Tag Archives: booze

  The Green Dream Mountain State

Vermont Heroes Taking Your Booze Hostage For Legal Weed

We trade weed for beer! It's like Settlers of Cattan, but more fun!
Some Vermont legislators have a pretty compelling argument: If the state won’t legalize marijuana, then how about we prohibit all recreational drugs? State Reps. Jean O’Sullivan, a Democrat, and Christopher Pearson, a Progressive (really!), have filed a bill to prohibit alcohol consumption, with penalties that match those currently in place for marijuana possession and sale. The bill’s language is quite serious about this: Read more on Vermont Heroes Taking Your Booze Hostage For Legal Weed…
  Another edition of excellence in GOP lady outreach

Pennsylvania Gov Wants To Make It Easier For The Ladies To Buy Booze And Make Him Some Sammiches

Hey ladies! GOP wants you to run for Congress!
So this is a little awkward. Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett (R-Obviously, As You Shall See) has a swell idea to reach out to the ladies, because we all know how great Republicans are at that. (That’s sarcasm. Lots of sarcasm. ALL THE SARCASM.) Read more on Pennsylvania Gov Wants To Make It Easier For The Ladies To Buy Booze And Make Him Some Sammiches…
  the cause of and solution to all diplomatic problems

Obama’s State Department Full Of Gutter Alcoholics

We are in the wrong bidness. For serious, we thought that blogging meant we could be drunk all the time (check), work in our pajamas (check), and rant semi-coherently with terible grammer (check and check). BUT YOU GUYS, we are officially quitting and joining the State Department, because you gotta see their benefits. As the government shutdown neared, the State Department splurged on $180,000 worth of liquor. Booze. Mommyblogger’s little helper. Whatever you want to call it. And that’s only PART of their liquor total for the year, which topped $400,000. Fuck this blogging shit — we are moving to Foggy Bottom to live the good life with Secretary Kerry.  Read more on Obama’s State Department Full Of Gutter Alcoholics…
  first lady recipes

Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter slash fiction photo-comics for Vanity Fair: Here is one for the “chocoholics,” starring Betty Ford! It’s a Chocolate Icebox Dessert, and while it SOUNDS racist, that is just because of all the liquor. Read more on Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake…
  first lady recipes

Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter slash fiction photo-comics for Vanity Fair: Here is one for the “chocoholics,” starring Betty Ford! It’s a Chocolate Icebox Dessert, and while it SOUNDS racist, that is just because of all the liquor. Read more on Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake…
  priorities

Minnesota Governor Offers To End Shutdown, Reestablish Beer Supply

It seems the threat of becoming boozeless in Minnesota was enough to finally motivate Governor Mark Dayton to try to end the shutdown out of fear he’d need to impose order on a state full of stone sober Lutherans, who if any of you history majors out there can remember are just descendants of the Viking “barbarians” that even Marcus Bachmann cannot cure, so it will all eventually end up in a Canadian invasion to kidnap Minnesota’s hockey players and Prince. Anyway, Dayton has agreed to the fiscal measures proposed by the Republican-controlled legislature, which means Minnesota will have a balanced budget now, freedom wins hooray? Read more on Minnesota Governor Offers To End Shutdown, Reestablish Beer Supply…
  war is hell

Minnesota’s Booze Supply Latest Horrifying Casualty of Shutdown

NOW IT IS SERIOUS. As “the eternal winter of war” continues to defecate all over the once-pristine state of Minnesota, we are hearing terrifying news reports that Minnesota’s liquor is running out. Nobody is able get their state-issued liquor purchasing cards renewed, so we suggest that anyone still alive at this hour over there should probably leave work right now to get to the bars, as this whole situation is about to get a lot worse, possibly even like “Utah worse.” Professional sports, meaningless office jobs, summer school, pub trivia and sex are all canceled as a result. Read more on Minnesota’s Booze Supply Latest Horrifying Casualty of Shutdown…
  cooking with wonkette

Official Wonkette Thanksgiving Recipe Comment Post

Sorry we didn’t do this yesterday — we were at Disneyland, haha, just like that pardoned presidential turkey — but as it’s still only 10:30 in the morning on the East Coast and 7:30 a.m. on the West Coast, we’ll make the wild assumption that you’re all not up and cooking already. (Many of you will not be “up and cooking” all day long, and for this we either toast you or weep for you, depending on the reasons for your particular circumstance.) Read more on Official Wonkette Thanksgiving Recipe Comment Post…
  it's morning in america

Study: Boozing Bad For Society, Eat Mushrooms Instead

A new study published by Limey scientist-types suggests that alcohol is more dangerous and destructive than heroin! Ha ha, so next time you are drinking alone in your room and mutter “at least I don’t inject opiates between my toes or in my eyeballs,” an Englishman will parachute through your window and then explain — using science — how you are a hopeless wreck. The study ranked each substance for “harms including mental and physical damage, addiction, crime and costs to the economy and communities.” So yeah, that’s booze, alright! The study also found that Magical Mushrooms are not very destructive/husbands who gobble them up usually do not beat their wives. Ergo, you should eat those poop-shrooms by the bushel. [BBC] Read more on Study: Boozing Bad For Society, Eat Mushrooms Instead… Read more on Study: Boozing Bad For Society, Eat Mushrooms Instead…
 

