Wonkette

Intern Nick is on vacation this week (along with the rest of DC), so your dedicated editors had to compile this edition of Washington’s favorite unverified stalking guide all by themselves. Pity us, and learn where Helen Thomas eats, and the places Robert Novak has been known to walk by. Also: did you know that C-Span anchors are celebrities? Brian Lamb sure didn’t! That was the week that was, after the jump.

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Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: George Clooney on Iraq: “We knew it was bullshit… Which is why it drives me crazy to hear all these Democrats saying, ‘We were misled.’ It makes me want to shout, ‘Fuck you, you weren’t misled. You were afraid of being called unpatriotic.’”. . . Keith Olbermann to Brian Lamb: “There are people I know in the hierarchy of NBC, the company, and GE, the company, who do not like to see the current presidential administration criticized at all.”. . . Edward Klein is writing a “poison-pen” biography of Sen. McCain. [NYDN]
Cindy Adams: Charles Gibson will be named Bob Woodruff’s “temporary permanent replacement.” [NYP]
Page Six: The Clintons are on the outs with Harold Ickes. [NYP]

• Washington Whispers: Brian Lamb to anchor the CBS Evening News? “Some folks have been drinkin’ the spiked eggnog again,” he says. . . Scooter Libby “given a hero’s welcome” at Cheney’s Christmas party. . . Sen. Hagel doesn’t mind running against his pal, Sen. McCain, in ‘08. . . Next month “is the first opportunity for sensitive documents to be FOIA’d” from Clinton’s library. [USN&WR]
• Liz Smith: Clinton is spending more time in Harlem. [NYP]

• Reliable Source: Barbara Bush sparks speculation that she’s engaged after she’s seen with a ring on the third finger of her left hand. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: Laura Ingraham tells Brian Lamb to get “Queer Eye” to redesign the C-SPAN set. [WT]
• Page Six: Secret Service agent is assigned to investigate claims about Jenna Bush’s lost wallet; White House issues denials. [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: If Jeannine Pirro drops senate campaign in favor of running for attorney general, will Bill Weld run against Hillary? . . . Sen. Elizabeth Dole’s hair is lighter. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Mike Wallace wants to question Bush: “What in the world prepared you to be the commander in chief of the largest superpower in the world?

A Wonkette operative writes in with an eyewitness account of House debate over an amendment admonishing the 9th Circuit Court for its decision that upheld a school’s ability to administer a sex survey to kids. But according to our operative, the Congressmen on the floor may be wagging more than their fingers:

Tim Murphy — a Republican from Pennsylvania — was just quoting the survey and saying things like “I touch my private parts too much,” “I think about touching other people’s private parts too much,” and “I wash myself because I feel dirty inside.” MORE »

• Washington Whispers: Trent Lott found his refrigerator three blocks from his house and inside were two sentimental bottles of champagne. . . D.C. television viewers are sick of Barack Obama. . . George H.W. Bush’s presidential library plans to add mock press briefing room. . . Robert Bork jokes, “How do you pronounce Souter in Spanish? Gonzales.”. . . News-addicted actor Joe Pantoliano likes “the girls” on MSNBC, especially Natalie Morales. . . [USN&WR]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Brian Lamb marries someone named Victoria. Spokeswoman: “They were married in a small, private ceremony in the Washington area and Brian was in the office all week”. . . Hillary supporters hope “Inside the Bubble,” a new documentary about the Kerry-Edwards campaign, will end his chances in ‘08. Kerry flack David Wade: “The 20 poor souls subjected to this movie will be reaching for caffeine and begging for old Lamar Alexander tapes on C-SPAN2. Michael Moore has nothing to fear. I think the working title was ‘The Snore Room.’” [NYDN]

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