bp
BP Pays Top Chef To Come To New Orleans, Do Something With All These Eyeless Shrimp
This wonksplainer by DDM was brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spill Blogging. Let’s travel back in time to April, 2010. After years of stroking and massaging from federal and state tax cuts, BP blows a huge oily load into New Orleans’ backyard. BP looks around, says, “Sorry about the mess. Here’s [...]
Poor BP Whining About Excessive Fines
So eleven people are dead. And also more than 8,000 birds, sea turtles, and marine mammals were found injured or dead. And there are over 200 miles of coastland that are still saturated with oil. AND NEVAR FORGET THE EYELESS SHRIMP! Big deal, who cares, let’s not cry over spilled milk, and let’s CERTAINLY not blame [...]
Sarah Palin Worried About Oil Money Conflict of Interest In Her Divorce
Way back in 2007, when Wonkette was literally the only national media actually covering Sarah Palin and her ridiculous role as John McCain’s vice-presidential candidate was still just a stain in Bill Kristol’s underroos, the Wasilla grifter was already planning her divorce from amiable extremist dolt Todd Palin. Emails finally released on Thursday show Sarah [...]
‘New’ Oil Spill In Gulf of Mexico Is From BP Deepwater Horizon Well, Of Course
So, about that plugged oil well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico that was the Disaster of the Summer last year? It is leaking again, a lot, and despite days/weeks of the usual lies from BP and the BP enabling agents of the federal and state governments, the Mobile Press Register‘s independent scientific [...]
Any Random Sarah Palin Email Is Scandalous, As We Prove Here
The Guardian, America’s greatest paper that is actually a socialist paper from somewhere in England, has this fun gimmick where you can see an unseen Sarah Palin Secret Email just by clicking a button. It is like Farmville, but actually dumber than that. The very first random unseen email we saw was a blank page [...]
Happy ‘BP Destroyed the Gulf of Mexico Forever’ Day!
Good morning, dead baby dolphins! It’s hard to believe that today marks the first anniversary of the Gulf of Mexico being poisoned forever. Does anyone even remember what the Gulf was like before murdered sea creatures started washing up on the beaches? Or what little children used to play with and get cancer from before [...]
BP Resumes Drilling In the Gulf, Oil Rig Executives Receive ‘Safety Bonuses’
Let’s begin with the “funny” news: Transocean awarded its top executives with six figure bonuses, because under their shining leadership the company experienced its “best year in safety performance.” Yes, “safety bonuses” for the executives in charge of the oil rig that exploded and then spilled 200 million gallons of oil into the ocean, killing [...]
The Gulf Coast: Come For the Dead Baby Dolphins, Stay and Get Sick
Almost a year after the worst oil spill in Recorded History, the picturesque Gulf Coast is once again teeming with life: From Mexico to Florida, small children are building sand condos, birds are squawking “thanks for cleaning all that oil off me, you guys rule,” and delicious popcorn shrimps are jumping out of the clean [...]
Presidential Commission Exonerates BP, Tony Hayward’s Yacht
The National Commission on the BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill and Offshore Drilling — better known as the NCBDHOSOD? — has published a very official report which proves BP never made a “conscious decision to favor dollars over safety.” We already knew this, though, because BP thoroughly investigated itself and came to the same exact [...]
BP Oil Well Declared ‘Dead’, World Mourns
Today’s must-read obituary: After a weekend of pouring cement into the base of the ruptured well in the Gulf of Mexico, pressure tests conducted early Sunday confirmed the seal was holding, former Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen said announced. The Interior Department agency that regulates offshore drilling pronounced the well dead at 5:54 a.m. (6:54 [...]
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