bristol palin
It’s been a fun few years, but now Levi Johnston, once and future sperm gifter extraordinaire, has joined every other 22-year-old in America and become broke and a tenant in his mother’s home. According to a report in US Weekly, Levi has already (“already”) squandered his $1 million winnings from being Mr. Playgirl Winter 2010 [...]
Did you know that when you are a PR writer and you send our press releases you are supposed to write the headlines for those press releases as if they were the headlines of a legitimate news source? The sick fantasy of every PR flack is of course that some bleary-eyed editor will see your [...]
Do you remember Nancy French? She is the lady who writes all single-teen-mom Bristol Palin’s blog posts yelling at President Obama for not giving children a mother and a father, because gays. (It is that weird sad Maggie Gallagher Syndrome, where her boyfriend or whatever ditched her so she has redirected her rage onto Adam [...]
Dunno if yall done heard it, Levi Johnston forgot to wrap his pecker ‘gain and done made another baby! But which randomly paired nouns will he and his sweetheart, Sunny Oglesby — of whom he has not yet made an honest woman — pluck from a spittoon and apply directly to the forehead of their [...]
Bristol Palin’s blog ghostwriter has some important thoughts she would like to share, regarding whether Sarah Palin was a terrible horrible no-good very-bad choice for vice president and whether Mitt Romney should be as stupid as John McCain was. (No. Yes.) First, she totally links to TalkingPointsMemo, because that is a thing among all of [...]
Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about ‘putting a ring on it’ vs ‘trial marriage’ (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol is super totally not “doing it” with the hot dude your Wonkette said Bristol was totally [...]
HELLO. Have you heard all the important news that has been going on all week, like Barack Obama personally murdering Ann Romney with his mommyblog, and some guy acting like he is a big Mr. Hero? WELL THERE IS MORE! Levi Johnston is having another baby y’all (you heard that here first-ish) and estranged babymama [...]
Teen pregnancy, as everyone knows, is the surest route to emotional health and economic security. And — would you believe it? — the latest numbers show that states with the highest teen pregnancy rates (which are all states with abstinence-only sex-ed) continue to impregnate their li’l Ashleys and Emmas at a rate that’s almost twice [...]
It must be hard to be Bristol Palin. First you barely escape your shotgun wedding to cool-guy sperm-trust Levi Johnston. Then you are forced to keep constantly being on terrible “reality television” programs. Then you must start a ghostwritten blog to yell at President Obama for not standing up for you against mean comedians, even [...]
Bristol Palin has a blog, you guys, and for serious we are so jealous! It is super exciting and insightful and intimate and well-written and she promises lots of neat stuff, like maybe a picture of Tripp with a mohawk, if you are very very good and buy her book and watch her show and [...]
A hot new reality show “chronicling Bristol Palin’s life as a young, single mother living in the spotlight of being Sarah Palin’s daughter” has been picked up on the vagina network, Lifetime! It will be called Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp, and the young mother and son will run around the forest dropping acid with [...]
OH LOOK WHO IS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. this weekend, like her mother. CPAC brings out all the best stars! Also like her mother, no one is interested in paying Bristol Palin to yap these days, so she must offer as bribery a free signed copy of her senior year diary to the “first one hundred [...]
Teevee’s absolute worst offense against humankind “Dancing With the Stars” is now also teevee’s worst offense against that other section of beings “the teabaggers,” Â because one of the illiterate trolls in Andrew Breitbart’s stable of typing tumors at BigHollywood.com just, uh, happened to notice some costume designer dude on the show picking up a gorilla [...]
