Tag Archives: bradlee dean

  take the no buttsex pledge today!

Here Are 50,443 Inspiring Americans Who Won’t Let Supreme Court Do Gay Stuff To Their Butts

Poor things.
The time is nigh, when the Supreme Court of the United States of America will likely find that there is a constitutional right to marriage equality, though court watchers don’t predict that they’ll make gay marriage a requirement for all Americans. But you’d think they were about to do that, the way anti-gay Jesus Americans are panicking, by nervously, fearfully pulling out their nipple hairs and issuing proclamations that NO! you cannot force gay marriage right down their throats, they’re gonna spit it out! Read more on Here Are 50,443 Inspiring Americans Who Won’t Let Supreme Court Do Gay Stuff To Their Butts…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Welcome To The Cesspool Of Filth

No, *you're* the most basic of jokes.
It’s been a quiet week in the old deleted comments queue; we somehow managed not to trigger any long manifestos from wingnuts about sovereignty or the UN Agenda 21 plot to pollute and impurify our precious bodily fluids. We’ll try harder. We did get one notable tsk-tsk about our terrible conduct from “TheLongVersion,” who was not at all pleased with all the cruelty directed toward poor innocent George Zimmerman, who once again found himself in trouble last week: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Welcome To The Cesspool Of Filth…
  point and laugh

Wonkette Wingnut BFF Bradlee Dean Makes Poem, Proves Gay Marriage Will Cause Holocaust

World's most beautiful poet.
Wonkette is very excited to let everyone know that Bradlee Dean, our hilarious bestie who is also a religious rights activist, has written a very important poem at the WorldNetDaily, about how gay marriage is going to cause the Holocaust. Like we need to be reminded! Now, Bradlee Dean does not like being quoted, but fuck him, here is his poem, which is his own version of the famous Martin Niemöller “First they came for the socialists” quote. Is it good? Ha ha, no, Bradlee Dean is bad at many things, and poetry is one of them: Read more on Wonkette Wingnut BFF Bradlee Dean Makes Poem, Proves Gay Marriage Will Cause Holocaust…
  No Mention Of A Free Toaster Oven Either

Gays Admit To Recruiting Your Children, Say Adorably Gullible Rightwing Nutjobs

They want you! They want you!
Well, darn it, if you can’t believe the headline of an article at Bradlee Dean’s Refuge For WND Rejects, how can you trust anything you read on the interwebs? A March 12 piece by Tim Brown certainly sounds terrifying enough: “Open Sexual Deviant: I’ve Been Indoctrinating America’s Kids to Be Sodomites – I Lied about It & Am Not Sorry” OMG it’s true! The Gheys really ARE trying to recruit our children into their lifestyles of sin and depravity! And lord knows it certainly starts with a fine goulash of paranoid terror: Read more on Gays Admit To Recruiting Your Children, Say Adorably Gullible Rightwing Nutjobs…
  Notorious RBG Meets Noxious WTF

Wingers Demand Ginsburg, Kagan Recuse Selves From Gay Marriage Case, Go Play Softball

Dangerous radicals
The American Patriarchy Association, fronted by spokescreep Bryan Fischer, is calling for Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan to recuse themselves from the Supreme Court’s upcoming case on same-sex marriage because they’re entirely too biased on the issue. And who better to opine on this than a man who believes the First Amendment only applies to Christians and that the only laws that are truly Constitutional are those which God would agree with? Read more on Wingers Demand Ginsburg, Kagan Recuse Selves From Gay Marriage Case, Go Play Softball…
  Buy One Get One Free At Last Free At Last

Martin Luther King Dreamed That One Day All Rightwingers Would Claim Him As Their Own

