Tag: britney spears

Typical.

Secret Muslim Barack Obama’s New House Is Near A Mosque, And The Daily Caller Is ON IT

Maybe Kenyan Muslim Marxist Gay Obama wants to live 1,096 feet from a mosque so he can hop, skip and jump to prayers WITH HIS PEOPLE!

Oh Great, Taylor Swift Is Literally Hitler Now

Some racists on the Internet think so, so you know it is true.

Illuminati Using Britney Spears To Turn Your Daughters Into Prostitutes, Says Reasonable Human

'Reasonable human,' by the way, also hopes Donald Trump becomes president.
Suspect tends to have a visible erection at all times.

Josh Duggar May Be On The Lam From Sex Rehab, Suspect Considered Horny And Gross

UH OH, they've LOST him. So we reported last week that whore-creeper former "family values" advocate Josh Duggar had gone to a "rehab center" in Rockford, Illinois, where he would learn (again) how to Lean In toward Jesus and Lean...
Satan's gang signs -- All the proof you need!

Sundays With The Christianists: Their Satanic Majesties Request … MORE COWBELL!

Rightwing radio preacher and homeschooling guru Kevin Swanson is starting to let us down, folks -- the penultimate chapter of his e-rant about the inevitable doom of western civilization is just about the laziest attack on the supposedly corrupting...

The Society For The Prevention Of Celebrity Divorce Will Prevent Celebrity Divorce With One Weird Trick

We will preface this by saying we have no idea if this is an elaborate joke or the quixotic crusade of one clearly fairly wealthy individual, because we do not care. We are in love with J. Robert Butler,...

Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist

Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, "a new gospel": All of the world's lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at...

CNN ASKS CANTOR ABOUT SILLY BRITNEY SPEARS NONSENSE: Whoa hey this turned out to be some kinda coveted chunk of 2-hour-news-cycle hobo meat, huh? We were just trying to make some sort of exaggerated gay joke about nothing, but...

HER LOSS: LANDRIEU DEFINITELY NOT AT BRITNEY CONCERT: The Huffington Post has run with this "gossip blog"'s reported confirmed life-defining economy-saving news report about Eric Cantor going to see old Britney Spears sing last night, and they have gotten...

Exclusive: Cantor, ‘Democrats’ Attend Britney Spears Concert During Obama Presser

And you all thought Washington wasn't sexy: the office of ambitious young House Republican Whip Eric Cantor has confirmed to your Wonkette that instead of watching President Obama's boring press conference last night like the rest of us dingbats,...

Our Liz Glover Captured, Eaten by Dick Cheney

Here's our own Liz Glover at some Republican event, doing her thing, when SUDDENLY Dick Cheney smelled the blood of someone under 60 years old and wobbled over and killed her and ate her brain/heart just after the police...

McCain-Spears 2008

Hey, it's still Friday, so here's some of that "fun" you people don't like so much. Walnuts! has a running mate, and she's also a has-been burnout.

Well How About That, It’s That Paris Hilton Gal

Oh that wacky Paris Hilton, seizing on the moment. Here she is wearing a creepy swimming gown and responding to John McCain's dumb ad about her in an internet video from some comedy website we've never heard of. Top...

Finally, Finally, McCain Campaign Compares Obama To O.J. Simpson

John McCain and his loser friends are all racists, which we know because they made an ad with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton but not Brad Pitt, Tiger Woods, David Beckham or The Police. Can you even believe it....

Was John McCain’s Ad Racist Because It Didn’t Include Tiger Woods?

There's been a hilarious debate on the Internet the last couple of days, as per usual, about whether the McCain "Celeb" ad was Racist because it chose two young white gals, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, as Barack Obama's...

YOU ALL SUCK: The Obama campaign has surprisingly responded to that latest piece of shit McCain ad, probably because they thought of this nifty line and just had to do it!: "On a day when major news organizations across...