Tag Archives: bread and circuses

  we wish we were a little bit taller

Sportsmanship Nice Time Will Brighten Your Stupid Day

Greetings, revolutionary subjects! While we’re waiting to murder the petty bourgeois among you, we thought we’d soothe you with some nice time!. Bread and circuses and all that. You will love nice time because your new Wonket cabal says you will love nice time. You’ll also love nice time because it is adorable: Read more on Sportsmanship Nice Time Will Brighten Your Stupid Day…
  Needz moar nounz

College Newspaper Frowns Upon Springsteenian Merry-Making, For Such Frivolity Is But A Pale Shadow Of Serious Politics

As the great writer Hanna Arendt once said, “Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.” And so it is with great pleasure that we announce that the Iowa State Daily, which we are now officially adopting as Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper, is indeed a keeper of its promises! Let us recap, shall we? At the end of their recent impassioned editorial about boorish knaves defacing the sidewalks of Academe with their impudent political messages, the young fogeys of The Iowa State Daily’s editorial board proclaimed that, in comparison to such flagrant sidewalk-defacery, Showing off celebrities such as actor Justin Long and rock star Bruce Springsteen aren’t [sic] much better, but we can wait to comment on that until tomorrow. Well! Today, which is yesterday’s “tomorrow,” of course, has crept in its petty pace (as the Bard of Avon would say), and did the Iowa State Daily fulfil its solemn vow? Why, yes! Yes it did! If only political candidates of this day and age could be as reliable in following up on the commitments they make to the body politic! Read more on College Newspaper Frowns Upon Springsteenian Merry-Making, For Such Frivolity Is But A Pale Shadow Of Serious Politics…
  kill your television

Guest Post From An Occupy Dude

By Lee Camp We now spend roughly 15 years of our lives immersed in movies and videogames that have nothing to do with what’s going on in the world. There are global protests right now, and many of us are more caught up in the football game or the cooking show, the football game or the other football game, and then there’s a football game and after that there’s a goddamn football game! And I’m hoping soon they’ll find a way to combine a football game with a cooking show into a cookball game. And once that happens, I’m never leaving the house. And the problem is people exhaust their natural anger about the shitstorm in which we live in easier, more suitable ways. Their kid is sick without healthcare, they’re behind on their home payments, but they’re FURIOUS because the Red Sox lost! “Shut up, Timmy! Stop whining about your Lyme disease, Daddy’s busy with his misdirected anger! You should learn from your father and his crumpled up beer cans and go misdirect your anger! …Beat up your little sister or something. …You know, a little bit of fist medicine.” And that brings me to my brilliant idea – Maybe if protests or the environmental destruction going on around the world were covered by sports announcers, people would finally give a damn. Perhaps that’s all it would take. Read more on Guest Post From An Occupy Dude…