• A religious pilgrimage to the sacred “stone dildos” of Freiberg. Starring Matt Yglesias. Rated E for Everyone. [Matt Yglesias]
• Donald Rumsfeld does not care for the ‘Wiki-wakka.’ [Think Progress]
• First Obama was a member of the secretive Muslin Templar. Then he converted to Socialism. Then Ernst Röhm invited him to join the Sturmabteilung. And now Barack Obama is the Burger King. How does Obama find time for so many extra-curricular activities? [RedState]
• Barack Obama Stole My Golf Ball. Obama fan fiction, by Roy Blunt. [Huffington Post]
• Jonah Goldberg made a mixtape, just for you. [The Corner]

• Jonah Goldberg, the fellow who harnessed the powers of alchemy to transmutate his vomit into a New York Times best-seller, is — surprise surprise — a flaming Trekkie. [The Corner]
• Nazi sympathizer Barack Obama wants to visit Dresden, the capital of East Germany. Fine. But he better not say anything about that time we melted Dresden with giant fireballs from the sky, because we’re not sorry and we’d, like, totally do it again. [Power Line]
• Some lady on the Internet has concluded, “Aspirations for a career, independence, and individuality are in competition with a female’s deep and permanent biological makeup.” The National Organization for Women now will present Congress with a revised Equal Rights Amendment protecting every young wife’s biological right to a Valium prescription. [Right Wing News]
• A certain Burger King in Tennessee knows a thing or two about Global Warming: namely that it is a sack of crap conjured up by the Elders of Zion. [AMERICAblog]
• Speaking at the National Press Club, Bullshitter Dick Cheney opened with an aggressive 9/11 Gambit, at which point black should have played the Logic Defense. Acutely aware of his tactically superior position, Cheney was able to move his pawn up to the eighth rank, where he exchanged it for “THE IRAQ WAR SAVED LIVES.” Checkmate. 1-0. [Think Progress]

* The Wall Street Journal knows that raising the minimum wage is unnecessary as long as the great wealth producing engine that is Burger King keeps humming along. [Sadly, No!]
* Justice Department argues that children must have access to online breasts. [Slashdot]
* Barack Obama’s having a hard time walking around, what with Mike Huckabee swinging from his nuts and all. [Political Insider]
* Malkin embarks on her blond admonition tour. [Michelle Malkin]
* Walnuts McCain uses Jedi mind tricks on Silvestre Reyes: “You want to increase the number of troops in Iraq, you want to tell the media John McCain is the no-nonsense maverick who gave you this idea.” [Political Animal]
* Being investigated by the FBI is no bar to Congressional leadership positions, as long as you’re white. [TPM Muckraker]

* Reliable Source: Laura and Barbara Bush travel to Rome to visit with the Pope and Silvio Berlusconi before attending the Olympics; Jenna is staying home to teach. . . Maryland Gov. Robert Ehrlich booed at basketball game. . . Reese Witherspoon stops by Burger King near the White House. [WP]
* Under the Dome: Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) is popular among “jocks-turned-GOP pols”. . . Tony Blair blames troubles on “The West Wing.” [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: King Abdullah II “likes to walk around” the Georgetown Safeway. [WT]
* Rush & Molloy: McCain flack complains director of “Why We Fight” documentary “intentionally twisted” the senator’s quotes about Cheney. . . McCain and Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) lunch and laugh with Richard Gere. [NYDN]
* Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Bill Weld lunches with John Ashcroft. . . Nora Ephron: “[Chris Matthews] is a perfect example - although obviously exaggerated - of what happens to men in the presence of Senator McCain. They lose their minds. They suck up. They turn absolutely giddy. They ask questions they don’t care about the answers to. It’s Valentine’s Day.” [NYDN]