Wonkette

As we know, Ron Paul’s Manifesto book has been quite the hot ticket in literary circles, making #1 on Amazon.com’s and the New York Times’ bestseller lists. And why not? It’s the best book since Ulysses, a famous Liberal Novel. So now the only question is, why would Barnes & Noble suppress Ron Paul’s political ideology by not placing his book at the front of one of their stores? Let’s join our old pals at Ron Paul Forums, who have raised this important question. MORE »

It is April 30, D-Day, and this means that Ron Paul’s book hit Borders and Barnes & Noble and the -3 other book store chains across the globe over 17 hours ago! HOW MANY COPIES DO YOU HAVE ALREADY? We have three (million). It is the #1 bestseller on Amazon.com and out of 106 customer reviews, 104 have given it five stars, one has given it four stars and one fascist has given it three measly stars. The three-star review comes from “J. Davis” in San Diego, California. We assume that he was suspiciously found dead within minutes of posting his nuanced take. But what are the other members of the Ron Paul literati saying about the Manifesto? Let’s run through the best comments from Amazon.com! MORE »

Remember way back in JANUARY when math-hating yokel Mike Huckabee looked, for about five minutes, like he might win the Republican presidential nomination? Soon you’ll be able to relive the magic all over again, because he is writing a book, about his campaign! He’ll share secrets like how to gain 35 pounds on the campaign trail without even trying; how to talk your wife into putting a paper bag over her head during Jesus-approved procreative activities; and why Chuck Norris would have made the best Treasury Secretary since Alexander Hamilton. MORE »

If you ever wondered about the secret lives of pill-popping blondes but were too lazy to crack Valley of the Dolls, future First Lady Cindy McCain will help you out. In her memoir, due out just a few months before her angry midget husband is crowned Emperor of America, she will reveal all of her secrets to staying healthy, wealthy, and married to a physically and emotionally fragile war veteran. In other words, the book will be a sort of Less Than Zero meets Deceptively Delicious with a sprinkling of Old Yeller. It will sell one trillion copies after Oprah adds it to her Book Club. [On Politics]

Ann Coulter held a book-signing at South Carolina’s Furman University last night, and the University placed her signing desk in the toilet. Word around campus is that Coulter was on her period or something and out of diapers. [Palmetto Scoop]

Just last month, 78-year-old Arlen Specter, campaign finance reform advocate and Senator from PA—our State of the Week!—released his book about beating the cancer while secretly not at all running the government. (The Amazon reviews are in! “If you like this idiocy, you’ll LOVE his first collaborative work of fiction, The Warren Commission Report! His next book is entitled ‘How to take on the NFL without looking like you’re the bag man for Comcast.’”) Now, in an inordinately cruel and stunning coup by his publishers and the Pope’s God, his cancer is back. (Good news: it’s not back super-bad, though he’ll be having the chemo.) His book is currently number one on Amazon in the category “Books / Health, Mind & Body / Cancer,” despite the fact that it needs a new afterword, STAT. Specter has already survived a brain tumor (twice!) and coronary bypass surgery, which means God cannot kill him; this is highly suspicious. [Philly Inquirer]

Ron Paul’s new joint drops April 30, and according to Amazon.com’s pre-release figures, it’s the #1 bestselling political book already! And if you check out the product description, you might see why: “The government is expanding; Taxes are increasing; More senseless wars are being planned; Inflation is ballooning; Our basic freedoms are disappearing. The Founding Fathers didn’t want any of this.” Whaaa? Mine eyes have been opened! Damn high school history teachers, always going on about how George Washington loved inflation. [Amazon]

At yesterday’s White House Easter frolic, one very important event went virtually unremarked. Two of the Bush gals read incantations from the ancient Book of Sen-Dak to lull an unsupecting group of smooth-fleshed little ‘uns into a coma. The children were quickly clubbed over the head and hauled back to Cheney’s lair for an “egg hunt.” Terrible photos after the jump. MORE »

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! So you know what the best, most exciting part of last week was? Waiting for Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography to finally come out on Tuesday! You know what the worst, most boring part of last week was? Reading it! OMG, so boring! It was a pretty uneventful Condiweek, though, so I’ll be filling up space in this column with some alternative marketing strategies for Ms. Bumiller’s opus. I mean, just because the inside’s boring, it doesn’t mean the outside has to be! Plus! Condoleezza Rice gingerbread cookies fresh from the oven of the Washington Post! All that and Rush Limbaugh, too, after the jump!

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