Ready for some afternoon nice time, starring some homosexxicans and beer? Of course you are, because you probably started drinking circa 11 a.m. today anyway because you are a goddamn hero. So, you’ll recall that as the venerable vomit-fest that is the South Boston Saint Patrick’s Day Parade approacheth, there remains a wee bit of […]

Old Handsome Joe Biden accidentally called the wrong Martin Walsh Tuesday night to congratulate him on being elected Mayor of Boston. Instead of reaching the new mayor, OHJB called a former Ted Kennedy staffer with the same name, starting the conversation with a friendly “You son of a gun, Marty! You did it!” After Walsh […]

Oh, Barry, that’s a hell of a nice way to handle hecklers: “You’re at the wrong rally! The climate change rally was back in June!” And hey, hecklers, good chanting! We kind of understood you, which is a step up for presidential speech-hecklers, so that’s kind of a win, too. Everybody’s a winner! That was […]

With Congress back and threatening to ruin any chance of sound and effective government, is there anywhere in the world to look for good news? Have no fear, Glorious Readers, for we scour the globe, and when the globe isn’t filing restraining orders against us, we find good stuff for you. Like this, per ABC […]

So here we have this party we had Saturday night. On the left, that is Nadia Naffe, who is the girl who was suing James O’Keefe for ALLEGEDLY trying to rape her in his Rape Barn, and who was stone cold randomly walking past the bar when our buddy Chris Faraone who is the guy […]

Hi there. Hiiiiiii. Do you like our new website? One commenter has already sussed out that it is like Buzzfeed but with looser editorial standards and a unicorn-vomit color scheme, which sounds just about exactly right, and pretty much what we were going for, so SUCCESS! Speaking of vomit, the only reason we launched this […]

Hey now, we are just going to remind you that this coming Friday, Sept. 13, will see the launch of our GLORIOUS EMPIRE as we set free into the Internet wilds. YOU WILL READ IT. YOU WILL SHARE IT. YOU WILL MAKE SWEET LOVE TO IT, IN YOUR FILTHY MIND. Also a le reminder […]

Welcome to another edition of our Derp Roundup, that collection of virtual floor sweepings that are too stoopid to completely ignore but not worth a full-length post. To start with, let’s give an Excellence In Trolling medal to the sometimes-funny Andy Borowitz, whose New Yorker piece this week was characteristically meh, but managed to fool […]

Oh, Boston. Why don’t you do right like those other cities do? We gave you some tongue-kissing-level love yesterday when we found out you’d feed the poors. We scheduled a visit to your fair town that will be economy-stimulating because we drink a lot. (A LOT.) How do you repay our affections? YOU DO NOT. […]

Yr Wonkette has made kind of a cottage industry about how terrible school districts and states and lunch ladies and errrebody can be about giving poor kids food because socialism or laziness or awfulness or all of them, Katie. But then Boston stepped up, prolly because we have scheduled an awesome party there, to just […]

Hola dudes! The other day we told you we are launching a new website so we can finally have an Empire all of our own, and it is called and also fuck you! “We will have a party, in Boston,” we said (paraphrase, it’s hot in here, too lazy to look it up), “and […]

About a year and a half ago, we bought this here #WARBLOG that is currently getting pixels all over your hands, and changed it into a mommyblog and recipe hub. It’s how we do! THERE WILL BE NICE TIME, MOTHERFUCKERS. But then, we read a bunch of dumb articles about how Buzzfeed got like a […]

So there’s all sorts of weird stuff turning up about the background of Boston bomber guy Tamerlan Tsarnaev, like how Florida cops shot and killed a boxing friend of his the other day … after the friend implicated himself and Tsarnaev in a 2011 triple homicide and then pulled a knife on the cops. Oh, […]

Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Lookatmee), clearly worried that he was no longer on the leading edge of crazed paranoia, suggested today that Attorney General Eric Holder allowed Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be read his Miranda rights not because Tsarnaev is a U.S. Citizen entitled to certain rights under the Constitution, but because Holder […]

Here for your enjoyment are four minutes and ten seconds of America’s Newest Hero, the as-yet unidentified man heard here calling InfoWars “reporter” Dan Bidondi — and his boss infamous turd nugget Alex Jones — the most delightful variety of swears captured on video since whenever Susie Essman was last on Curb Your Enthusiasm. (Kid […]