Jenna Bush, upon being ambushed by Extra at a book party and asked to comment on Britney Spears’ tragic loss of custody of her children: “I’m not part of Hollywood, maybe that’s the lucky thing. I’ve had normal parents, but not that they haven’t. I can’t give any advice.” [ExtraTV]

Well, happy Friday! (If this seems impenetrable, you’ll want to see this. Okay, “want” is not the right word.)

Leave General Petraeus Alone [Phillip Wilburn]

Barry Obama’s Richmond campaign stop has already landed him in hot water for his hilarious joke about how everyone in Kansas was killed by the tornado. Apparently he also hates art and our fundamental constitutional right to see the vaginas of celebrities whenever we want. MORE »

Mean Jean Schmidt and Stranglin’ Don Sherwood aren’t the only pols having trouble at the polls. MORE »

• New Arlington based literary journal. First issue features accomplished poet Donald Rumsfeld’s latest, “You’ve got a situation where it’s not possible to lose.” [Madam Mayo]

• Rentometer will tell you if you’re a sucker, and by how much. [Metroblogging DC]
• “RIP, Christopher Glenn. I might not have remembered you until yesterday, but rest assured you were a fond memory for those of us who shared our carefree childhood Saturday mornings with you.” [High Heels and Football]
• She met Joan Jett last night. [Conversations with Mud]
• And so you’ll have something to talk to your family about, Britney Spears lost 26 pounds in a month. [Read Express]

* Vice President Cheney will receive a warning citation for hunting without the proper stamp on his permit. [The Smoking Gun] MORE »

• Britney Spears’ tech guy applies Hit-Me-One-More-Time app to defeating Roberts, but “I’m not sure how closely Britney has been following this issue.” [NYer] MORE »