The booming town of Buffalo, New York — which finally won its independence last year after suffering decades under of the private ownership and slave economy of Tim Russert — today is holding its Democratic mayoral primary, a.k.a. “the mayoral election.” And the current mayor, Byron Brown, has discovered (at :50) the single most effective last-minute pitch ever: promise all the old people new flat-screen teevees! (AND DON’T FUCK WITH MEDICARE.) [Political Class Dismissed]

Did you know that back in 2002 charming Dr. Strangelove extra Dick Cheney wanted to deploy American troops to Buffalo, New York? Little known outside the nightmares of national security insiders, Buffalo, or “جاموس ” is a remote hellscape in Kashmir ruled by tribal warlords and their thuggish philosopher-king, Vincent Gallo. It was also the home of the “Lackawanna Six,” a group of terrorism suspects who Cheney wanted to arrest in spite of (because of??) the lack of evidence against them. MORE »

While Hillary Clinton remains hidden in a secret Polynesian island bunker, where she drinks single malt scotch and eats artichoke hearts prepared by a cadre of Gypsy slaves all day long, she is still somehow doing her job as a fake Senator. Today she, along with fellow New York Senator Chuck Schumer and some Congressman, introduced an act of legislation to name U.S. Route 20A — in Buffalo — the “Timothy J. Russert Highway.” Because Tim Russert would have done the same thing. MORE »

The bad news for David Smith? US News reports that “Smith, a top Interior Department official” (yawn) has stepped down after a Dances-with-Wolves-overlong fooferaw involving Smith’s 2004 shooting of a buffalo on “a billionaire friend’s ranch.” Read all about it (and much, much more) here. MORE »