bristol palin
Bristol Palin Will Be A Furry On Dancing With The Stars, Again
Noted “furry” enthusiast Bristol Palin has signed on to Dancing With The Stars again, because her five million other reality shows keep getting canceled.
If Bristol Palin And Guido Can’t Make It Work, There Is Obviously No Hope At All
You guys, we keep forgetting to watch Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp, and for real we are so sad about it, because this week Bristol Palin left Guido on the side of the road, or in a gas station or something, and their talk afterwards for the cameras is some freakin’ Shakespearean shizz yo, like [...]
World’s Best Mom Bristol Palin In Giggle Fit While Angel Baby Tripp Calls Her Homosexual Slur: UPDATED!
What could it be? What homosexual slur did perfect angel Tripp call his mama on the latest episode of “Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp,” which goddamnit we again forgot to watch? UPDATED BELOW!
Better Than The Bolshoi, Deeper Than Roots, It’s Bristol Palin’s Teevee Show Or Whatever
OMG OMG OMG YOU GUYS Bristol Palin’s reality show Life’s A Tripp is starting any second on Lifetime! The reviews have not been “the greatest” so far (lamestream media). Like this, from the Chicago Sun-Times! What we’re left with are Bristol and Willow shopping, squabbling and engaging in vapid conversations. In other words, the Alaskan [...]
Half-Term First Dude Todd Palin Will Be America’s Newest Reality Star Now, Because
So! Got any exciting TV-watching plans now that “Mad Men” is back on its usual two-year hiatus? Oh, you are going to watch “Stars Earn Stripes,” because that is a thing, and it is going to be hosted by terrifying unblinking robot General Wesley Clark along with “‘Entertainment Tonight’ and ‘Dancing with the Stars’ alum [...]
What Should Bristol Palin Name Her New Dog?
It looks as if St. Bristol Palin, Virgin Queen of Wasilla, might have finally fired her ghost-blogger, as all her new blog posts are one sentence long and stupid. For instance, this thing above!
Levi Johnston Broke After Squandering Playgirl Pay On Boats And Guns And Stuff
It’s been a fun few years, but now Levi Johnston, once and future sperm gifter extraordinaire, has joined every other 22-year-old in America and become broke and a tenant in his mother’s home. According to a report in US Weekly, Levi has already (“already”) squandered his $1 million winnings from being Mr. Playgirl Winter 2010 [...]
Yes, Of Course Bristol Palin Has A New Reality TV Show, Why Wouldn’t She
Did you know that when you are a PR writer and you send our press releases you are supposed to write the headlines for those press releases as if they were the headlines of a legitimate news source? The sick fantasy of every PR flack is of course that some bleary-eyed editor will see your [...]
Bristol Palin’s Blog Ghostwriter Triumphs Over Bookstore’s ‘Sexuality’ Section Displaying Books About Sex
Do you remember Nancy French? She is the lady who writes all single-teen-mom Bristol Palin’s blog posts yelling at President Obama for not giving children a mother and a father, because gays. (It is that weird sad Maggie Gallagher Syndrome, where her boyfriend or whatever ditched her so she has redirected her rage onto Adam [...]
Which Randomly Generated Nouns Will Levi Johnston Name His Baby?
Dunno if yall done heard it, Levi Johnston forgot to wrap his pecker ‘gain and done made another baby! But which randomly paired nouns will he and his sweetheart, Sunny Oglesby — of whom he has not yet made an honest woman — pluck from a spittoon and apply directly to the forehead of their [...]
Sarah Palin Was Not A Terrible Horrible No-Good Veep Pick, Says Noted Pundit Bristol Palin
Bristol Palin’s blog ghostwriter has some important thoughts she would like to share, regarding whether Sarah Palin was a terrible horrible no-good very-bad choice for vice president and whether Mitt Romney should be as stupid as John McCain was. (No. Yes.) First, she totally links to TalkingPointsMemo, because that is a thing among all of [...]
Bristol Palin Absolutely Not Sexing Anyone, Says Bristol Palin
Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about ‘putting a ring on it’ vs ‘trial marriage’ (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol is super totally not “doing it” with the hot dude your Wonkette said Bristol was totally [...]
Bristol Palin On Levi Johnston Baby News: ‘I Said No Way, Shut Up!’
HELLO. Have you heard all the important news that has been going on all week, like Barack Obama personally murdering Ann Romney with his mommyblog, and some guy acting like he is a big Mr. Hero? WELL THERE IS MORE! Levi Johnston is having another baby y’all (you heard that here first-ish) and estranged babymama [...]
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