BRIAN ROSS IS READING THE IM’S OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS. VIDEO TK.

Update: Here’s the video. Couple AIM transcripts after the jump.

MORE »

Now that this one’s over, let’s turn to some other questions raised by ABC’s Investigative Team. MORE »

ABC’s investigative team, headed by Brian Ross and his Giant Cordless Phone of Importance, has a very important, not-fear-mongering-at-all story on how terrorists may or may not have added “mass chaos” to their Google Calendar agendas for tomorrow, a date calculated to cause the greatest psychological blow possible to Westerners. That’s right: Bill Parcells’ birthday. You may strike our cities, terrorists, but when you fuck with America’s Team, you open up a world of hurt. MORE »

• Bush, “in an unusual admission,” says he regrets using the phrases “bring it on” and “dead or alive”; joint press conference with Blair has “contrite tone” because “both leaders have reached the lowest point of their careers.” [WP, WP, NYT, NYT]
• Bush orders documents seized in raid of Rep. William Jefferson’s office to be sealed for 45 days. [WP, NYT, W$J, LAT, USAT]
• Senate approves immigration legislation by vote of 62 to 36 but the next steps are “enormously difficult.” [WP, NYT, W$J, LAT, USAT]
• John Snow has told the White House he is resigning; Don Evans and Carlos Gutierrez are among those mentioned as replacements. [WP, NYT, W$J]
• Military investigation reportedly concludes that a group of marines “carried out extensive, unprovoked killings of civilians” in Iraq. [NYT]
• ABC News stands by its story about Speaker Hastert. Reporter Brian Ross: “There may be a semantics issue here as to what constitutes being under investigation.” [WP]

MORE »

The intelligence community: Not interested in calls you make to plan your wedding, very interested in calls you make to Brian Ross. MORE »