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Tag: bullshit

Sit on it and spin, you orange baboon.

Donald Trump Loves The Gays So Much He Wants Them To Go Outside On This Nice Day

We sent Major Major Major Major to the Donald Trump Howler Monkey Circus stop in Atlanta! Word poop was flung!
Flim and Flam Flem want their outfits back

Pretend Smart Person Ben Stein Thinks Donald Trump’s A Moron, Endorses Donald Trump

Goddamn Ben Stein let words dribble out of his goddamn mouth hole again, and the Guardian inexplicably wrote them down and printed them.
This copy of the Constitution came in a box of cereal

Cliven Bundy Lawsuit Against Obama Demands $50 Million, Get Out Of Jail Free Card, And A Pony

Cliven Bundy has filed a massively stupid lawsuit against President Obama, Sen. Harry Reid, and the federal judge in his criminal case. It's good for some laughs if nothing else.
Stop clicking. That's not really an option. No, really, stop clicking on that.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: ‘Wi-Fi Suicide’ Would Make a Great Band Name

Salutations, readers! We got us a big ole newsdump shipped in from out east past the Mississippi. Let's not mince any words jibber-jabberin' because we got us a psychic time traveler back for another story! Yee-haw! Even MORE Details Emerge...
People with disabilities should just knock it off and stop faking

Sen. Tom Cotton Knows ‘Disabled’ Fakers Spending Your Tax Moneys On Drugs

Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton returned to one of the Great Republican Myths the other day, suggesting the Social Security Disability program is not merely full of fakes and cheaters, but might actually cause economic decline and drug abuse. In...
Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius. Carly 2016!

Carly Fiorina’s Medieval History Degree Will Help Her Beat ISIS, Crush Albigensian Heresy

Carly Fiorina took a break from her heavy schedule of lying, lying, lying, and more lying to engage in some plain old stupid bullshit for a change. She recently explained to a New Hampshire audience that her bachelor's degree in medieval history and philosophy...
Funny strange, not funny ha ha

Rand Paul Says Hard Work And Tax Cuts Will Make Everyone Rich, Especially The Rich

On "Fox News Sunday" (on Fox News, Sunday), Rand Paul offered some inspiring thoughts on how the economy really works, based purely on the theories of Ayn Rand plus multiple massive bong hits: Tax rates have nothing to do...
Thank god these Nazi analogies will go away when the next president is inaugurated.

Mike Huckabee: Obama’s Actually Holocausting Jews For A Change

Are we all tired of Obama-is-Hitler analogies? Well of course we are! But Mike Huckabee isn't, because he found a really novel variation on the theme: Instead of Obama being just like a Nazi by forcing Americans to have...
hooray

Idiot Texas County Clerk Lady Issues Declaration About How Good She Hates The Gays

Thank goodness brave Texas bigots haven't been shuttled off to the rainbow FEMA camps, so they can save the Republic from the santorum-drenched sodomite hordes. Molly Criner, county clerk for Irion County, issued a DECLARATION OF OBEDIENCE TO LAW AND...
Really. What the actual fuck?

Giant Pussies At LSU Fire Professor For Saying Bad, Bad Words

For your "You have got to be fucking kidding me" files, we present the story of Louisiana State University associate professor Teresa Buchanan, who was fired effective June 19 for having "sexually harassed" her students -- if, that is,...
Too old for this shit.

The Snake Oil Bulletin Sifts Through The Pseudoscientific Dingleberries Of Dr. Mehmet Oz

Welcome back, pilgrims! It's good to see you've returned to your old friend the Snake Oil Bulletin, the weekly compendium of the latest horsepuckey to plop itself right here on our beloved interwebs. Now normally we focus on a smattering...
McMorris Rodgers' original graph, which proves that all Obamacares lead down a jagged path to cupcakes.

Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers Declares Victory Over Obamacare Fans, Goes Home

Last week, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Washington) decided it might be a neat idea to stop playing Farmville for a second and update her FacePlace status, with that dumb looking graph above, just asking hey, everyone, how did Obamacare...
All the tax rates float down here

All Teabagging And No Brain Makes Maine Governor LePage A Dull Boy

Among things you should never do: 1) Vandalize a beautiful but haunted 1958 Plymouth Fury 2) Experiment with reanimating the dead; 3) Dump pig blood on Carrie White at the prom; 4) Suggest that unabashed progressive Stephen King would...
We're never getting tired of this image.

Mike Huckabee Has One Weird Trick To Cure Diabetes (It Is ‘Money From Hucksters’)

Like Ben Carson, Mike Huckabee is going to tell you a few secrets that Big Pharma doesn't want you to know. No, seriously! That's how he's making money these days, and it's all because he wants to be president and...

The Weekend Stock Photo Report Chooses To Be Gay

In this installment of The Weekend Stock Photo Report with Weekend S. Photo, Benjamin Netanyahu growls sofly and carries a big shtick, The Supreme Court dignifies the undignifiable, and Ben Carson is a doctor, really! Missed last week's report? No...
Wrong Kirk? Whatever.

Even GOP Senators Are Sick Of House Wingnuts’ Bullsh*t

Illinois Senator Mark Kirk has a wee bit of advice to his party, especially those fellows over in the House. After the Senate passed a clean bill to fund the Department of Homeland Security for the rest of the...