Just cut that out, will you?
It’s Martin Luther King Day (his actual birthday was last Thursday), which means it’s time for that weird annual ritual where people who oppose almost everything he stood for in life claim that King is absolutely, positively one of their greatest heroes, and that were he here today, he’d surely support their libertarian, small-government, guns-everywhere, fuck-the-poor, end affirmative action, America for Americans, pass Voter ID, and Freedom For All God’s Corporate Children agendas. After all, Martin Luther King once gave a speech at the Lincoln Memorial, which consisted of a single line about how he dreamed that one day people would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, and then he sat down, having said all there was to say on the matter. Read more on Martin Luther King Dreamed That One Day All Rightwingers Would Claim Him As Their Own…
  Taitz Necessarily So

Orly Taitz Pretty Sure George Clooney’s Hot Lawyer Wife Will Finally Prove Obama Isn’t President

If only I could find some loon with a really hopeless, arguably insane claim...
Excellent news! Birther Hivemind Queen Mother Orly Taitz got a gift subscription to People Magazine for Christmas! That’s the only thing we think could possibly explain this bizarre story from Bradlee Dean’s dumb website for dumb people: For some reason, the completely rational and very serious lawyer, dentist, real estate agent, and perennial fringe political candidate has gotten it into her head that she should try to recruit Amal Alamuddin Clooney, the hot human rights lawyer who married actor George Clooney last fall, into her very important campaign to prove that Barack Hussein Obama is a complete fraud with a stolen Social Security number, a fake Selective Service registration, and at least one Yahoo email account registered under the phony identity of “John Boehner’s Left Nut.” Read more on Orly Taitz Pretty Sure George Clooney’s Hot Lawyer Wife Will Finally Prove Obama Isn’t President…
  Jesus Built My Interstate Commerce Clause

Theocrat And GOP Candidate Mike Peroutka Explains Jesus Is The Football For Your Rights

Drop Kick Me Jesus
On this Election Day, Michael Peroutka — theocrat, neo-confederate, and Republican candidate for county council in Ann Arundel County in Maryland who has also flirted with the Constitution Party because CONSTITUTION — would just like to remind you of the Reason for Election Season: It’s Jesus! Read more on Theocrat And GOP Candidate Mike Peroutka Explains Jesus Is The Football For Your Rights…
  wonket legal funtimes news!

Judge Who Probably Has Vagina Teeth Defeats Poor Super-Lawyer Larry Klayman Again

Bitches, man. There you are, trying to sue Rachel Maddow for defamation for quoting your client verbatim, and some hag judge “lady” — in your words, “a woman scorned” — does not even let you win! Naturally, you try to get her thrown off the bench for being a dumb chick, and the dumb RINO Supreme Court will not even let you do that! Dumb RINO Supreme Court! It is all like, nope, not gonna take your case THIS TIME, Larry Klayman, let us know next time you want to sue the NSA or see Bill Clinton’s penis! Read more on Judge Who Probably Has Vagina Teeth Defeats Poor Super-Lawyer Larry Klayman Again…
  something awful

Minnesota House Candidate Definitely Does Not Know How Babby Is Formed

On the one hand, we’re dreading the next four months because we’re headed into peak silly season for state and national elections and there will be so very much dumb politicking rammed down our throats. On the other hand, we write a political humor mommyblog warblog, and ridiculous things done by ridiculous political people is sort of our bread and butter. So, we’re grateful, sort of, for Minnesota House of Representatives candidate Bob Frey, who has some very interesting, and very confused, ideas about how babies are made and also too about AIDS. SPOILER ALERT: He’s pretty sure it is all about enzymes somehow. Read more on Minnesota House Candidate Definitely Does Not Know How Babby Is Formed…
  he is the law

Wingnut Lawyer Decides That All Laws In Maryland Are Invalid Because That Makes Total Sense

