Tag Archives: bruce springsteen

  Coming Again To Save The Motherfuckin' Day

A Children’s Treasury Of Sexy Fourth Of July Patriotic Musical Videos

'Merca!
For your America Day enjoyment, we proudly present this retread/update of a 2011 post by “Wonkette Jr,” whose actual identity is lost to time — truly, we are standing on the shoulders of an unknown giant. Since not even YouTube is Forever, we also pruned the dead links and added all-new Patriotic Content! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Sexy Fourth Of July Patriotic Musical Videos…
  Load Up On Guns And Bring Your Friends -- Again

Ted Cruz Loves Good Old Country Music Because 9/11 And Also Pandering

‘John, let’s do a shot for the warden.’ And for the junior Senator from Texas.
Now this is some carefully targeted pandering! In an interview with CBS This Morning, Ted Cruz explained that the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, completely changed his taste in music, apparently because classic rock failed to meet his anger needs: Read more on Ted Cruz Loves Good Old Country Music Because 9/11 And Also Pandering…
  this is why we can't have nice things

Musicians Dishonor Troops, Make The Baby Jesus Bald Eagle Cry

Damn dirty longhairs
Did everyone catch the terrible Concert for Valor to honor our military veterans last night? We say it was terrible because some of the musicians took it upon themselves to dishonor the troops, the flag, the bald eagle, Mom, apple pie, baseball and Michael Bay movies. What was the offense committed by known communists Bruce Springsteen, Dave Grohl and Zac Brown? They covered Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Fortunate Son,” a known “anti-war anthem.” Outrage! A slap in the face! Read more on Musicians Dishonor Troops, Make The Baby Jesus Bald Eagle Cry…
  clipbait

Chris Christie Will Fight Some Dumb Lady About Bruce Springsteen, Boss Of You

Chris Christie, communist who would save New Jersey if he would allow price gouging
Just because New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R-Bridgegate) makes Bruce Springsteen sick to his stomach because Christie stands for everything The Boss stands against is no reason why The Boss doesn’t want Christie pretending they are total besties. Take that, silly lady who thinks otherwise: Read more on Chris Christie Will Fight Some Dumb Lady About Bruce Springsteen, Boss Of You…
  clipbait

Born To Just Sit There Idling: Jimmy Fallon & Bruce Springsteen Team Up For Awesome Bridgeghazi Parody

Chris Christie has lost the Boss, not that he ever really had him. Here for your morning clipbait are Jimmy Fallon and Bruce Springsteen, two broken heroes on a last chance power drive…but mostly just stuck in traffic on the George Washington Bridge. With the lanes out of Fort Lee closed, Wendy had better just not get her hopes up, is what they’re saying: Read more on Born To Just Sit There Idling: Jimmy Fallon & Bruce Springsteen Team Up For Awesome Bridgeghazi Parody…
  UPDATE

Chris Christie Splits the Baby, Eats It

Gov. Christie has returned from the wilderness where he was in communion with The Great Smog God of Turnpike Exit 7-A, and has made his official declaration about how to fill Sen. Lautenberg’s recently vacated Senate seat. Read more on Chris Christie Splits the Baby, Eats It…
  Seriously Though Don't Go Under The Boardwalk

Obama, Christie Tour Sandy-Hit Boardwalk And We Do Not Make Even One Fat Joke About It

It was a scene to make the spirit of John Hughes weep tears of being dead: Chris Christie and Barack Obama, the founding bros of the bromance that has come to define the term, reunited at Bruce Springsteen’s The Jersey Shore — the very place where their first electric, forbidden tryst launched like $20 billion federal bucks at all the shit that got fucked up when God made the weather make Obama be president for four more years. For Christie, at least at first, it was any port in a storm. For Obama, it was probably that, too. But each man saw something in the other to admire: Christie saw a man who shared his passion for talking about budgets. Obama saw a man who, like him, struggled with the issue of whether gays are people. And oh, the wingnuts did howl again, like the winds of that storm we were talking about before. Also, Chris Christie beat a carny. Read more on Obama, Christie Tour Sandy-Hit Boardwalk And We Do Not Make Even One Fat Joke About It…
  lost in the flood

Chris Christie Literally Weeping Over Beauty Of His Forbidden Boss Love

Chris Christie, he of the New Jersey governorship, the tough-talkin’, Romney-snubbin’, bum-fightin’ sonofagun who won’t apologize for a damn thing, thank you, has been ensaddened. He loves Bruce Springsteen, you see. He lurves him. He luffs him. But Springsteen doth not return the affection, for Springsteen is a Liberal, and Christie is not. It’s the early draft of a Chris Marlowe play, it really is. And now, after a simmering feud, a hurricane, and one beautiful, conciliatory phone call, it enters its fifth act. Chris Christie and Bruce Springsteen are friends. Read more on Chris Christie Literally Weeping Over Beauty Of His Forbidden Boss Love…
  not even victoria jackson's ukulele?

