at rates last seen during the oppressive Bill Clinton administration. This is the greatest blow to American liberty since John Roberts & Co. destroyed all American liberty permanently by upholding the constitutionality of a $695 tax penalty two weeks ago. Read more on Obama Introduces Tax Proposal To Kill All Rich People (For One Year)…
  on the schedule

Congress To Finish Destroying Country During Lame Duck Session

Yeah, we were there for “LAME DUCK ’10.” Time of our lives, man, time of our lives. The gays got their military, the U.S. and Russia decided not to nuke each other for another few years, some nutrition or FDA dongle was passed — it was a lot of congressional activity! (Also too, there was that gross tax cut deal, but nevermind that.) What mediocre mixture will we get out of this year’s lame-duck session? How about long overdue ANNIHILATION OF THE REPUBLIC! Because they’re planning on doing the Bush tax cuts and the debt ceiling, then. And let’s not forget some solution to the previous debt ceiling deal’s major cuts to everything, forever, that are already in the pipeline lest a compromise can be found. Can Congress please just admit that it’s not capable of solving all (or any) of this in the lame duck and hand it off to Hitler already, like the Germans did in the 30s? At least that guy could make decisions. Read more on Congress To Finish Destroying Country During Lame Duck Session…
  change we can give up hope for

Tax-Cut Thing Passes House Easily, Sent To President Bush For Signature

With a greater majority than passed the Bush tax cuts the first time, the United States House of Representatives passed the Obama-Republican tax-cut thing early this morning, 277 to 148. Across this great country the wealthy smiled, went into their children’s bedrooms, watched them sleeping there peacefully in their beds of cocaine, and decided to add a few million to the trust fund in the morning. Across this great country the unemployed briefly looked up, stopped circling job openings with a ball-point pen on their computer screens, and promised to themselves right then and there that they would be appreciative for about five minutes; but still whole-heartedly believe the Republican candidate in 2012 when she tells them Obama has raised, and wants to raise, their taxes. Across this great country young people watching the events unfold went outside into the cold and cried and hugged each other, because change was finally here; finally, the Bush years were back. Read more on Tax-Cut Thing Passes House Easily, Sent To President Bush For Signature…
  still a young presidency

Rep. DeFazio: Emo Obama Says Not Passing Tax Deal Could End Presidency

Emo Obama is back, according to Obama-Republican tax-cut opponent Peter DeFazio, who said last night that the president is “making phone calls saying this is the end of his presidency if he doesn’t get” his deal passed. Oh, is that it? One thing doesn’t go his way, and suddenly the whole world has conspired against him and his feelings and completely ruined being president for him? DeFazio thinks the passing of this tax-cut thing actually will ruin Obama’s chances for re-election. How nice of him to look out for the young man! But he should be careful, because Obama will just quit if this doesn’t pass, because what is even the point of living if this particular package of tax cuts and economic adjustments doesn’t pass? And then the presidency will be handed to that annoying kid who thinks he’s everybody’s friend, Joe Biden. Read more on Rep. DeFazio: Emo Obama Says Not Passing Tax Deal Could End Presidency…
  yay! no more taxes for anyone!

Tax-Cut Thing Passes Senate, Moves On To China For Approval

After much talking, balking, and sulking, the Obama-Republican tax-cut package has passed Senate cloture by a vote of 69 to 10. So it looks like everything in the next two years will be passed by a refreshing, broad consensus, and all it takes is Democrats pretty much giving up all their ground on each issue. It is truly a new era, all thanks to Republicans whining until they got what they wanted and many buckets full of tears shed by John Boehner in the process. Since this is passing the Senate, the Western world’s most retarded legislature, it will certainly be passed by the House and president, who are more reasonable. And then the legislation will be sent to China for approval or denial of the hundreds of billions of dollars in relatively non-stimulative tax cuts this thing is costing the government. We should send a bucket of fried chicken with it! The Chinese love KFC! Read more on Tax-Cut Thing Passes Senate, Moves On To China For Approval…
  dogs hate cats

Most Americans Back Tax-Cut Deal Most Americans Hate

Most Americans think tax cuts for the rich should not expire, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll. But also, according to a poll, one cited often by Democrats in the tax cut debate, most Americans think tax cuts for the rich should expire. So there you have it! Americans have no idea what is going on; they only respond to the questions they are asked by some pollster when they are trying to pour a Wendy’s Frosty onto their microwave meatloaf family dinner, and those responses still have to be framed in some way to make a story. Somehow, only 11 percent of those polled in this Washington Post-ABC News deal agree with all four of “the deal’s primary tax provisions.” Yet 69 percent of Americans are said to “support” the plan. They have stood their ground, as Dana Milbank would say. Read more on Most Americans Back Tax-Cut Deal Most Americans Hate…
  destroy the alamo!