The Festival of Lights, Wonkabout Style

Hanukkah, the ancient Hebrew celebration of Christmas, begins tomorrow night and lasts for eight glorious days. Hooray! There are many, many thing to do in DC to celebrate this holiday, and, like all things Jewish, the events all involve food and every possible scenario for Jews to get together and make babies. Read more on The Festival of Lights, Wonkabout Style… Read more on The Festival of Lights, Wonkabout Style…
  liveblogging

ANNOUNCEMENT OF INTENT TO LIVEBLOG: Join us at 8:30 p.m. Eastern Time as we begin a long evening of liveblogging Barack Obama’s special money speech to Congress, and Little Bobby Jindal’s special response (Jindal is a minority, too!), and all the usual jabbering dildos on the cable news. REMEMBER TO STOP AT THE LIQUOR STORE AND SPEND ALL YOU HAVE, ON THE LIQUOR. [Tonight’s Drinking Game] Read more on …
  yes we can

Historical First-Ever President Barack Obama Congressional Address Drinking Game!

It’s been a long hard road, people. We’ve had some hard times, havin’ some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good. Feels good knowing that ignorant motherfucker is back in Dallas, let Texas have him back, right? Back with his own goddammned people, the old America, the old dumb America. Let’s drink to Change tonight, and Hope, and to a variety of other words and phrases we expect to hear as President Barack Obama makes his first address to a joint session of Congress. It’s the first-ever historical President Barack Obama drinking game! Read more on Historical First-Ever President Barack Obama Congressional Address Drinking Game!…
  another dive bar

Galaxy Hut: No Bros Here

Every store, bar and restaurant on Clarendon Boulevard reflects the fact that the Arlington is a total a bro town, except for one: Galaxy Hut. Read more on Galaxy Hut: No Bros Here…
  all this for six dollars

Charm Offensive Launched

“Did you start Wonakbout today so you could mention the super-fantastic $6 show tonight at The Red & The Black (1212 H St NE)?” Read more on Charm Offensive Launched…
  valentine's day

VD Posts Are a Nice Way To Break the Ice

Well, hopefully YOU have a date for Valentine’s Day, you little minx you. Your Intern the Third will be sequestered, in mourning, at one of the these fine drinking establishments. Read more on VD Posts Are a Nice Way To Break the Ice…
  food/booze news!

Drinks For People Interested In Veganism & ‘Fun’

Thursday, Feb. 12: DC Vegan is hosting an event at the Science Club to connect with vegans in the community. You don’t have to be a vegan to go, but, as their website says, you should have an interest in “animal rights” and “a little after-work fun.” Cash bar, 7PM. [DC Vegan Drinks] Read more on Drinks For People Interested In Veganism & ‘Fun’… Read more on Drinks For People Interested In Veganism & ‘Fun’…
  the week in d.c. art

Three Trippy Exhibits and New Orleans Cocktails

The Connor Contemporary showcases the works of John Kirchner and Brandon Morse in a joint exhibit, “Unknowns” and “This Shape We’re In,” an exploration of decay and rebirth. Kirchner takes old oil paintings from unknown artists and adds commonplace things to them — an apple, a shirt — while Morse’s videos show structures breaking down and forming new shapes. Until March 21. [Connor Contemporary] Read more on Three Trippy Exhibits and New Orleans Cocktails… Read more on Three Trippy Exhibits and New Orleans Cocktails…
  food/booze week!

Free Chocolate And Chicken Wings!

Wednesday, Jan. 28: J. Chocolatier, a D.C.-based brand of chocolates and candy, is throwing a tasting event at ACKC Cocoa Gallery at 6:30PM. You know what that means: free chocolate. [ACKC] Read more on Free Chocolate And Chicken Wings!… Read more on Free Chocolate And Chicken Wings!…
  thank god it's thursday

Palin-Biden Debate Drinking Game Begins NOW

Enough with the high-concept drinking games, the fancy prose, and the unrealistic situations — that you are drinking “with friends,” for example. By this time next year, you might be sharing a storage space with your entire extended family, so let’s go ahead and enjoy the luxury of drinking alone and yelling at the teevee, one more time together. Also, we are all poor now, so the beverages will be dramatically simplified. Cheap beer, box wine and a plastic gallon jug of “Vodka City.” Read more on Palin-Biden Debate Drinking Game Begins NOW…
  killjoys

Nothing Fun Allowed At Obama’s Stadium Show

Good news, Obamatards with tickets to Barack Obama & the Decemberists’ big concert at Mile High Stadium: You are encouraged to go through 10 miles of security lines and enter the INVESCO outdoor FEMA detainment camp at 1 p.m., a half day before Obama will speak. Also, you can’t bring booze. Also, there will be no booze for sale. Hope sucks. Read the whole terrifying list of fun weapons and drugs and animals you CANNOT bring to the greatest football game on Earth, after the jump. Read more on Nothing Fun Allowed At Obama’s Stadium Show…