Tag: bp

'Try not to look smug, try not to look smug, try...'

Rick Snyder Picks Former BP Lobbyist To Protect Michigan’s Environment. What Could Go Wrong?

Michigan's brand new head of Environmental Quality helped manage BP's response to the Gulf oil spill. Are there any pelicans in Michigan?
one of the lucky ones

Energy Companies Sue BP For Taking All Of The Fun Out Of Polluting

It's a dangerous time in America. Corporate People are being persecuted everywhere. Former Ivy League corporatist Ted Cruz is now a faux-populist who's such a commoner that he'll eat, or attempt to eat, pretty much anything. Kasich will create...
Smoke on the water

Poor Oil Giant BP Has To Pay $18.7 Billion Just For Wrecking Gulf Of Mexico

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowment for Oil Spill Blogging and Oily Coastlines. Hooray, the worst oil spill ever is finally going to be paid for, at least some -- BP agreed Thursday to a record $18.7...
Oh, wow...his vibe is groovy for like 5 minutes, and then he's, like, a massive bummer

Sure, Rand Paul Is Now A Tree Hugger, Why Not?

In yet another attempt to convince people who aren't paying attention that he's a totally different kind of Republican, Rand Paul has come out as a self-proclaimed "tree hugger" who thinks composting is groovy and that clean air and...

BP Chief To Gulf States: Suck It, Losers

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowment for Oil Spill Blogging and Bait Shop. Are there business courses specifically geared to teaching you to be a corporate dick? If there are, we have a candidate to teach a...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Racism, Religion, And Ross Douthat Edition

You better believe that Sunday's Times covers the tale of racist fuckwit Donald Sterling, owner of the L.A. Clippers, but you probably do not need to read it because Snoop Dogg already said everything that needs to be said. What...

Human-Shaped Bag Of Greed BP Exec Will Have To Pay Monies To Government For Profiting From Oil Spill

This post brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair For Oil Spill Blogging And Insider Trading. Sometimes we reach the end of the week and it is so hard to decide who the biggest asshole of the past...

Happy Exxon Valdez 25th Anniversary Day! What Fish Will You Murder To Celebrate?

This post brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Blogging Chair For Oil Spill Clusterfucks. It's been a quarter-century since the oil tanker Exxon Valdez spilled 11 million gallons of oil in the formerly known as pristine Prince William Sound,...

Hero Judge: Hasn’t Halliburton Dude Who Destroyed Gulf Oil Spill Evidence Suffered Enough?

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spill Blogging. Do you 'member when BP went and ruined its CEO's whole day, by having that little "whoopsie" in the Gulf of Mexico? We saw things,...

BP Pays Top Chef To Come To New Orleans, Do Something With All These Eyeless Shrimp

This wonksplainer by DDM was brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spill Blogging. Let’s travel back in time to April, 2010. After years of stroking and massaging from federal and state tax cuts, BP blows...

Poor BP Whining About Excessive Fines

So eleven people are dead. And also more than 8,000 birds, sea turtles, and marine mammals were found injured or dead. And there are over 200 miles of coastland that are still saturated with oil. AND NEVAR FORGET THE EYELESS...

Gulf Of Mexico Seafood Much Cuter Now Without All Those Eyes

Remember when hero Congressman Joe Barton apologized to British Petroleum for all the bother the US government was causing it, by forcing it to maybe mitigate some of the hellfire it had sort of rained down upon the...

Sarah Palin Worried About Oil Money Conflict of Interest In Her Divorce

Way back in 2007, when Wonkette was literally the only national media actually covering Sarah Palin and her ridiculous role as John McCain's vice-presidential candidate was still just a stain in Bill Kristol's underroos, the Wasilla grifter was already...

‘New’ Oil Spill In Gulf of Mexico Is From BP Deepwater Horizon Well, Of Course

So, about that plugged oil well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico that was the Disaster of the Summer last year? It is leaking again, a lot, and despite days/weeks of the usual lies from BP and...

Any Random Sarah Palin Email Is Scandalous, As We Prove Here

The Guardian, America's greatest paper that is actually a socialist paper from somewhere in England, has this fun gimmick where you can see an unseen Sarah Palin Secret Email just by clicking a button. It is like Farmville, but...

Obama Nominates Leon Panetta To Lead War Department

Old-timey Clinton hack and current CIA Top Spy Leon Panetta is slated to take over the War Department! Do we mean, "The Department of Defense, Heil Hitler?" Nope! The War Department. Because when's the last time the United States...