Wonkette

* Reliable Source: U.S. Trade Representative Susan Schwab is bringing back Flat Stanley. [WP]
* Shenanigans: The thin line between honorable and presidential. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: The Leahy-Ledger connection… Rep. James Clyburn just wants everyone to “chill a little.” [WP]
* Page Six: Huge Chavez enjoys his coca in the morning. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Al Gore makes Bono feels guilty. [NYDN]

At Friday night’s YouthAIDS benefit in Virginia, Bono gushed over onetime MILF Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Reports DC Examiner: After telling the crowd about a particular Pelosi motto that resonated with him — “Inside maneuvering with outside mobilization” — Bono said that he has considered getting the phrase tattooed on his derrierr (which would clearly give new meaning to the phrase ‘bumper sticker politics’).” MORE »

* It’s not the Scientology that Mitt Romney loves, it’s the Travolta. [The Caucus]
* Hillary’s bad taste also in question: Does she only listen to the noise from Bono’s charity, or the shit his band puts out too? [Political Radar]
* Former Abramoff crony turned U.S. Attorney refused to prosecute himself. [Wampum]
* RIP Tom DeLay’s PAC. [Capitol Briefing]
* Joe Lieberman is still as crazy as when you voted for him. [Horse's Mouth]
* Brooklyn congressman knows what he’s gonna do when the bad boys come for him. [HuffPo]
* Gingrich and Hegel hang out with the unions, nonchalantly inquire about members willing to work for 10 cents an hour and no bathroom breaks. [Political Insider]

As Bono taught us, wrongly, Martin Luther King was assassinated in the “early morning, April 4″ of 1968 — 39 years ago today. (It was actually 6:01 p.m. There was no Wikipedia back then, so at least he got the date right.) Today is the real Martin Luther King Day. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: JOHN KYL DOESN’T HAVE A BLACKBERRY! … Louie Gohmert zinged Steny Hoyer something fierce with a Murtha crack… Buncha Republicans planning on having fundraisers at The Who’s March 8 concert. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Madame Tussauds to open DC wax museum, still trying to find Al Gore’s head. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: College Republicans at CPAC fairly well behaved, did sneak a little alcohol in… CPAC DJ reveals pres candidates music choices… Mitt Romney dolphin dude was treated real nice by Romney staffers… Rudy was allowed to talk as long as he wanted, unlike everyone else at CPAC. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Bob Gates held his first Defense Sec press conference around a big table… Howard Dean and Mel Martinez to meet to make sure New Hampshire primaries are first… Bob Mueller starting an FBI book club. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Ron Burkle, Bono, Jay-Z, and Bill Clinton had the weirdest dinner ever at the Spotted Pig. [NYP]

* Rudy G. thinks strong early poll numbers mean he gets to play Ronald Reagan. [Captain's Quarters]
* Walnuts McCain deletes his MySpace page, wants to focus on meeting friends IRL. [techPresident]
* Carl “the contrarian” Levin just wants to invade Syria cause everyone else wants Iran. [QandO]
* Bono likes Obama — surprise fucking surprise. [Shenanigans]
* Turning an MS Office document into a .pdf can turn you from a broke cube-jockey to a baller. [Swampland]
* Do explosions in the night make Dick Cheney wet himself, or just wet? [Rude Pundit]
* Lieberman gets lucky, Politico gets sloppy. [Horse's Mouth]
* Drop fifty-grand on a cause as worthy as smearing John Kerry and all you get is a lousy ambassadorship to Belgium. [HuffPo]

North Dakota’s legislature proved that it was totally in favor of everyone in Africa dying of AIDS while owing rich people money by defeating a vote to honor Bono for his humanitarian work. The measure was sponsored by Rep. Scot Kelsh, who will always associate the The Unforgettable Fire with those days in college when he stayed up late talking with his friends about things that really mattered, man. MORE »

* Al Gore is planning a global warming concert/rally that will “dwarf Live Aid.” Hopefully, it won’t feature that dwarf from live aid, Bono. [FT]
* Next time Barry Hussein is dropping a deuce and thinking, “Gee, I wonder how I should run my Presidential campaign,” GQ will have him covered. [GQ]
* Donatella Versace thinks Hillary Clinton should wear more skirts and dresses. Donatella Versace also thinks a half ounce of yay is breakfast. [Suitably Flip]
* Wyoming plays the “I know you are, but what am I?” game with New Hampshire. [Election Central]
* John Edwards’ campaign bloggers were a hard target, new softer enemies include “subversive knitters.” [Michelle Malkin]
* Dennis Hastert ruined the free Air Force plane use for everybody. [Think Progress]
* Tonight’s book party for Terry McAuliffe is totally crashworthy, for the guest list and for the two-grand bottles of cognac. [Washington Whispers]

* Heard on the Hill: Mary Landrieu said: “I often think we would have been better off if the terrorists had blown up our levees. Maybe we’d have gotten more attention.” Also trashed Mississippi… House GOP Flacks arrive at weekly meeting to find Cannon Caucus room double-booked. They were forced to move chairs themselves. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Former State Sec George Shultz sports a suit pinstriped with his goddamn name. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Fun scene from Terry McAuliffe’s new book about his daughter playing “mermaid” in a pool with Hillary Clinton… Name expert on ‘08 contenders: Brownback “sounds like a good ‘ol Western boy,” “Mitt is a very ugly name,” “I love Vilsack because it’s foreign.” Karl Rove went to Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Norm Coleman shows up for a vote, forgets tie. This is apparently a violation of Senate rules. Someone brought him a tie, though, so we can’t kick him out. Also the MN Democratic party lied about him “blocking” the minimum wage bill… Bono kept a “low profile” when he was here last. Despite this we still have to hear about it. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: At last week’s National Review Institute’s Conservative Summit, you missed everyone passing around a doctored version of Rita Cosby’s business card with “For a good time, call…” printed on it… “Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., was spotted walking out the back door of that lobbyist mecca, Capital Grille.” [Politico]
* Page Six: JFK and Robert Stack will get you laid! [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Republicans hate Rudy. [NYDN]

Here’s a fun fact about irrelevant Irish pop star “Bono” and his whining about the new Democratic leadership: Harry Reid apparently threatened to have Bono chopped up and dumped in Lake Tahoe.

That’s the obvious conclusion after seeing how the Irish loudmouth backtracked and apologized for talking trash about Sour Harry:

A day later, Bono reconsidered his tough comments and took a softer tone in a follow-up. Bono said Friday that Reid “acknowledged a difficult situation” with the congressional budget “but he sincerely pledged his best efforts to improve the situation.”

Bono said Reid “made my day taking me onto the Senate floor and leading me through the history of that great room.”

A spokesman for Reid offered nothing more than the ice-cold lie that the senator “enjoyed his meeting with Bono.”

Is a picture worth a thousand U2 songs? Yes it is, as you’ll see after the jump.

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