Obama ‘Stood His Ground’ With Tax Deal, Says Dana Milbank

Hey! Obama finally did it, you guys! He has won over the key Dana Milbank constituency: “For the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of President Obama.” Sure, Dana Milbank was proud of Barack Obama when he was a child, but never as an adult. What could have prompted this important event in the adult lifetime of this important humor columnist? It is that Obama finally stood up for himself and his beliefs with his Republican plan to extend the Bush tax cuts, a truly inspiring moment in history for Washington Post columnists who care deeply about the crap they make up about politics. Read more on Obama ‘Stood His Ground’ With Tax Deal, Says Dana Milbank…
  wondrous american waterways

Crying John Boehner Wants You To Stop Saying He Tans

America’s single greatest achievement, John Boehner, was interviewed on last night’s 60 Minutes, and, thanks to his stage mom standing off camera, yelling at him to cry on cue, he didn’t disappoint. “I’ve never been in a tanning salon in my life, I’ve never used a tanning product in my life,” he said, his tears taking on an orange hue as they flowed down his face. “Burnt Sienna,” not “Peach,” is the natural skin color of white people, you see, despite what seven-year-olds coloring with a box of crayons will tell you. Other things John Boehner that will make this man cry: walking into a school — something he will never do again because of the tears, so our education crisis is now solved — and Barack Obama saying he is a mean hostage man. Read more on Crying John Boehner Wants You To Stop Saying He Tans…
  festivus grievances

Bernie Sanders Going To Speak For All of Time

Bernie Sanders is currently filibustering on the floor of the Senate because he doesn’t like the Obama-Republican tax cut plan. He’s been at it since 10:25 am, according to a C-SPAN graphic, and he will soon be jumping in and out of wormholes so his voice can be heard everywhere and through all of time. Right now he is talking about educating children on Amtrak trains or something. We missed the part where he said, “My arthritis proves Obama is morally weak.” [C-SPAN] Read more on Bernie Sanders Going To Speak For All of Time…
  growing up

House Democrats Vote Against Republican-Obama Tax Plan

The House Democratic Caucus voted, in a “virtually unanimous” fashion, against President Obama’s compromise tax deal in a closed-door meeting today, despite the plan being made by and for Republicans. Seriously, what is with House Democrats these days? Did they become the smoke monster? And what if the White House continues to pretend their compromise is perfect, the entire cast of Full House endorses it, and it should never be changed? The Senate seems like they may accept it. But Rep. Peter DeFazio, who sponsored this resolution, says otherwise: “Well, they’re not going to get a bill if they don’t.” Read more on House Democrats Vote Against Republican-Obama Tax Plan…
  shitalysis

Idiot Fox Reporter: Obama Showed Terrorists He Would Negotiate With Them

So here is a nonpartisan Fox reporter telling Bill O’Reilly that terrorists loved watching what Obama said in his press conference yesterday, and voice of reason Bill O’Reilly telling this man he is an idiot if he believes that. The world is so upside down. Maybe Bill O’Reilly feels a sense of duty to protect the new Republican president? [Media Matters] Read more on Idiot Fox Reporter: Obama Showed Terrorists He Would Negotiate With Them…
  history tweets

Everyone Drop Everything, Robert Gibbs Just Dropped a Tax-Cut Bomb On Twitter

A departing governor about to enter the political wilderness / looking for a job with the administration soon supports the tax-cut compromise? GAME, SET, AND MATCH. This is incredible news. Democrats in Congress are peeing themselves because they are powerless to stop the overwhelming legislative might of Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm. Peeing blood, that is. [Twitter] Read more on Everyone Drop Everything, Robert Gibbs Just Dropped a Tax-Cut Bomb On Twitter…
  change is change except when it isn't

Barack Obama Is Mad At You, Non-Normal Americans

Barack Obama has heard that people on the left don’t like his compromise on tax cuts. Tough. You know what he has to deal with? He says the Republicans took the American public hostage. Have you ever had to deal with hostage takers? No you haven’t. They are not normal. You know who else isn’t normal? Democratic ideologues. This guy can’t stand them — as you can see from him blowing off pent-up steam about the health care debate — and he’s not working with them anymore. It’s just going to be him and the American public hiding in an undisclosed location for the next couple of years. He will protect them in his arms. You ideological freaks can die for all he cares. Read more on Barack Obama Is Mad At You, Non-Normal Americans…
  bidenmatic

Biden Sent To Congress To Get Democrats To Give Up On Tax Cut Plan

Democrats are a little upset that Obama hung out with Congress’ Republican leadership and came back with one of their matching “Tax Cuts Forever”-scripted leather jackets, so they’re not sure they will go along with his breathtaking cave (ooh! pretty stalactites!) on the issue. But Obama is very determined for his party in the legislature to give up their plan and take the Republican position, so he’s sent Joe Biden to the Hill to smooth things over. We have no idea how Biden got the part, because it’s a role that seems better suited to Steve Buscemi, but he will probably be successful, in spite of himself. If there’s one thing Democrats can agree on, it’s surrendering to opposition. Read more on Biden Sent To Congress To Get Democrats To Give Up On Tax Cut Plan…
  date rape

