Tag: britain

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Barack Obama Founded ISIS With His Number Two ISIS Guy, ‘Twitter’

Britain, our little big brother, continues to partner with the rest of us in the War On Terror. But it's frustrated with the continued existence of ISIS and its effect on their country. Even after generations of meddling in...

Unifier Donald Trump Will Nuke Our ‘Special Relationship’ With Britain From Orbit

Donald Trump doesn't want your stupid special relationship anymore, Britain! You can just shut your stupid dumb limey biscuitholes!
He Declared Bankruptcy For Your Sins

Donald Trump Coincidentally Cancels Trip To Israel After Israel Tells Him To Suck It

Donald Trump might be popular with the subliterate xenophobic chest-thumping jingoists of the Republican Party, but in the rest of the world, he's about as unwelcome as a Muslim in (LOL) Donald Trump's America. More than 360,000 Britainese signed a...
I laugh at you idiots! So much!

Republican Senator So Sick Of Everyone Saying Obamacare’s Doing Just GREAT, Actually

It sure sucks having to hear about how President Obama's dumb health care reform is doing swell, actually, huh? It's covering more people than expected, it's cheaper than expected, it's saving the country more money than expected -- and...

British Politician Gives Hot Tip To Youngsters: Learn To Talk Like Hitler

We will totally admit that we do not know much about politics in Merry Olde Limeyland, mostly because the parliamentary system seems really fucking complicated. How do you British people keep track of them all? Do you just kind...

Free Republic Geniuses Would Like To Be Part Of England Again, To Escape Socialism

Oh look, some super-brilliant science nerd at the Free Republic has written an Open Letter to the Queen of Englande! It is full of incontrovertible facts, like how we must rejoin the British Empire, because Barack Obama is socialist....

Catholic Church Reaching Around To Jews and Muslims Over Shared Hatred Of Gays

Religionists in Gaye Olde Britain are all in a bother because "Equalities Minister" (get a real job) Lynne Featherstone "launched a national consultation on how same-sex marriage might be introduced." "Indeed not!" said the papal nuncio! "Over our dead...

Pasties Take A Licking From UK Parliament

The Land of Newz is all aflutter this morning about the UK's plunge into a double-dip recession that is the worst since 1975. What is the esteemed Members of Parliament's solution, in line with their super successful austerity plan?...

British Sharia Protestors Giving American Bigots Run For Their Money

Muslim, muslamic law, from Iraq, you know. Muslamic ray-guns? We're not quite sure what this bloke is saying (something about the metric system and putting blood in their pudding cups?), but we know these guys are better than our...

Pope Admits Maybe the Church Has Been Just a Bit Rapey

Pope Benedict's trip to England started on a sort of racist, not-helpful note. But the Big XVI has recovered, and he even told the Limey newspaper men that you know, isn't it a pity the Church was able to...

Winston Churchill Ordered Cover-Up of Posh British UFOs

Recently-released files show that the fancy tea-based British government took their fancy British UFOs very seriously in the 1950s, and Winston Churchill destroyed much of the evidence to cover it up. The U.S. thought it was winning the UFO...

Anti-Limey Hysteria Reaching Fever Pitch

If beloved departing Wonkette editor Jim Newell can be said to have made one enduring contribution to the American collective political consciousness, it's the way he made hatred of the British "fun" again. Before he came onto the...

A Children’s Treasury Of David Cameron Stalking Barack Obama

Back in 2008, the hottest fad among European politicians was to get their pictures taken with presidential candidate Barack Obama, who was much more popular among Europeans than any of them. David Cameron, who had been preparing for his...

Leaderless Britain Suspiciously Riot-Free

As the mists rising from vomit-filled gutters all over the United Kingdom were chased away by the feeble northern sun, bleary-eyed drunken yobs all over the island awoke to discover that the votes they had cast the previous day...

British Politicians Rewarded With Plane Crashes, Street Fights and Dog Attacks

How's the polling going over on the crime-ridden alcoholic colony known as the British Isles? Not too good! Here are some actual news reports from Queen Elizabeth's version of CNN, "the Beeb," about how nature/fate is treating the various...

LaRouchie Birther Kesha Rogers Wins Dem Congressional Nomination, Will Kill All Lobsterbacks

A new ray of prospective 2010 election fun came shining down Tuesday night: a LaRouchie birther named Kesha Rogers will now reclaim Dracula Cunt's Texas congressional seat for America's Democrats, after winning a primary against perhaps a wooden stool...