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Posts Tagged ‘breasts’

REPUBLICANS

TeeVee Moron Endorses McCain

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Meet the next Mrs. John McCain!A comical idiot girl on the teevee show The Hills has endorsed John McCain, according to TMZ and US Weekly. This pretty much ensures that Old Man Walnuts will become president. Let’s explore the cultural/political significance of Heidi Montag, who apparently goes around in public in a whimsical prostitute nightgown, after the jump.

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TOP

Mary Carey: Buy My Tits!

Thursday, December 6th, 2007

mary%21.jpgEver think about waking up next to Mary Carey tits every morning? To spoon and cup them gently from behind? To hit that snooze button a few times and sleep in? Well, now you can. Sort of. The top-heavy porn star, who ran for governor of California against Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2003, is auctioning off her breast implants on eBay to benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation. By post time, the highest bid was $6,400.

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DEMOCRATS

Thursday, August 16th, 2007

Biden causes nervous laughter in the room as he explains it this way: “We have to get off that sucking off that breast which is China.” [Back Roads to the White House]


METRO SECTION

Metro Section: Isn’t Life Juicy?

Monday, February 26th, 2007

* The CVS at the Starburst intersection was robbed, causing an elderly woman to faint. [Frozen Tropics]
* Spot the Nazi bus and Eva Braun will poop on your chest. [Mayhem By Miss M]
* Best tender breasts aren’t even on the menu anymore. Get in the know. [The DC Concierge]
* Shutdown Day 2007. OMGROTFLOL. [The View from Dupont]
* New Whole Foods in Fairfax has wine tasting bar, five gourmet restaurants and fashion beers. One of only two “concept” locations. [Go Clipless]


FOX

Neil Cavuto Introduces the New ‘Fox & Friends’ Line-up

Thursday, January 25th, 2007

Neil Cavuto and a panel of experts discuss Iraq policy. - WonketteFox News’ Your World presented five glorious minutes of Neil Cavuto and a roundtable of Hooters girls yesterday. Cavuto had them on to plug their 2007 calendar, but he took the opportunity to ask them about the more pressing issues facing our country today. MORE »


JOHN MCCAIN

Rumors On The Internets: Never Too Poor for Porn

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006

* The Wall Street Journal knows that raising the minimum wage is unnecessary as long as the great wealth producing engine that is Burger King keeps humming along. [Sadly, No!]
* Justice Department argues that children must have access to online breasts. [Slashdot]
* Barack Obama’s having a hard time walking around, what with Mike Huckabee swinging from his nuts and all. [Political Insider]
* Malkin embarks on her blond admonition tour. [Michelle Malkin]
* Walnuts McCain uses Jedi mind tricks on Silvestre Reyes: “You want to increase the number of troops in Iraq, you want to tell the media John McCain is the no-nonsense maverick who gave you this idea.” [Political Animal]
* Being investigated by the FBI is no bar to Congressional leadership positions, as long as you’re white. [TPM Muckraker]


METRO SECTION

Metro Section: We Bought the Mayor a Brand New Sash

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006

* Adrian Fenty turns 36, celebrates by baking weed brownies and seeing The Fountain. [DCist]
* We agree, Rep. Kingston, spending time here eats away at families, libido, syntax. [Alligators on a Party Barge]
* Hot 99.5FM morning show needs a sidekick for DJ Kane. This is a dream job. Send Kane your craziest clip, but try hard because he’s from Florida. [Hot 99.5]
* Bloggers describing their breasts as spectacular. Score another one for citizen media! [Yeah, so I'm...]
* Just what Capitol Hill needs, now that Foley is gone. [Barzelay]


CONGRESS

Ask a Lobbyist: Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask us.

This week: we asked for questions, and you guys delivered. There’s enough creepy varations on “what do you look like naked” to last us ’til Christmas! Other pressing matters, after the jump.

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CONGRESS

Libertarian Candidate Stunt Watch

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006

Handicapped people deserve to get slapped. - WonketteOur libertarian brothers and sisters represent something like four or five guys nationally (despite their ridiculously disproportionate Washington representation — don’t you guys know that if you lived anywhere else in the country you might get a congressman?), but their candidates can always be counted on to stir shit up. Today’s laissez-faire heroes: MORE »


WHITE HOUSE

Actress Wants To ‘Get Some Things Done In the Oval Office’

Monday, September 18th, 2006

Red state? - WonketteA young actress famed for walking around in breast-accentuating dresses says she’s got a new goal. MORE »


PORN

Rumors On The Internets: Cry Me a Mystic River

Friday, September 15th, 2006
  • Yesterday was godless Hollywood elite day on cable, as Clooney and Penn battled each other in depth of sincerity contest. [Think Progress; Newbusters]

  • The Nancy Grace award for “savage sadism” still searching for a recipient as vicious as the woman herself. [Andrew Sullivan]
  • Angelina Jolie’s time is up and the UN needs a new pair of spokestitties for its High Council on Refugees. [Impeccableliberalcredentials]
  • Chuck Colson, as clueless about gays as he is about breaking into office buildings. [Good As You]
  • Meeting of the Non-Aligned Nations in Cuba this week bears no resemblance to the final scene of Team America: World Police, really. All photos courtesy of the CIA. [LGF]
  • Mayor of Gallatin, TN rents city hall out for porno film shoot that’s not really porno, more like late night Spike TV. [Tennessean]
  • Unsurprisingly, the new “Night of Bush Capturing” terrorism simulation video game is pretty fun. [The Jawa Report]