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Posts Tagged ‘breaking’

Hillary Quits: ‘I Will Extend My Congratulations To Senator Obama And My Support For His Candidacy’

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

sadnessBREAKING: Hillary Clinton just conceded in a 2 a.m. email to supporters. She concedes, finally! It’s a good thing we registered at HillaryClinton.com! Let’s read her cyber-concession, after the jump. MORE »


BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT OF SOUTH CAROLINA

Saturday, January 26th, 2008

Barry is the Prez, for tonight!
Jesus, that was fast. With, uh, 0% reporting, MSNBC is projecting a massive victory for Barry Hussein Barack Obama and a crushing, horrific, humbling defeat for Hillary and Bill Clinton. Just kidding about the last part. MORE »


Congresswoman Announces She Has Terminal Cancer

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

julia.jpgRep. Julia Carson, the first black congresswoman of Indianapolis, has announced she has terminal lung cancer. The 69-year-old former secretary told The Indianapolis Star on Saturday that she had been on a leave of absence since September to seek treatment. “Then the second shoe fell — heavily,” Carson told the paper in a brief written statement. “My doctor discovered lung cancer.” Statement after the jump. MORE »


Ohio Rep. Dead, Wikipedia Nazis Censor Terrible Truth

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

RIP - WonketteRep. Paul Gillmor was found dead at his apartment in his apartment today. Staffers went to his home after the 68-year-old Republican failed to show up for work today. There’s been no official word on cause of death, but some Wikipedia users have a working theory: MORE »


HEY EVERYONE, GONZO FINALLY RESIGNED

Monday, August 27th, 2007

In one final display of hilarious ineptitude, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned on a Friday afternoon, the traditional home of the unwelcome newsdump, and then waited until a Monday morning to announce it. Way to go, Fredo — you will be missed! MORE »


Justice Served Yet Again: Scooter Sentence Commuted!

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

How come I never do / what I'm s'posed to do - WonketteBush finally manned up and did the right thing — kinda sorta didn’t-really-pardon Scooter Libby. MORE »


CHENEY RESIGNS!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 28th, 2007

WOLFIE RESIGNED HEY EVERYONE

Thursday, May 17th, 2007

Thanks for the buy-out, suckers! - WonketteShoeless Paul Wolfowitz will quit the World Bank on June 30th, the bank announced today. They apparently agreed to pay him that huge severance package. MORE »