britain
Catholic Church Reaching Around To Jews and Muslims Over Shared Hatred Of Gays
Religionists in Gaye Olde Britain are all in a bother because “Equalities Minister” (get a real job) Lynne Featherstone “launched a national consultation on how same-sex marriage might be introduced.” “Indeed not!” said the papal nuncio! “Over our dead bodies!” said some Islamists. “So what who cayuhs,” said most of the Jews. But the papal [...]
Pasties Take A Licking From UK Parliament
The Land of Newz is all aflutter this morning about the UK’s plunge into a double-dip recession that is the worst since 1975. What is the esteemed Members of Parliament’s solution, in line with their super successful austerity plan? A 20 percent tax on hot pasties, of course. No tax on cold pasties, though. So, [...]
British Sharia Protestors Giving American Bigots Run For Their Money
Muslim, muslamic law, from Iraq, you know. Muslamic ray-guns? We’re not quite sure what this bloke is saying (something about the metric system and putting blood in their pudding cups?), but we know these guys are better than our bigots. When’s the last time you saw a mosk protest in the United States? Back in [...]
Pope Admits Maybe the Church Has Been Just a Bit Rapey
Pope Benedict’s trip to England started on a sort of racist, not-helpful note. But the Big XVI has recovered, and he even told the Limey newspaper men that you know, isn’t it a pity the Church was able to suppress allegations of child abuse for so long? Pope Benedict XVI, beginning a controversial state visit [...]
Winston Churchill Ordered Cover-Up of Posh British UFOs
Recently-released files show that the fancy tea-based British government took their fancy British UFOs very seriously in the 1950s, and Winston Churchill destroyed much of the evidence to cover it up. The U.S. thought it was winning the UFO race at the time, but were our dandy allies secretly doing better than us? Why did [...]
Anti-Limey Hysteria Reaching Fever Pitch
If beloved departing Wonkette editor Jim Newell can be said to have made one enduring contribution to the American collective political consciousness, it’s the way he made hatred of the British “fun” again. Before he came onto the scene, nobody was using the slur “lobsterback,” and now kids all over the country taunt their more [...]
Leaderless Britain Suspiciously Riot-Free
As the mists rising from vomit-filled gutters all over the United Kingdom were chased away by the feeble northern sun, bleary-eyed drunken yobs all over the island awoke to discover that the votes they had cast the previous day on a lark had resulted in no clear winner. David Cameron, the posh Tory whose youthful [...]
British Politicians Rewarded With Plane Crashes, Street Fights and Dog Attacks
How’s the polling going over on the crime-ridden alcoholic colony known as the British Isles? Not too good! Here are some actual news reports from Queen Elizabeth’s version of CNN, “the Beeb,” about how nature/fate is treating the various sods running for election today: Labour candidate Joe Benton “had the tip of his finger bitten [...]
LaRouchie Birther Kesha Rogers Wins Dem Congressional Nomination, Will Kill All Lobsterbacks
A new ray of prospective 2010 election fun came shining down Tuesday night: a LaRouchie birther named Kesha Rogers will now reclaim Dracula Cunt’s Texas congressional seat for America’s Democrats, after winning a primary against perhaps a wooden stool or some wilted lettuce. She has many thoughts about the British. Oh ho ho!
Making Sure A Plane Bomber Will Never Not Actually Bomb A Plane Again
The Department of Homeland Security will begin smuggling more plainclothes air marshals on planes, most likely by just putting them in a regular Advil bottle. [New York Times] Regarding the aspirational terror act, Obama, from Hawaii, has finally issued important threats about Investigating Things. [POLITICO] If the airplane bomber had been at all talented at bombing airplanes, [...]
John Culberson Would Like To Ask Hillary Clinton For Something
Texas Rep. John Culberson is a jackass, and yesterday he wrote a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. He requested help with something, internationally. So what was his pressing concern for the nation’s top diplomat?
Cheney Is Going To Go Ahead And Just Arrest All Britain’s Terrorists For Them
The British are terribly, terribly cross with America’s former Vice President Dick Cheney. The meddlesome Cheney somehow found himself all mixed up in counter-terrorism investigations over there! It seems he almost totally botched the UK’s arrest of three British guys who were plotting to blow up seven airliners headed for North America. Specifically, Cheney tried [...]
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