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  very important endorsements

Sad Johnny Boehner’s A Mitt Man

And there was John Boehner, all alone at the Capitol Hill Club at 8 a.m., loadin’ up at the bar for another day of his miserable life. “Who’s president… I should be… the pressydent,” he slurred, nine empty bottles of Sutter Home merlot on his either side. “Hey who’re you asshole,” he says to the imaginary 10-year-old drinking buddy by his side. “I take you OUT little boy,” he mutters, “I coulda… put up your dukes… have a drink… we’re FIGHTIN huh.” Oh, dear, a scene. “Sir,” the boy, who is actually his 45-year-old chief aide, says, “sir we have to go endorse Mitt Romney today.” “Yeah SCREW YOU, sure,” and they head off to the press conference. Read more on Sad Johnny Boehner’s A Mitt Man…