Most Americans, if given five extra dollars of disposable income, will spend it on either a) upgrading their cable subscription or b) prostitutes. But this makes the prostitution industry terribly vulnerable to fluctuations in their patrons’ personal income, which is why one Nevada brothel is looking to expand its offerings. Huzzah, diversification! MORE »

The grand mystery of Eliot Spitzer’s comically hypocritical whoring is what exactly was being discussed when classy hooker “Kristen” was told by her madam that Spitzer “would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe ….” Although we remain hopeful that it was something really weird and dangerous, possibly involving a trapeze and a velvet hovercraft, the consensus seems to be “He didn’t want to wear a condom.” But why are they speaking to each other in such stilted circumlocutions? We could make up a whole list of similarly pointlessly roundabout talk at the super-premium Brothel of Ambiguity. Let’s do it! MORE »