booze

We are in the wrong bidness. For serious, we thought that blogging meant we could be drunk all the time (check), work in our pajamas (check), and rant semi-coherently with terible grammer (check and check). BUT YOU GUYS, we are officially quitting and joining the State Department, because you gotta see their benefits. As the […]

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter slash fiction photo-comics for Vanity Fair: Here is one for the “chocoholics,” starring Betty Ford! It’s […]

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter slash fiction photo-comics for Vanity Fair: Here is one for the “chocoholics,” starring Betty Ford! It’s […]

It seems the threat of becoming boozeless in Minnesota was enough to finally motivate Governor Mark Dayton to try to end the shutdown out of fear he’d need to impose order on a state full of stone sober Lutherans, who if any of you history majors out there can remember are just descendants of the […]

NOW IT IS SERIOUS. As “the eternal winter of war” continues to defecate all over the once-pristine state of Minnesota, we are hearing terrifying news reports that Minnesota’s liquor is running out. Nobody is able get their state-issued liquor purchasing cards renewed, so we suggest that anyone still alive at this hour over there should […]

Sorry we didn’t do this yesterday — we were at Disneyland, haha, just like that pardoned presidential turkey — but as it’s still only 10:30 in the morning on the East Coast and 7:30 a.m. on the West Coast, we’ll make the wild assumption that you’re all not up and cooking already. (Many of you […]

A new study published by Limey scientist-types suggests that alcohol is more dangerous and destructive than heroin! Ha ha, so next time you are drinking alone in your room and mutter “at least I don’t inject opiates between my toes or in my eyeballs,” an Englishman will parachute through your window and then explain — […]

Hanukkah, the ancient Hebrew celebration of Christmas, begins tomorrow night and lasts for eight glorious days. Hooray! There are many, many thing to do in DC to celebrate this holiday, and, like all things Jewish, the events all involve food and every possible scenario for Jews to get together and make babies.

LIVEBLOGGING  5:43 pm February 24, 2009

by Ken Layne

ANNOUNCEMENT OF INTENT TO LIVEBLOG: Join us at 8:30 p.m. Eastern Time as we begin a long evening of liveblogging Barack Obama’s special money speech to Congress, and Little Bobby Jindal’s special response (Jindal is a minority, too!), and all the usual jabbering dildos on the cable news. REMEMBER TO STOP AT THE LIQUOR STORE […]

It’s been a long hard road, people. We’ve had some hard times, havin’ some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good. Feels good knowing that ignorant motherfucker is back in Dallas, let Texas have him back, right? […]

ANOTHER DIVE BAR  4:40 pm February 12, 2009

Galaxy Hut: No Bros Here

by Malaka Gharib

Every store, bar and restaurant on Clarendon Boulevard reflects the fact that the Arlington is a total a bro town, except for one: Galaxy Hut.

“Did you start Wonakbout today so you could mention the super-fantastic $6 show tonight at The Red & The Black (1212 H St NE)?”

Well, hopefully YOU have a date for Valentine’s Day, you little minx you. Your Intern the Third will be sequestered, in mourning, at one of the these fine drinking establishments.

Thursday, Feb. 12: DC Vegan is hosting an event at the Science Club to connect with vegans in the community. You don’t have to be a vegan to go, but, as their website says, you should have an interest in “animal rights” and “a little after-work fun.” Cash bar, 7PM. [DC Vegan Drinks]