Tag: brazil

Come To Rio For Olympic Fever! The Kind That Leads To Death For Half Those Infected.

The Rio 2016 Olympics do not sound like a good time!
Could we borrow a little of that Ebola panic?

Republicans Love Unborn Babies So Much, They Will Give Them All Zika Virus To Spite Obama

Republicans, who freaked out mightily over Ebola a couple years ago, are taking a far more laid-back approach to funding preparations for the Zika virus. We can't imagine why.

Idiot Gov. Paul LePage Doesn’t Want Refugees Spreading The ‘Ziki Fly’ All Over Maine

Everyone hates Maine Gov. Paul LePage. Literally everyone on the planet. There are as-yet undiscovered tribes living in the deepest parts of the Amazon, and the first thing they're going to say when some intrepid anthropologist first makes contact...
Editrix can have Old Handsome Joe Biden, we like Sexy Obama.

Barack Obama’s Terrible, Horrible, Badass, Balls Out Rager Of A Week

Oh look at the White House all BRAGGIN' and shit. That Nice Time video above was provided to yr Wonkette (and by "provided," we mean we went to the White House website and copied the embed code) as a...
Sad Brazil fan is sad.

Sportsball Year In Review: It Was Mostly Awful!

Sports! Oh man, sports, aren't they great? Shut up, they are too. Here now is your 2014 Wonkette Sportsball Year In Review, because why not? Off-field Hits Plague NFL Sorry to break this to you, Wonketeers, but the NFL remains the...

Michael Bay Makes Boom-Boom, We Kick Caffeine, And Someone Got Mad About A Thing

We don't know, maybe Sara actually IS going to kick coffee. She sure says she did it, so we will leave it to you to decide whether that is real or a Big Troll. We clutched our Old Handsome...

Let’s All Watch Joe Biden Flirt With Shirtless U.S. Soccer Players

Oh, hello, shirtless U.S. soccer team! You are here to take some HOT SHIRTLESS LOCKER ROOM PIXXX with one Mr. Old Handsome Joe Biden, Vice President, Esq., si? (SE PUEDE.) Mr. Joe Biden, Handsome, is not afraid of your...

A Children’s Treasury Of Children Injured By People Who Care About Children’s Safety

We are starting to think that maybe school safety demonstrations are not healthy for children, especially this "Red Ribbon Week" thing that's supposed to scare them away from drugs. In California and Indiana, some exceptionally well-thought-out combinations of law...

Friday Nice Time: In Brazil, New Pope Calls For Rich To Stop Being Dicks To Poors

New Pope is making us happy again, Wonkeroos. He’s on a trip to Brazil where he is doing awesome New Popey things like riding in an open-air vehicle to be closer to the people, and actually walking into people’s...

Brazilian Preacher Arrested After Offering Followers ‘Holy Milk’ From His Peen (He Meant Sperms) (Updated: Yeah, It’s A Hoax)

(Update: Almost definitely a hoax; details at end of post) We don't know that we can add much to the basics of this one, if it turns out to be true (and let's note right away that the story...

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning

Well, here we are, humping the boonies of the Culture Wars, and one of the Things We Carry is our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. We know we promised we'd get to...

BREAKING! Secret Service Sexing Must Be Rampant Because Marines Bought A Hooker In Brazil!

Well now we are getting to the bottom of this! When the Secret Service was sexing all those ladies in Cartagena, was that an isolated incident? NO IT WAS NOT! And how do we know this? Because Defense Secretary...

Iranian Diplomat Too Sexy For Pre-Teens He Fondled In Public Pool

Is it just us, or is it kind of ick-nast that an Iranian diplomat posted in Brasilia fondled and groped at least four girls between the ages of 9 and 15 in a public swimming pool? It must be...

Barack Obama Hits Irish Pubs, Gets Raptured By Jesus

Remember when this website was all about Barack Obama? Whatever happened to that guy, anyway? According to these Flickr pictures that Michelle posted on the family's Flickr site, the Obamas are currently in Ireland getting all bloated on Guinness....

Study: Boozing Bad For Society, Eat Mushrooms Instead

A new study published by Limey scientist-types suggests that alcohol is more dangerous and destructive than heroin! Ha ha, so next time you are drinking alone in your room and mutter "at least I don't inject opiates between my...

Fat Employee Sues McDonald’s

This time it's a BRAZILIAN activist judge legislating from the bench: A Brazilian court ruled this week that McDonald's must pay a former franchise manager $17,500 because he gained 65 pounds while working there for a dozen years. The 32-year-old...