If you’ve wondered what the Washington Times might be doing for the next eight years, these selections from the oddball paper’s online store suggest the Moonie pamphlet will start offering all sorts of other stuff nobody wants, such as this President Bush Commemorative Cigar and W. Commemorative Book — a coffee-table sized shame-box apparently featuring washed-out pictures of Bush Junior grimacing and flinching as his henchmen actually ruined the world. Well hey, whatever it takes to keep our Liz Glover gainfully employed! [Washington Times' Bush Store]

• ‘NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE’: And that’s how a few million people say farewell to the helicopter taking Bush Junior back to prison, by singing this cheap song often heard at sporting stadiums, for Losers. Such cheering! Peggy Noonan, on MSNBC, jabbers about Reagan, as usual, and again notes the dignity and classiness of the black man, the president.

When George W. Bush Junior started that goddamned whining during his Last Press Conference, we wanted to crawl through the television screen and throttle him, right there, while he was still technically president. Tragically, current television technology doesn’t allow this type of full-immersion interactive Wii hate — hurry up, digital teevee! — so we’re still pretty annoyed 12 hours later. Hmm, target for late-night rage, where are you? Ah, Fred Barnes! A comical human dildo, wearing eyeglasses! What kind of ludicrous horseshit could the Weekly Standard executive editor deliver for America, in our Hour of Darkness? George W. Bush was actually a great president, that’s what! MORE »

From yesterday’s Power Lunch of the Living (?) Presidents, here’s an official White House photograph of George H.W. Bush Sr. “41″ and George W. Bush Jr. “43″ protecting the elitist patriot Barack Obama from these two scary old white-headed Democrats. Notice which two dudes aren’t wearing flag pins. [White House]

So we were looking for this picture, again, and decided to google “George Bush Confused” and sure enough there’s like 2 million search results so we will pretty much click any YouTube link for anything and now we have this weird, kind of embarrassing moment from the 2004 campaign, maybe? Assuming he ever leaves the White House, we may one day look back in a sort of nostalgic fury and say, “Oh my fucking god do you remember when the president was an actual retard?”

Confused George Bush [YouTube]

Making a “suitcase full of money” stop in the United Arab Emirates today, Bush 41 put an end to those Father Knows Best rumors by reminding everyone he’s still a creepy old man. During a Q&A after some “leadership conference,” the business-friendly Arabs who consider the elder Bush a hero still gave him a bunch of crap about his son’s Iraq debacle. Even the gals called Junior a dangerous twit.

Bush, 82, appeared stunned as others in the audience whooped and whistled in approval. A college student told Bush his belief that U.S. wars were aimed at opening markets for American companies and said globalization was contrived for America’s benefit at the expense of the rest of the world. Bush was having none of it.

“I think that’s weird and it’s nuts,” Bush said. “To suggest that everything we do is because we’re hungry for money, I think that’s crazy. I think you need to go back to school.”

So what about Iraq, anyway? Will Baker and 41 really fix that mess? Time to get your hopes down again. Says Senior of Junior: “He’s not going to change his view because some poll says this or some poll says that, or some heartfelt comments from the lady who feels deeply in her heart about something. You can’t be president of the United States and conduct yourself if you’re going to cut and run. This is going to work out in Iraq.” MORE »