You know you are scraping the bottom of the barrel, wonk-wise, when the most famous person on your “spotted around DC” list is Wolf Blitzer. Such is the state we find ourselves in this mid-July. But let’s check out the roster and see who was nearly run over in a parking garage, who was seen joking about his ex-wives, and who stumbled upon a hidden squad of lesbians in Alexandria! MORE »

• SEND US YOUR SEXY VOTING DAY PICS: Hey it is primary day for Virginia libtards, a very exciting day indeed, so maybe send us photos of your rain-soaked polling stations and we will post them! It is always fun to see what’s going on in America, particularly in places where people hang out with Bitters and Olds in the middle of terrible lightnings and thunderstorms. Send your hot pixxx to tips@wonkette.com with subject line JIM NEWELL TOLD ME TO VOTE FOR CREIGH DEEDS.

Little-known fact: Virginia gubernatorial candidate and beloved Clinton pimp Terry McAuliffe spent the first half of 2008 dancing around Hillary Clinton like a court jester on meth, going on morning talk shows and doing shots of rum and laughing right along with his hosts about how wink wink Hillary was totally going to be president, even though not enough people voted for her in the primaries. He was the most underminey best friend in the WORLD. MORE »

Terry McAuliffe, the famous American statesman who helped Hillary Clinton win the presidency by bravely volunteering to do shots of rum on live television very early in the morning, deserves whatever office he decides to run for. He has offered to bestow his gubernatorial blessing on the great state of Virginia, a place he has apparently lived for many years (?!), but first he must VANQUISH several rivals in the Democratic primary. MORE »

Of course, Virginia has a distinguished history of being run by morans. [WTOP]