breaking
Michelle Obama Survives Near-Fatal Near-Miss Airplane Non-Crash
The entire American world is freaking out right now, according to the home pages of every single American news source, because Michelle Obama was nearly killed in what is being shrugged off as a “landing mishap.” The plane carrying our FLOTUS was only three miles away from a military C-17 instead of the required five [...]
The Black Guy Always Dies First: Michael Steele Drops Out of RNC Race
Michael Steele dropped out of the race to run the RNC after a series of closed door meetings with every candidate except, as far as I could tell, Reince Priebus. [...] Steele released his supporters — 28 in the last ballot — and asked them to “stand with me in supporting Maria Cino.” “And now, [...]
Wonkette Exclusive: Joe Miller Runs Screeching From Simple Question
Alaskan Senate hopeful and semi-bearded teabagger Joe Miller literally ran away from a question about his disabled-veteran status during last night’s “Meet and Greet” session in Anchorage. In a roomful of 50 people — most supporters and well wishers — Miller was asked to identify his service-connected disability and his official “percentage disabled.” Panic swept [...]
MOONIE MASSACRE: Local videographer and delightful monster Liz Glover tells your Wonkette that she has just been laid off from the Washington Times, along with most other employees. Sorry/Hooray, Liz!
JOHN ‘NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2′ ENSIGN ADMITS SEX AFFAIR: Jesus, so much to post… this idiot, Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada, has admitted to having a sex affair with a female campaign staffer, in 2007 and 2008. Some aide in Ensign’s office outed the boss, whoops. So until we know more, *ahem*… PICS [...]
Caroline, You Know, Dropped Out Because Paterson Wasn’t Going To Appoint Her, Anyway
When this BREAKING NEWS broke 40 minutes ago, Caroline Kennedy was dropping out of the whole “You know, I am famous, politically, so anoint me senator” deal for “personal reasons.” Ha, and now it turns out (according to the New York Post, which is apparently correct) the “reason” was she wasn’t the “person” Paterson will [...]
UGH: “DETROIT — Chrysler says it will close all 30 of its manufacturing plants for a month starting Friday.” It’ll be like a vacation for auto workers, except they won’t travel anywhere and will enter poverty. We just couldn’t afford that $14 billion loan! [AP]
Awful Video of AG Michael Mukasey Collapsing
Ugh. Why do we even post such things? Breaking News, etc., that’s why! So do us a favor, commenters, and try to control yourselves, show some class, &c., unless Mukasey has specifically done something personally horrible to you. We have no useful update, to this old dude just falling over and people shouting OH MY [...]
Hit and Run: Bob Novak Smashes Pedestrian With Black Corvette
Already known as the worst, meanest driver in Washington, this morning Robert Novak was caught by witnesses driving into a pedestrian and speeding away from the crime scene. Novak was racing down 18th Street through the K St. NW intersection when he hit a much younger man, a 66 year old who was using the [...]
Congresswoman Announces She Has Terminal Cancer
Ohio Rep. Dead, Wikipedia Nazis Censor Terrible Truth
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