Wonkette

A Boston area cable news host thinks Bill O’Reilly is such a dangerous “mental case” that he should not be the guest of honor at the Boston/New England Emmys. This brave crusader even offers up evidence that O’Reilly’s crazy loofah rants are signs of an actual personality disorder or something. MORE »

Robert Somma, the poor humiliated Bush-appointed bankruptcy judge who was recently arrested in a cocktail dress, fishnets, and stylish pumps after crashing his Mercedes into a pickup while allegedly drunk, announced this weekend that he would resign from his post. MORE »

Poor Judge Robert Somma’s night of harmless dressup fun came to an abrupt and embarrassing end when he got arrested for drunk driving. Last week the Boston-based judge’s wife was out of town, so he put on his most glamorous cocktail dress, slipped on some fishnets and a pair of heels, grabbed his purse, and drove up to New Hampshire for an alleged “two gin and tonics.” Several hours later he rear-ended a pickup with his Mercedes sedan and the rest is humiliating history. MORE »

Have you ever been to a sporting game, or a fraternity party, or maybe a Mike Huckabee rally? At all three, you can find drunk college students from Arkansas, and you can also hear rock and roll band Boston’s “More Than A Feeling” played on repeat. Unfortunately for President Huckabee, Boston wants to exclude him from this elite club of fair use and is asking him to stop playing the song. Says songwriter Tom Scholz, “I think I’ve been ripped off, dude!” MORE »

For the second time since September, burglars struck Mitt Romney’s fancy campaign headquarters in Boston. While the original criminals got away with a bunch of computers and a plasma teevee, the losers arrested at 1 a.m. this morning only managed to take a MacBook laptop. Also, this morning’s burglars were drunk. “When the suspects opened the car doors,” the Boston Globe reports, “two open bottles of Budweiser tumbled to the ground.” MORE »

I don’t know why I keep building up false hopes, but the Paultard Blimp’s expected launch from Elizabeth City, NC this morning has been postponed again. Now the Blimptards won’t fly until Friday morning, although they still expect to teabag Boston by Sunday. My ass! Why must they be the purveyors of such false hope? And how can we assume, with even a modicum of confidence, that this will fly at all — that it’s even real! — when the reason for the latest delay is that they can’t get the banners ready in time? Let’s see what Ron Paul Forums has to say about this incompetence. MORE »

If you haven’t yet had your fill of Presidential candidates repeating the same stock phrases over and over again while being asked “questions” intended to bore everyone to death, you will be truly disappointed tonight (and you seriously need to get a real life). The debates Wednesday and Thursday in Iowa will be the last! CNN announced this afternoon that the Democratic debate originally scheduled for next Monday in Boston has been canceled due to a lack of interest on the part of everyone who has ever had to sit through one. Holiday shopping is scheduled to continue unabated, as is the television writer’s strike that make everyone bored enough to watch multiple candidate debates in the first place. [Boston.com]

So out in Portland, Oregon, this dude named Sam Adams — the city’s commissioner — decided to run for mayor. Local radio hosts registered the domains www.samadamsformayor.com and www.mayorsamadams.com, and they promised to give them to Adams if he discussed his platform on their show. The Boston Beer Company — which owns Sam Adams beer — got wind of Portland Sam Adams and his little “internet sites” and are none-too-pleased with him using his own name. Of similar legal minds as the GW Hatchet, the Boston Beer Company issued a “cease-and-desist” letter to the radio hosts, because they trademarked the name Sam Adams in 1984. As Politician Sam Adams notes, he has been using the name since 1963. No word on whether former NFL defensive lineman Sam Adams is having his life sued also.

Trademark Dispute Of the Day: Sam Adams v. Sam Adams [WSJ Law Blog]

Although Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo is totally a shoe-in to become the next president, the nativist speedaholic is selflessly willing to put it all on the line with a World Series bet against Soxy colleague Mitt Romney. A spokesman for the Tancredo campaign (probably his dog or something) called ABC News this morning with a wager for Mitt Romney: If the Rockies lose the World Series then Tancredo will drop out, if the Red Sox lose then Romney will. It’s a charitable offer to Romney, whose pathetic campaigning has only landed him in first place in both Iowa and New Hampshire polls. The fool can’t recognize a good opportunity when it hits him square in the magic pajamas, and his campaign has rejected the offer. A deflated Tom Tancredo will resume betting on cockfights in the Mexico City underworld. MORE »

More than a few jaws dropped Tuesday when Rudy Giuliani, who once entertained thoughts of working for the Yankees organization and is close friends with former manager Joe Torre, said he was behind the Boston Red Sox in the World Series. Sure, we understand the need for the bullshit stump speech, but Giuliani, who comes from a long line of New York thugs and mobsters, has now decided to shit on the chests of all New Yorkers. MORE »

“‘As part of a routine evaluation of Senator Kennedy’s back and spine, MRI studies picked up an unrelated, asymptomatic blockage in the senator’s left carotid artery,’ said a statement from Kennedy’s Washington office. ‘This morning, Senator Kennedy underwent preventive surgery at Massachusetts General Hospital to remove the blockage.’” [WBZ-TV via Bostonist]