Tag Archives: bros

  And you thought Bud Light couldn't be more disgusting.

People Seem To Think Bud Light Slogan Is Rapey, Just Because It’s Really Rapey

Oh, we get it, it's about date rape-type stuff!
Earth’s most generic light beer, Bud Light, has been doing an ad campaign that they think is oh so hip, lately, to try to get beer-pong playing, dildo-brained college kids to upgrade from Natty Light and drink THEIR piss beer instead. It’s called #UpForWhatever, and there was a big PacMan super bowl commercial, because Bud Light is the beer that, according to advertising execs, makes you “up for whatever.” The labels have said things like “the perfect beer for going without a ticket and still getting into the show,” and “the perfect beer for tuning up the old air guitar,” because these guys are fucking HIP, dude. Oh, and there’s this new label, that’s totally about drinking so much that bitches won’t say no when you try to fuck them, and people don’t like it, huh. Read more on People Seem To Think Bud Light Slogan Is Rapey, Just Because It’s Really Rapey…
  hey everybody! we're all gonna get laid!

Scott Brown Down To Party, Get Elected Senator, Whatever, It’s Cool, Brah

Scott Brown is the bro-iest bro who ever bro-ed his way across multiple states in search of a Senate seat, and Benny Johnson, digital director at National Review whose job description also involves giving verbal handies to Scott Brown, has the scoop. Read more on Scott Brown Down To Party, Get Elected Senator, Whatever, It’s Cool, Brah…
  #RIPpatriarchy

Male ‘Journalist’ Tucker Carlson Sad There Are No Male Journalists Because Jill Abramson Murdered Them All

Since the suspiciously ungracious and despicably cruel firing of Jill Abramson, the first female executive editor of the New York Times — apparently for no reason other than because she was a “pushy” “mercurial” “polarizing” “brusque” beeeyotch who twice hurt an otherwise super chill dude’s feelings so bad he had to punch a wall, but it’s okay now because the Times ding-donged that witch and gave her job to Mr. Chill Dude — there have been many excellent analyses of what happened at the Times. Like what an inspiration she was to the other women who worked at the Times. And how shocking and discouraging it is that she was fired in the way that she was, unlike, say, former editor Howell Raines, who was given a pretty darned nice send off when he was fired. Or how we will never really know whether and how much sexism played a role in how she was treated, perceived, and ultimately fired. There are many excellent points out there, made by excellent people who are very smart and wise. And then there is Tucker Carlson, who is “enjoying the heck out of this story.” Because he is a dick. Read more on Male ‘Journalist’ Tucker Carlson Sad There Are No Male Journalists Because Jill Abramson Murdered Them All…
  silly season

RNC Dude Just Busting Obama Campaign Manager’s Chops, Bro

Dude, working for the RNC is a sweet gig, but July is, like, super boring. Even the money people agree that the jobs report numbers, which ought to be good for some laughs on Barack Hussein, are lame. You gotta keep in the game somehow, though, and Twitter’s a great way to have a little fun when it’s slow at work while helping your guy Romney out. So why not just send Obama’s campaign manager like four or five Tweets a day making fun of his lousy campaign and calling him “bro”? No hard feelings, bro, we’ll go get a beer after the election. Anyway, the important question is: what kind of facial hair does bro-tastic RNC Political Director Rick Wiley have? Find out after the jump! Read more on RNC Dude Just Busting Obama Campaign Manager’s Chops, Bro…
  bring your penis

Conservative Conference Will Feature 100%-Bangin’ Toga Party

Are you all geared up for the upcoming State Policy Network (SPN) Annual Meeting in Asheville, North Carolina? Bro come on! The SPN is a network of wingnut think tanks and organizations throughout the country that helps “advance a free society by providing leadership development, management training and networking opportunities for think tank professionals and by promoting strategic partnerships among market-oriented organizations.” STRATEGY, MARKETS, NETWORKS, TRAINING, LEADERSHIP, MANAGEMENT, CUM, COCKS, DOLLA DOLLA BILLS. If you are that particular flavor of “douche” that specializes in lacking self-awareness, you belong to the SPN! Let’s see what rad parties some of the SPN members will be throwing during their annual meeting… oh look, a Toga Party! Hilarious forwarded invite, below. Read more on Conservative Conference Will Feature 100%-Bangin’ Toga Party…
 

New Fed Governor Loves Dave Matthews, Reports New Republic

We must admit, when we see a piece in The New Republic headlined “Another suspect Bush Appointee,” our eyes tend to glaze over. Were we to see one titled “Good Job with that Appointee There, Mr. President,” we would be more interested (but not much more inclined to actually read the piece), after, of course, checking the date to make sure that it wasn’t a holdover from the days when Bush could do no wrong in their moderate-classical-liberal-whatever eyes. Read more on New Fed Governor Loves Dave Matthews, Reports New Republic…