So This Is What Compromise Looks Like

The deal is done. Barack Obama decided to compromise. So, once again, Republicans get what they want, and can pretend they are mildly unhappy with it. All of their dumb old tax cuts, extended two years. They even got a cut in the estate tax. According to Obama, it was more important to save the middle class from slightly higher taxes for a bit and secure more aid to the unemployed than to make the Republican Party actually stand up and suffer for their positions. Barack Obama has just endorsed the domestic policy of George W. Bush in one area. And if his decision is to set aside his policy positions in favor of a smoother-running country, Republicans can expect a whole lot more of their agenda to be passed by the White House the next couple of years. Ronald Reagan has such a huge heaven boner right now. Read more on So This Is What Compromise Looks Like…
  stuck on congress island

Dumb Tax-Cut ‘Compromise’ About To Happen, Annoying Democrats

Your editor thinks it was adorable when young Riley Waggaman said this morning that “Democrats win” on this whole tax cut thing, because c’mon, Riley, even Democrats themselves don’t think that. You are Thinking Progress too much. According to Dick Durbin, Nancy Pelosi, and “many other House and Senate Democrats,” that strange, menacing smoke monster that makes them do things they don’t want to do is floating around being VAGUELY THREATENING again, so now they have to make a deal on tax cuts they don’t want to make. “In return, Republicans said they would probably agree to extend jobless aid for the long-term unemployed.” They’re letting Democrats kill off a valid “Republicans hate the unemployed” talking point. How nice of them. Read more on Dumb Tax-Cut ‘Compromise’ About To Happen, Annoying Democrats…
  potty humor

John Boehner On GOP Not Getting Their Way On Tax Cuts: ‘Chicken Crap’

John Boehner is very upset that the Democratic Party is trying to use their majorities in Congress and their presidency to pass a bill that is actually consistent with what they told the voters was their philosophy when they elected them. “I’m trying to catch my breath so I don’t refer to this maneuver that’s going on today as chicken crap, all right? But this is nonsense!” Boehner, a character in a G-rated animated children’s movie, yelped today. Republicans are very upset that Democrats are not allowing them to compromise, as they thought they would. “Compromise,” as we all know, is an English word that means “give the Republicans exactly what they want.” Read more on John Boehner On GOP Not Getting Their Way On Tax Cuts: ‘Chicken Crap’…
  bs-side economics

Senate GOP Not Going To Let Anything Pass Until Rich-People Tax Cuts Pass

If there’s one thing Republicans love, it’s diversity: diversity of ways to obstruct legislation. A letter was sent to Harry Reid this morning and signed by all 42 Senate Republicans letting him know that he won’t be able to pass any legislation until he lets them extend the Bush tax cuts for really rich people. This is the only thing that matters to them, and will probably be the only thing they are willing to pass in the next couple of years, because they have a cool strategy that makes politics easy for them and makes sure they don’t have to work too hard. Oh, “economy,” “jobs.” Now that they said those two words, can they have their tax cuts? Read more on Senate GOP Not Going To Let Anything Pass Until Rich-People Tax Cuts Pass…
  raisons d'etre

Hey Hey! Democrats Now Actually Going To Try To Pass Stuff!

In the past week or two, we have brought you some exciting, fun stories about how Democrats were probably going to cave on the Bush tax cuts and probably going to cave on repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” But somehow it has finally started to get through to Democrats that, despite what the Republicans do, passing laws is the point of their job, so they’re going to give it their all in these final weeks of the year to try to actually pass these things the way they want them passed. And who is the senator with backbone leading the charge on one of these important pieces of legislation? Joe Lieberman. WHAT IS HAPPENING? THIS DOESN’T SOUND LIKE OUR CONGRESS. Read more on Hey Hey! Democrats Now Actually Going To Try To Pass Stuff!…
  stuff is hard

White House Undecided On Whether To Let Republicans Walk All Over Them

Democrats in Congress were too afraid even to try to pass an extension of the Bush tax cuts for the middle class before the election, because Republicans saying anything at all about Democrats and taxes is very scary! Of course, Republicans still used this anyway, because they have no problem turning anything and everything into “Those guys have raised and will in the future raise your taxes.” But what about the White House? This whole tax cut thing will set the course for their next two years of working with Congress. Well, David Axelrod sat down for a long interview with the Huffington Post last night for no apparent reason, and he said they would probably give in to the Republicans on this. The White House tried to take back Axelrod’s statement this morning, but that’s like swishing an open flesh wound in the water next to an alligator and then kindly asking him to forget about it. Read more on White House Undecided On Whether To Let Republicans Walk All Over Them…
  blue balls

Glenn Beck’s Fanzine Criticizes Obama For Stealing Glenn’s Chalkboard

America needs blue balls, not red balls, according to this new video the White House put up today featuring new Obama economic bro Austan Goolsbee. According to their blog, this whiteboard video approach is something they’re going to do from now on, because Americans are dumb and visual aids are the only thing they can understand. The Blaze, which is basically just an Internet treehouse of children who tell stories about how cool Glenn Beck is, saw this and decided this was STOLED from Glenn Beck, who uses a chalkboard, which is a similar kind of board. Read more on Glenn Beck’s Fanzine Criticizes Obama For Stealing Glenn’s Chalkboard…