Tag Archives: burglary

  Floridugh

Florida Jerks Super Excited Their Neighbor Shot A Kid, Saved A TV

Eff you, Florida
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before. Gun-toting Real American Hero Florida Man is just minding his own business and patrolling his charming suburban subdivision, packing heat as one does in Florida, when he sees a dangerous teenager, and, by the power vested in him by his volunteer neighborhood watch group, goes after the teenager, and then shoots the teenager in self-defense. And it’s perfectly legal, because Florida. The difference, this time, is that (a) the shooter isn’t George Zimmerman, and (b) the kid isn’t dead: Read more on Florida Jerks Super Excited Their Neighbor Shot A Kid, Saved A TV…
  Shoplifts Shoots And Leaves

Boise Burglary Suspect Is One Sad Panda

Photo courtesy Hundred Acre Wood P.D.
Sometimes you just need to get out the ol’ rainbow-puking gnome, and today is one of those days, because today, Tuesday, December Second, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand Fourteen, we learned that an 18-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting by Boise Police late last night, and her name, we shit you not, is Amanda Miranda Panda. Read more on Boise Burglary Suspect Is One Sad Panda…
  we all shine on

Karma Burgles Car Robber-Arsonist-Congressman’s Darrell Issa’s House

Hey, did you know that Congressman Darrell Issa invented your neighbor’s car alarm, the one that goes off for hours at a time, because your neighbor is a fucking asshole? Congressman Darrell Issa got the idea for a car alarm after a satisfying career as a car robber and arsonist. He made hundreds of millions of dollars. You know what they say: create a need, and then fill it! But now someone has burgled Darrell Issa’s ill-gotten mansion of over one hundred thousand dollars in precious jewels. That someone is Karma, and she probably looks really pretty right now! Read more on Karma Burgles Car Robber-Arsonist-Congressman’s Darrell Issa’s House…