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Tag: breaking news

Oh Yay It Is Time For War With China! (Thanks Trump!)

China reportedly seizes US Navy vessel in South China Sea. Gee, wonder why they might have done that.

Capitol On Lockdown, Republicans Want To Bring Guns To RNC Knife-Fight. TOTALLY NORMAL.

The US Capitol -- and the White House too! -- is on lockdown just because someone decided to exercise their Second Amendment all over the visitor center. Emails telling all staff to shelter in place -- and, if you're...

Not Much Known About Washington Navy Yard Shootings, But Guns Definitely Not To Blame

We are at the "Oh Jesus Not Again" phase of the awful news from Washington right now, and if you want accurate, up-to-the-minute reporting, we would suggest that you read an actual news website (we're mostly going from the...

BREAKING! Rick Santorum Takes His Balls And Goes Home

Do you hear that? That is the sound of weeping -- really, that phlegmy, breathless, hacking snot-snarfling SOBBING -- throughout the land as political humorists realize the little spitty, sneery, smegmatic Torquemadita has bowed to something called "reality." And...

Maryland ‘Discovery Channel’ HQ Attacked By Gunmen

Well, what is this all about? So many tips! We will just post them. Be careful, people who work around the Discovery TeeVee Channel Building in Silver Spring. Remember when Newt Gingrich said we don't need PBS anymore because...

BREAKING NEWS: Best Friends Obama and Medvedev Hang Out At The Max

After teasing you with a photo of Obama and a post about Medvedev's Twitter account, it's time we finally acknowledge the BIG POLITICS NEWS of the day: President Obama took Russian President Medvedev to Ray's Hell Burger in Arlington...

The Story That Would Never Come, It Has Come

"ST. PAUL, Minn. – Republican Norm Coleman conceded to Democrat Al Franken in Minnesota's contested Senate race on Tuesday, ending a nearly eight-month recount and court fight over an election decided by only a few hundred votes."

IT'S 9/11 + HALLOWEEN × INFINITY: Human oddity Michael Jackson is dead, according to a chain of increasingly reliable media outlets starting with TMZ and ending with Raw Story the New York Times. (Just kidding, it's only TMZ and...

METRO CRASH KILLS 2, 6, 9, INJURES 55 76: Red line trains smash up and stack up near the Ft. Totten Metro station, and emergency teams have reportedly just finished the "extraction." Traffic jams, ambulances trying to get in...

Lockdown at Census Bureau … With Helicopters?!

Yikes, what is going on at the Census Bureau? Wonkette operative "Jon S." reports, "An announcement just came over the loudspeaker saying nobody is allowed to enter or leave the U.S. Census Bureau, except security personnel. Oh noes, sinister...

Here Is Bo Obama, ‘America’s Shelter Dog’

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Look, it's the mangy half-breed street cur Ted Kennedy dropped on the Obamas' doorstep the other night. He has been wormed. The Obama family showed him to the...

MSNBC on Top of Its Game