All us crybaby liberals are all crying, “Oh no Barack Obama isn’t being liberal enough about everything, even though he is supposed to be black.” Well now we know the rest of the story: This big old cauliflower brain in the White House is not-so-secretly running everything. And you know what color cauliflower is …. [White House Flickr]

If there’s one thing nutty klanslady Sarah Palin is a-scared of, it is the Communist Threat. (And Katie Couric.) While there is no evidence of an actual communist country on Earth outside of, say, Cuba and … let’s see, that child army of Marxists or whatever in Nepal, it is still highly probable that a secret Communist could somehow win the presidency of our god-fearing anti-Communist country, America, and then covertly turn us all into Mao-worshiping Soviets! But which of our great presidential candidates in ‘08 maybe has some “lost years” when the Communists maybe prepared him for this stealth takeover of the USA? Hmmm? Or should we say, HEHNGHH? MORE »

Today’s Los Angeles Times featured an op-ed from Dr. Daniel G. Amen, neuropsychiatrist to the stars, that kinda hypothesized why Hillary’s a bitch, Rudy’s an ass, Bush is stubborn, Clinton’s a sex fiend, and Cheney is all of the above: They have the crazy brains. And if we don’t test the presidential candidates’ brain health forthwith, well, prepare to get nuked, Random Non-Threatening Country: “A president with brain problems could wreak havoc on the U.S. and the world at large.” In other news, the last 40-odd years of the presidency happened. [LA Times]

Not even God loves Republicans these days: Tim Johnson has apparently recovered from his horrible ordeal. The South Dakota Democrat whose brain went screwy this week is now “responsive,” which is way more than you can say for Strom Thurmond’s last 20 years in the Senate. MORE »