Fox & Friends: Why Doesn’t NBC’s Hurricane Sandy Telethon Have More People Who Sneer At People Who Need Help?

Well it is obviously Media Matters Day here on your Wonket, as they are our “idiotic Fox & Friends video” go-to, and Fox & Friends is on somewhat of a tear! Now? They’re just asking! why NBC would give Barack Obama such a wet, tonguey blow job by doing … a Hurricane Sandy benefit? Is that because hurricane relief and disaster management have liberal biases? (Of course it is. And it’s obviously just Not Fair to mention a hurricane right after a hurricane happens, when Barack Obama is good at cleaning up after hurricanes, and Mitt Romney is bad at it.) But it is also because they are putting a whole bunch of rock stars on a stage, right before an election, and they are all liberals, and as Steve Doocy plaintively demanded, “HOW IS NBC GOING TO CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE SAY???” Read more on Fox & Friends: Why Doesn’t NBC’s Hurricane Sandy Telethon Have More People Who Sneer At People Who Need Help?…
  Needz moar nounz

College Newspaper Frowns Upon Springsteenian Merry-Making, For Such Frivolity Is But A Pale Shadow Of Serious Politics

As the great writer Hanna Arendt once said, “Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.” And so it is with great pleasure that we announce that the Iowa State Daily, which we are now officially adopting as Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper, is indeed a keeper of its promises! Let us recap, shall we? At the end of their recent impassioned editorial about boorish knaves defacing the sidewalks of Academe with their impudent political messages, the young fogeys of The Iowa State Daily’s editorial board proclaimed that, in comparison to such flagrant sidewalk-defacery, Showing off celebrities such as actor Justin Long and rock star Bruce Springsteen aren’t [sic] much better, but we can wait to comment on that until tomorrow. Well! Today, which is yesterday’s “tomorrow,” of course, has crept in its petty pace (as the Bard of Avon would say), and did the Iowa State Daily fulfil its solemn vow? Why, yes! Yes it did! If only political candidates of this day and age could be as reliable in following up on the commitments they make to the body politic! Read more on College Newspaper Frowns Upon Springsteenian Merry-Making, For Such Frivolity Is But A Pale Shadow Of Serious Politics…
  because he doesn't like him

Bruce Springsteen Won’t Even Give Superfan Chris Christie a Handsie

Chris Christie has been to 129 Bruce Springsteen shows, dancing, singing along, jiggling, right up there in the front, while the absolute most overrated musician of all time “The Boss” sings his tunes about 9/11 and the farms and stuff. And over the course of these 129 concerts, how many times has Springsteen climbed down to Christie and rubbed him up? Zero times, because Bruce Springsteen is a liberal. Good lord, does this sadden Chris Christie. Read more on Bruce Springsteen Won’t Even Give Superfan Chris Christie a Handsie…
  you talkin' to ME?

Biden & Obama: Will They Ever Agree About Springsteen’s Later Work?

While you were eating the rest of that bag of chips and wondering whether to watch the teevee or stalk your ex on Facebook, Joe Biden and Barack Obama were dressed in evening clothes at the Kennedy Center, arguing the merits of recent work by Kennedy Center honorees Bruce Springsteen and Robert DeNiro. Biden’s opinion? It’s all fucking great. Read more on Biden & Obama: Will They Ever Agree About Springsteen’s Later Work?…
  born to lose

Bruce Springsteen Will Doom Obama’s Campaign, Too

If there’s one thing Democrats can count on, it’s that New Jersey billionaire Bruce “He’s The Boss” Springsteen will play lots of his songs for the presidential candidate, who will then lose the election. That’s why Republicans are so excited about Springsteen playing a couple of songs at Obama’s Acceptance Concert on Thursday. Read more on Bruce Springsteen Will Doom Obama’s Campaign, Too…
 

Oprah Winfrey Too Busy To Campaign With Obama

Just a few months ago, Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey were such great friends that rumors flew about their torrid lesbian affair. But now that Barack needs Oprah to reel in the votes of bitter Indiana housewives, Oprah’s suddenly so busy that, according to one media analyst, “it might be easier to rearrange George Bush’s schedule than Oprah Winfrey’s schedule.” Is Oprah really busier than America’s laziest president, or are more sinister forces at play? Read more on Oprah Winfrey Too Busy To Campaign With Obama…
 

America’s Most Elitist Musician Endorses Obama!

The elitism of Barack Obama has reached new depths. Famous Rock Star Bruce Springsteen, a gay French white wine-sipper, has endorsed Barry on his website, citing Obama’s potential “to lead that project and to lead us into the 21st Century with a renewed sense of moral purpose and of ourselves as Americans.” Blah blah blah, he likes how Hopey is a Communist and that’s all. After the jump, more about Bruce Springsteen’s elitist credentials. Read more on America’s Most Elitist Musician Endorses Obama!…