We only started to pay attention to exciting new minor league wingnut Michael Peroutka a few months ago when he explained how evolution was against the Constitution. Little did we know that he is running (as a Republican, natch) for office in Anne Arundel County, Maryland. In fact, as of late Tuesday, he’s leading the field in the GOP primary for his county council district. We are totally backing this guy, because he has some amazing thoughts about how laws work. Peroutka has a super well-designed website over at the same sad corner of the Internet that houses Bradlee Dean, and besides being stuffed full of links to bad conspiracy theory books, it has a lengthy screed on how if Maryland passes laws that Michael Peroutka does not like, it means that Maryland no longer has laws. Did we mention that this guy is a lawyer? Did we mention that he is currently leading the GOP race for county council? Did we mention that you might consider leaving this person’s portion of Anne Arundel County should he succeed in this quest? Read more on Wingnut Lawyer Decides That All Laws In Maryland Are Invalid Because That Makes Total Sense…
  can't stop won't stop

Bradlee Dean Will Never Retreat, Never Surrender, Never Stop Suing Rachel Maddow

It was the purest and merest of chance that led us to google our old friend Bradlee Dean to see what he’s up to these days. We had no idea he had such an attractive new website with many colors and much shouting and ALL CAPS headlines and oh look what do we have here? Is Bradlee Dean still writing about how Rachel Maddow defamed him by quoting him? He sure is! And he’s still totally going to sue her, or is suing her, or never stopped suing her. We kinda can’t keep track, and also too we are sorta sad that Bradlee isn’t still threatening to sue us. Read more on Bradlee Dean Will Never Retreat, Never Surrender, Never Stop Suing Rachel Maddow…
  2nd-dumbest man on the internet

Bradlee Dean Thinks New York Public Schools Are Teaching Kids To Do Sex With Animals

Oh, golly, you know sometimes Yr Doktor Zoom goes a few weeks or more without encountering the odd mental oscillations of Wonkette frenemy Bradlee Dean, who keeps failing to sue us so we can get all his money. We still think that Jim Hoft richly deserves his title of Stupidest Man on the Internet, but Bradlee Dean is a close second, and since he mostly works the rightwing podcast & “radio” circuit — some of it’s broadcast on AM and shortwave somewhere — we can’t just read Bradlee, we have to listen to him. Which is all by way of saying that every time we hear this man speak, we can feel our brain atrophying. And so it was with some trepidation that we listened to most of Dean’s half-hour interview on the “TruNews” End Times podcast from Thursday, to see if he ever elaborated on his assertion that in New York City, liberal teachers are now “teaching kids bestiality in public schools.” We figured that if he had, Right Wing Watch would have quoted it, because how would you not? And of course, he never explained it at all. Oh, but there was other stuff, too, and we will bring you the worst of it so you needn’t damage your own headparts listening to it yourself. Read more on Bradlee Dean Thinks New York Public Schools Are Teaching Kids To Do Sex With Animals…
  fortune favors the dumb

Larry Klayman Wins Stunning Legal Victory Over Government But Still Has Not Managed To Inpeach Obama

Regular readers will know that we have made it a practice to be your go-to source for all things Larry Klayman. Yes, he of the Million Larry March to Inpeach Obama, and the imaginary grand jury to indict Obama, and also too the representing Wonket fan favorite Bradleeeeee Dean, and also last coming dangerously close to suing yr Wonkette for libel for quoting court filings against him. That Larry Klayman. He’s been our secret sauce, our own little spicy goodness, for a while now, but he probably won’t even take our calls anymore now that he’s been discovered by the Emmm Esss Emmm thanks to his improbable court victory against the NSA and their ravenous hoovering up of your phone calls, America. Read more on Larry Klayman Wins Stunning Legal Victory Over Government But Still Has Not Managed To Inpeach Obama…
  up and coming

O, Happy Day: Cool New Religious Motivational Speaker Dude Justin Lookadoo Is Your New Bradlee Dean

You know how much mirth Bradlee Dean has brought to us over the years. Ol’ Bradlee is going to have to step up his game HARD because there is a hep new Jesus dood in town here to tell all the public-school schoolchildren about how girls are loudmouthed sluts if they give in to the boys that just can’t keep it in their pants. Read more on O, Happy Day: Cool New Religious Motivational Speaker Dude Justin Lookadoo Is Your New Bradlee Dean…