bryan fischer
Bryan Fischer: Teh Gheys Can’t Be Scouts Because Scout Oath Says No Weaklings
Sorry, Homosexual America, but Bryan Fischer is thinking about You People again. By golly, it’s almost as if Bryan Fischer can’t think of many things other than gay people. This time, the mouthpiece for the American Patriarchy Association is having kittens over the possibility that the Boy Scouts of America may vote to allow sodomites [...]
Bryan Fischer Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Gays Having All The Gay Sex, Because Gay Sex Is So Gay And Wrong (Also Gay)
Bryan Fischer, Spokesweasel for the American Patriarchy Association and notorious power bottom, has a novel idea about the sudden popularity of all these gay people having rights as if they were actual Americans or something: He thinks that the only reason teh gheys have been making political headway lately is that Americans have not heard [...]
American Family Association Puts End To Travesty Of Children Being Nice To Each Other
What marvelous thing has the American Family Association done for Western civilization now? Oh, just succeeded in getting upwards of 20 elementary schools to drop out of “Mix It Up At Lunch Day,” an annual program that teams up kids who normally wouldn’t sit together at lunch, and makes them sit together at lunch. Does [...]
Phyllis Schlafly And Bryan Fischer Pretty Much Think Todd Akin Is Jesus
Perfidious cockbucket Todd Akin received enthusiastic support Tuesday from noted insane persons Phyllis Schlafly and Bryan Fischer. Remarkably, this is not expected to hurt his chances for election to the US Senate. Reaching previously unplumbed depths of either cluelessness or chicanery — even for her — Ms. Schlafly carefully explained that Akin was not in [...]
Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D.
Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are [...]
Bryan Fischer Shares Jesus’s Plan For The Poor: Hospitals, Turn Them Away
In a plain case of “Blessed are the poor for Bryan Fischer wants them dead,” the radio host and director of issues analysis at the American Family Association recently overshared some characteristically Deep Thoughts on fixing godless heathen Obamacare. The following Guide to A Good Christian’s Healthcare may prove helpful. Hospitals should send the poor [...]
Wingnuts Confused Over How To Be Angry About New DC Comics Gay Superhero
Some horrified wingnuts have been distressed over the announcement that DC Comics will “turn” one of its major legacy superheroes gay in June, and weirdly those wingnuts don’t include vile hate lizard Bryan Fischer. After all, at last someone is recognizing what Bryan Fischer’s many arduous years relentlessly studying gay men taught him long ago: [...]
Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay
The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off [...]
Bryan Fischer: Jesus Had Disciples So They Would Become GOP Politicians
“Jesus’ entire discipleship program with his apostles was an academy designed to prepare them for service in the political arena.” Oh, right, of course, Bryan Fischer. Christianity is really nothing more than one bearded guy’s boutique political consulting/candidate training shop. “I will wash your feet, then you go forth and wash the feet of wealthy [...]
AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Pocahontas Shows What Could Have Been’
Woah woah woah, you guys thought Bryan Fischer hates Native Americans? Why would you ever think that? Would it be from all the columns he’s written about how they’re disgusting drunken savages with no morals who don’t deserve to live in this country? You’re an idiot. You know why? Bryan Fischer likes one (1) whole [...]
Bryan Fischer Finally Says Something Terrible Enough To Have Op-Ed Pulled
American Family Association resident expert/terrible human Bryan Fischer decided last week that it was okay for white people to take America from the Indians because Native Americans are savages. He’s a mercantile-charter strict constructionist, in other words. But apparently the Injuns found his ranch house and put their tomahawks to his scalp, because the preacher [...]
AFA’s Bryan Fischer: Native Americans Have Never Had Morals
The American Family Association’s Chief Being Racist Correspondent Bryan Fischer has already warned us about Barack Obama giving America’s lands back to the Injuns. But did you know it never really belonged to them in the first place, because they didn’t have Christian “morals”? “Time eventually ran out for the Canaanites, because they filled up [...]
When Tim Pawlenty’s Elected President Next Tuesday, He’ll Reinstate DADT
We have no idea why Tim Pawlenty ever was considered a serious candidate for president; these things just happen, we guess. Has Pawlenty ever shouted “YOU LIE” at the current man in the office? No, and that fact should disqualify him. But yesterday, a veritable meeting of the minds occurred: Pawlenty went on insane AFA [...]
AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’
The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer writes about important religious issues, so of course his attention today has turned to the heathen American Indians who were righteously defeated by the kind, ethical, Christian cowboys. American presidents have traditionally been pro-cowboy regarding this epic struggle. But then Barack Obama got elected. “President Obama wants to give [...]
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