We don’t know, maybe Sara actually IS going to kick coffee. She sure says she did it, so we will leave it to you to decide whether that is real or a Big Troll. We clutched our Old Handsome Joe Biden mug closer when we read it. There was also some kind of ultimate Sportsball […]

Oh, hello, shirtless U.S. soccer team! You are here to take some HOT SHIRTLESS LOCKER ROOM PIXXX with one Mr. Old Handsome Joe Biden, Vice President, Esq., si? (SE PUEDE.) Mr. Joe Biden, Handsome, is not afraid of your shirtless virility; he is a man’s man (and a lady’s man, and a mom’s man) (he […]

We are starting to think that maybe school safety demonstrations are not healthy for children, especially this “Red Ribbon Week” thing that’s supposed to scare them away from drugs. In California and Indiana, some exceptionally well-thought-out combinations of law enforcement and little kids didn’t go so great. On the upside, the kids at those schools […]

New Pope is making us happy again, Wonkeroos. He’s on a trip to Brazil where he is doing awesome New Popey things like riding in an open-air vehicle to be closer to the people, and actually walking into people’s homes to give them high-fives and stuff. The guy is goddam fucking just plain awesome.* And […]

(Update: Almost definitely a hoax; details at end of post) We don’t know that we can add much to the basics of this one, if it turns out to be true (and let’s note right away that the story is so far mostly on seriously fringey websites like David Ickes and “Vaticancrimes”, so take this […]

Well, here we are, humping the boonies of the Culture Wars, and one of the Things We Carry is our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. We know we promised we’d get to Ronald Reagan singlehandedly knocking over the Berlin Wall this week, but there’s just so much Cold War […]

Well now we are getting to the bottom of this! When the Secret Service was sexing all those ladies in Cartagena, was that an isolated incident? NO IT WAS NOT! And how do we know this? Because Defense Secretary Leon Panetta “admitted” that last year three US Marines hired a sex worker in Brazil! Now, […]

Is it just us, or is it kind of ick-nast that an Iranian diplomat posted in Brasilia fondled and groped at least four girls between the ages of 9 and 15 in a public swimming pool? It must be just us: The Iranians have called him home, but totes not for the fondling. No, it […]

Remember when this website was all about Barack Obama? Whatever happened to that guy, anyway? According to these Flickr pictures that Michelle posted on the family’s Flickr site, the Obamas are currently in Ireland getting all bloated on Guinness. And who is that drunk on the right, Timothy Geithner perhaps? Maybe he is “fixing” the […]

A new study published by Limey scientist-types suggests that alcohol is more dangerous and destructive than heroin! Ha ha, so next time you are drinking alone in your room and mutter “at least I don’t inject opiates between my toes or in my eyeballs,” an Englishman will parachute through your window and then explain — […]

This time it’s a BRAZILIAN activist judge legislating from the bench: A Brazilian court ruled this week that McDonald’s must pay a former franchise manager $17,500 because he gained 65 pounds while working there for a dozen years. The 32-year-old man said he felt forced to sample the food each day to ensure quality standards […]

Pie: Recognizing that serving food out of an actual building gets you nowhere in D.C., Dangerously Delicious Pies will soon be serving their pies from the back of a moving vehicle. But should you be okay with eating pie under a roof, Monday-Thursday from 4PM-close, from their physical location on H Street NE, they offer […]

The liberals are going to poop all over Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission by making WordPress weblogs illegal. Makes sense and very sneaky! [RedState] The president of Brazil (Hugo Chavez) has been hanging out with the unfashionable Moscow/Tehran crowd, and you know what that means! Yes, Brazil has the Bomb and also probably the […]

The Washington Post has comical new details about the infamous, state-funded June, 2008 meetings South Carolina Sex Governor Mark Sanford set up in South America, to discuss TRADE, with potential “trading partners,” for whatever it is South Carolina produces. (Indigo.) Apparently his trip planners gave word to South American officials that maybe they didn’t really […]

Done: Screen on the Green: Two wars, the housing bubble, pig AIDS, and waterboarding all seem to pale in comparison to DCers’ outrage over the end of Screen on the Green. There’s no other way to interpret this except that God hates all of us.