So so many ethical quandaries this week! Should “we” “forgive” Michael Vick for being a dog-tortoruing sociopath, because he paid his debt to society? Should “we” continue to patronize a food store whose CEO — a man whose douchebaggery was well-established years ago — recently revealed an unpalatably conservative bent vis-a-vis the topic of heatlhcare? These are important questions. MORE »

American hero and U.S. American Senator Larry Craig has a new ally in his brave battle to un-resign from the Senate and un-plead guilty to trying to get some dick in a public restroom. The American Land Rights Association has announced its support of Craig — one of the bravest, straightest men fighting for property rights in the Western United States — by calling for a boycott of Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport. MORE »

• Venezuelan owned CITGO gas stations facing boycott by people whose giant vehicles need the most refilling. [GOP and the City]

• George Allen’s “ethnic rally” from the point of view of the “ethnics” in attendance. [Shaking Her Assets]
• Flight Attendants resort to lying to get you off your damn phone. [Freakonomics]
• Why are oil prices dropping? Because of the growing stability in Iraq and the decreasing possibility of an invasion of Iran, duh. [Blogs For Bush]
• Ever relevant Consumer Product Safety Commission wants you to take product safety TO THE EXTREME! [Consumerist]
• Tragically misunderstood Mahmoud Ahmadinejad respects Jews like George Allen, has several Jewish friendsters. [Captain's Quarters]
• Richard “Leakmeister” Armitage threatened to bomb Pakistan “back to the stone age.” Unless he didn’t; buy President Musharraf’s book on Monday to know for sure! [ChicagoTrib]
• Lynn Westmoreland thinks torture is fucking hilarious. [Echidne of the Snakes]

• It’s never a bad week when Education Department press releases sound like the hottest porno movie you’ve ever seen.

• George Allen proves he’s not as dumb we think, cause he knows all the dirty bill introduction tactics.
• Allen’s drive and power to lead come from his heroic American God complex, as captured in oil and displayed, fifty feet long, in his terrifying (we assume) home.
• Angry old flyover state cause du jour is a boycott of Miller beer because of the “money” they “donated” to Mexican American charities. Malkin involved, obviously, so whole thing bound to be forgotten by Monday.
• ABC News stores genuine bullshit dangerously close to the Capitol.
• Anderson Cooper’s hoping his bedroom eyes will distract you from the fact that he’s been sent to personally kill Castro.
• In an attempt to get more Benjamins, Target screws up its Franklins. Though a genuine FDR “action” figure would surely sell like hotcakes too.
• Katherine Harris wins her primary, just like we knew she would. And victory is sweet, so sweet.
• We didn’t make it to Katy’s party, not that we were invited, but we did get to this one, and we still haven’t washed Chris Matthews’ or Tim Russert’s handshakes off.
• Please take some time from your busy September 11th anniversary planning, and think about some stuff no one else will tell you.

The first email we got on the subject (we’re on all the psycho xenophobe mailing lists) was headlined “The End of Miller Time.” We read it and had no clue what the hell they were talking about:

For some time we have known there are subversive corporations in our midst. One such corporation is the Miller Brewing Company which donated a substantial sum so that illegal aliens could takeover and demonstrate in our streets. By supporting those who break our laws to court Latino customers, Miller does not deserve the support of any American citizen–it’s time to put an end to Miller Time and let the boycott begin.

We admired the opening sentence and imagined it being read by a young Orson Welles. Then we gave it no more thought. But it keeps coming. Learn the boycott details, or our hazy, alcohol-soaked recollection of them, after the jump.

MORE »