Tag Archives: breitbart

  The Gay Race War is real wait no it isn't

We Must Join With Ben Shapiro To Stop The Gays From Killing Again!

Oh look, it's the gays, taking away Ben Shapiro's freedom.
Oh look, it’s the gays, taking away Ben Shapiro’s freedom. Wednesday’s news was awful. Alison Parker and Adam Ward, a reporter and a cameraman with WDBJ-TV in Roanoke, Virginia, were murdered in cold blood, on television, for reasons we don’t fully know yet. The shooter, Vester Lee Flanagan, is dead now, by his own hand. We’ve already touched on how, for wingnuts without fully formed brains (looking directly at the men who suck Dead Breitbart’s corpse dick for a living, on the Breitbart website), the case is SOLVED, glory hallelujah, because the perp was black. Obviously, this is the beginning of the Race War. Obviously. Read more on We Must Join With Ben Shapiro To Stop The Gays From Killing Again!…
  How to understand the news when you are a racist

Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT

The victims were white, and the suspect was black, so … race war, obviously By now, you’ve heard the gruesome news, unless you work at a bar and you’re just now getting up. A disgruntled former employee of WDBJ-TV in Roanoke allegedly carried out a plan to murder two of his former colleagues, Alison Parker and Adam Ward, on camera as Parker was doing a fluff interview about tourism. Suspected gunman, Vester Lee Flanagan II (or Bryce Williams, when he was on camera), posted his crimes on social media, and then he shot himself. He’s reportedly in critical condition. [NOTE: Police report he died at around 1:30 PM ET.] Read more on Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT…
  Little Man Syndrome

Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy

Ben Shapiro getting his wimp ass owned by a girl.
You may have seen this SHOCK VIDEO rolling around the internets the past couple days, of Breitbart’s never-nude pussy Ben Shapiro arguing with transgender journalist Zoey Tur on the “Dr. Drew On Call” program. It’s a long video, not worth your time, but Shapiro was doing his typical little pissypants bigot thing, talking about how Caitlyn Jenner and Zoey Tur (sitting right next to him) are just men in dresses, referring to her as “sir,” and finally Tur let her anger get the best of her for a second, grabbed Shapiro on his little bitch neck and said, “You cut that out now, or you’ll go home in an ambulance.” NOT NICE! Also, too, Shapiro can’t defend himself, clearly, even though his dad probably gave him that whole talk about “if a bully hits you, you hit them back, son!” Read more on Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy…
  For All The 'Sacrificial Veterans'

Sarah Palin: Iran Bad, Obama Bad, Let’s Build A Wall, Something Something You Betcha

No sir, she doesn't like it!
Just in case you were worried (or hoping) that after losing her big Fox News gig and walking out on her already foundering pretend teevee channel, you might be seeing less of Sarah Palin, you’ll be delighted or nauseated to know that she can still throw a bunch of words into a blender and get them published at Dead Breitbart’s Internet Refuge for Drooling Vipers. Such was the case Wednesday, as the legendary foreign policy visionary who foresaw the Russian occupation of Ukraine looked once again into her crystal doorknob and warned that this week’s nuclear arms agreement with Iran is going to be big trouble, because it’s not merely a plan to put Iran’s nuclear program on ice — it’s actually a complete surrender of both the United States and Israel to the Islamic Republic. And she is not one bit surprised: Read more on Sarah Palin: Iran Bad, Obama Bad, Let’s Build A Wall, Something Something You Betcha…
  They're getting Holocausted too probably

Oppressed Wingnuts: Please Stop Lynching Us With Gay Rainbow Flag!

Yeah, those are totally the same.
The Confederate “Rebel” flag has stood as a symbol, for decades upon decades, of black people being enslaved, oppressed under Jim Crow laws, being LYNCHED simply for who they are. The rainbow gay pride flag is a pretty rainbow that means something like “ohana” for all the gays, we don’t fucking know, we’re bad at gayness. But did you know, that in the perpetually aggrieved and butthurt fever dreams of anti-gay “Christian” wingnuts, the gay pride flag is LITERALLY lynching them, and also Holocausting them? IT’S TWOO! Grab a box of Kleenex, because you’re going to need something to wipe up all the tears of laughter empathy you’re about to shed for America’s most oppressed majority. Read more on Oppressed Wingnuts: Please Stop Lynching Us With Gay Rainbow Flag!…
  just kidding they're all racist assholes

Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect

Unlike wingnuts, that ugly dog is actually lovable.
Our headline is a flat-out lie. Wednesday night in Charleston, a white gunman identified as Dylann Storm Roof allegedly sat and prayed with black churchgoers at a bible study for an hour, and then opened fire, killing nine people, including the pastor, Clementa Pinckney, who was also a South Carolina state senator. As he continued to shoot, a survivor reports that Roof said, “I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.” Unless this particular church has a reputation for raping our women and taking over our country, that sure sounds like a hate crime, and we don’t mean against Christians. Read more on Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect…
  Guilt By Representation

Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison Obviously Behind Shooting In Texas Because Muslim

Another axe-wielding Minnesota maniac
Dead Breitbart’s Foundation For Frothing Paranoia brought us a whole new frontier in guilt by association Tuesday, revealing the shocking connections between the idiot jihadist-wannabes who tried to shoot up a stupid anti-Islam hatefest in Texas and a Somali radical Islamist who used to live in Minnesota Rep. Keith Ellison’s congressional district. Hey, Keith Ellison, why aren’t you reining in people who once lived in your district, you terrorist sympathizer, you? Read more on Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison Obviously Behind Shooting In Texas Because Muslim…
  Just what everyone needs

NRA: Know What Baltimore Needs? More Guns, So Everybody Can Stand Their Ground!

