Tag: broward county

Donald Trump Sad He Can’t Play Fancy Woman Card™, Hypnotize Voters With His Vagina

'I think the only thing she has got going is she’s a woman,' Trump told Matt Lauer on the Today Show.

Florida Patriots Issue Fatwa Against Sheriff For Hiring Muslim Deputy

// So here's a charming story from Florida: a group of anti-Islam wingnuts is attempting to get a Broward County sheriff's deputy fired because he's (gasp!) Muslim. Deputy Nezar Hamze hasn't actually done anything more questionable than practice his...
It's been that kind of day, you know?

Judge Orders Fort Lauderdale To Stop Arresting Kind Old Hippie Who Feeds Homeless, For Godssake

A Florida judge ordered the city of Fort Lauderdale to temporarily stop enforcing a law it passed to harass a 90-year-old WW II vet who has been ruining the city's quality of life by feeding homeless people at the...

Florida Judge Lady Disbarred Just For Boinking The Prosecutor Trying Death Penalty Case Before Her, Unfair!

We know we say this a lot, but seriously, what on earth is wrong with Florida? Specifically, what the hell is wrong with judges in Florida? It's like the entire judiciary is having a particularly weird and virulent nervous...

Florida Man With Private Arsenal Just Wanted To Stand His Ground Against Obama, Own Family

In an isolated incident, a Florida gun nut with a private arsenal has been arrested and charged with trying to hire a hit man to kill members of his family. Jason D. Simione, 39, had also made threats against...

Broward County Once Again Sucks At Life, Finds 963 Ballots In Some Warehouse

We almost went a day without a "stupid Florida" story. Almost. In case you have already forgotten and moved on, there was an election eight days ago, and going into it everybody was quite fixated on a small number of...

Prominent Florida Bigots Unite Against Holidays For Perverted, Evil, Terrorist-Cult Children

Today's lesson in religious tolerance comes to us from Florida, where we are talking about Islam, so, just a heads up, today's lesson is going to be awful. The request was to close Broward County schools for two Muslim holidays,...

We Are Sure These Mysterious Vote Tally Changes In Broward County, Florida, Are No Problem At All

Hey remember the 2000 election, when Florida went to Bush by 538 votes after he got a bunch of rich douchebags to go fake a "riot" outside the Miami-Dade polling headquarters? Well turns out you can avoid all of...