Wonkette

The death toll in Burma could hit a million people, the worst earthquake to strike China in 58 years has already killed at least 9,000, more than 70 tornadoes killed more than 20 people from the midwest to the southeast, and NASA will make a terrible announcement on Wednesday about something horrific they’ve been nervously hunting for 50 years. MORE »

Oh no! Condi’s stuck on repeat! Or maybe shuffle! She went places, she met people… but it all seems so familiar, like she’s just coasting for the next eight months or something. I don’t know about you, but there are some Condi reruns I’d much rather see, so let’s use the magical, revelatory power of Photoshop to pump up the Condiweek that was… after the jump, natch!

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McCAIN CAMPAIGN DUMPS DOUG GOODYEAR: “The PR executive John McCain just tapped to help run the GOP convention quit today after a report that his firm once represented the Burmese junta that is now doing little to relieve its people from the devastation incurred by this week’s cyclone.” [Politico]

For some reason, Laura Bush decided to be president today and gave a press conference attacking the Burmese government for the way it handled the cyclone that has killed upwards of 10,000 citizens. Laura Bush said, “Although they were aware of the threat, Burma’s state-run media failed to issue a timely warning to citizens in the storm’s path.” How would the Bush administration have handled a large natural disaster, however? MORE »

Did you know all Iowans aren’t inbred racist corn-fucking Jesusy retards? Oh? Well until Barack Obama dismissed this popular misconception Monday on Nightline, how would any of us Coasties have known? MORE »

For seven long, horrible years, we could at least count on Laura Bush staying out of the way and letting her clever husband and his henchmen destroy the planet. She was like the Mrs. Cleaver of Hell — and America slept just a little better knowing that the various Bush family members knew their place, if nothing else. We wouldn’t wake up to learn Laura hadn’t bombed Iran or flooded New Orleans. But in the awful twilight of the Bush Administration, it appears our First Lady of Oppression is no longer content to load up on Xanax and smile creepily through the president’s speeches. Meet the new, activist first lady. MORE »

What does a lame-ass-duck administration do when basically nobody in the entire world listens to anything it says because every Senior Administration Official is either a worn-out loser or a hapless placeholder? Get Laura Bush to freak out on the Burma military dictatorship, that’s what! MORE »

Turns out the dashing young CNN star and former host of “The Mole” had a very interesting summer job during his Yale years.

Anderson Cooper worked for the CIA.

Following his sophomore and junior years at Yale — a well-known recruiting ground for the CIA — Cooper spent his summers interning at the agency’s monolithic headquarters in Langley, Virginia, in a program for students interested in intelligence work. His involvement with the agency ended there, and he chose not to pursue a job with the agency after graduation, according to a CNN spokeswoman, who confirmed details of Cooper’s CIA involvement to Radar.

Well, isn’t that special?

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Seriously, shouldn’t the Democratic Response have been Governor Kaine just saying, “WTF, Mr. President?”