This would fix everything
With all of those people marching and looting and hip-hopping in the streets again, the National Rifle Association’s social media experts have teamed up with Still Dead Andrew Breitbart’s Cyber Tickle Fest For Insecure Neckbeards to tell America the HARD TRUTH about the rampant thuggery in Baltimore: Read more on NRA: Know What Baltimore Needs? More Guns, So Everybody Can Stand Their Ground!…
  Molotov!

Loretta Lynch Is Finally Your New Attorney General, IMPEACH!

Now the evil scheming begins
Well, that wasn’t so hard! After waiting for a nearly record-setting 166 days to be confirmed, Loretta Lynch was finally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General by Vice President Joe Biden, who presumably saved his congratulatory groping for after the ceremony. Read more on Loretta Lynch Is Finally Your New Attorney General, IMPEACH!…
  America: Where preventing child murder is controversial

Country Stars Tim McGraw, Billy Currington In False-Flag Gun-Grabbing Sandy Hook Slapfight!

Tim McGraw's gonna have to pry the guns out of his own songs!
Remember the Sandy Hook school massacre? The one where 20 first-graders were gunned down by a crazed shooter named Adam Lanza? Yes, that one. Tim McGraw announced this week that he would be headlining a concert in Hartford, Connecticut, to benefit Sandy Hook Promise, a America-hating, gun-grabbing nonprofit group that seeks to protect kids from getting murdered, with guns. Sounds innocuous enough, right? Not for America’s rabid gun-humpers! No, not even the Sandy Hook massacre was horrifying enough to get those fine patriots to reconsider their position on gun control. Those kids are just collateral damage we guess — assuming they existed! Also scheduled to perform were Billy Currington and Chase Bryant, but oh wait, after being relentlessly attacked by wingnuts, Billy Currington has decided to be a pussy and pull out. Let’s examine in further detail! Read more on Country Stars Tim McGraw, Billy Currington In False-Flag Gun-Grabbing Sandy Hook Slapfight!…
  Next She'll Say Poverty Causes Crime Or Something

Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores

What a nut!
So you know how from time to time we have a good laugh at the logic of wingnut politicians and preachers who claim a causal link between two obviously disparate things, like “taking prayer out of the schools led to Sandy Hook” or “Gays, abortion, and the ACLU caused 9/11” — that sort of thing? Well, thank goodness, now the rightwing has an example of a completely insane causal connection being predicted by a Democrat, so we suppose we’d better shut up! You see, California Rep. Barbara Lee has this crazy idea that global warming will turn women into prostitutes! Read more on Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores…
  This Is The Worst Cruz I've Ever Been On

All Your Excited Reactions To Ted Cruz’s Big Presidential Jesus Announcement

These Rand Paul supporters were excited to be in the front row
Ted Cruz is ready to take America down the Jesus Road to national salvation, and some people are more excited about that than others. On the one hand, you have your Tea Party Nation, which declares Cruz “the only electable Republican” because he’s very smart and is “not handcuffed with the consultant class” that has kept Real Conservatives from winning the GOP nomination, and hence the presidency. And then there are fans of other candidates, like the Liberty University students in the photo above, who wore their “Stand With Rand” t-shirts for Rand Paul and made a point of sitting in the front row. Read more on All Your Excited Reactions To Ted Cruz’s Big Presidential Jesus Announcement…
  If the milk's free nobody will buy any cows

Fox Panel Pretty Sure Nobody Gets Married Because Ladies Give Away All Their Sex

When it’s time to learn about sex trends, it’s time to check in with Andrea Tantaros, dumb former vee-jay Kennedy and the rest of the crew on Fox’s Outnumbered, who have their fingers right on the G-spot of culture. So why is nobody getting married anymore? Andrea Tantaros poses that question to Dr. Manny Alvarez, who says that it’s because immigrants are always getting together and deciding to have babies, but they forget to get married because it’s not part of their “culture.” He also says that nobody is “paying attention” to marriage, not heteros, not homos, not nobody never. Read more on Fox Panel Pretty Sure Nobody Gets Married Because Ladies Give Away All Their Sex…
  location location causation

Pricey New York Real Estate Proves Global Warming Is A Hoax, Obviously

parking not included
Were you concerned conservatives would never locate the real “smoking gun” that proves the Great Global Warming Hoax? Well, hold on to your coal, Holy Rollers, because Breitbart LLC finally unearthed definitive proof of the Greenstapo’s climate conspiracy: New York City real estate is really fucking expensive! Read more on Pricey New York Real Estate Proves Global Warming Is A Hoax, Obviously…
  She so S-M-R-T

Bristol Palin Says Her Mom Invented Impeachment, You’re Welcome

Constitutional expert up in here
via Bristol’s FacePlace page Yes, most people in ‘Merica agree that impeaching the president for thinking he’s some kind of president or something would be a really stupid idea, but Bristol Palin’s ghost blogger wants you to know it was Bristol’s mom’s stupid idea first: Read more on Bristol Palin Says Her Mom Invented Impeachment, You’re Welcome…
  louie louie

Louie Gohmert Takes His Crucifixion Porn Fetish To The Floor Of The House

fap fap fap
Up top is Texas toadstool Louie Gohmert on the House floor a little while ago, giving one of those speeches that reminds us all he is democracy’s greatest orator since Cicero. What important topic could the toadstool be expounding on, with visual aids that appear to be blown-up stills from the final scene of Spartacus? Let’s listen in. Read more on Louie Gohmert Takes His Crucifixion Porn Fetish To The Floor Of The House…