Tag: boners

Why Do I Have An Erection When Speaking In Tongues? A Wonksplainer

A new series where Wonkette helps the internet find the answers it's really looking for!
Wanna discuss important Pentagon business?

Pentagon Workers Using YOUR Tax Dollars For Gamblin’ And F*ckin’

Would you be outraged to know that Pentagon employees (military AND civilian) have been using YOUR TAX DOLLARS GRRR for the services of cardsharks and common harlots? WELL THEY AREĀ (kinda sorta). GET MAD: A Defense Department audit has found that...

Christian College Kids Now Beaning Gay-Lovers With Fruit For Jesus, Are Too Lame, Always Miss

The evangelical Christians are fighting over the gays, everyone! Specifically, they are fighting at ultra-conservative Wheaton College in Illinois, where a simple nice chapel time turned into a fruit-tossing contest. NO THEY DID NOT THROW GAY PEOPLE AT EACH...

Pentagon Used Your Money To Give Dudes $84 Million In Boners Last Year

People of the wingnut variety are always yammering on about "outta control government spending!" and "I am being tyrannied into buying SLUT PILLS for all the ladies!" and dumb liberals always say, you know, if they were coming after...

Chuck Grassley Celebrates Steel By Showing Off His Erection Grime

Wow, there is a lot here. So it is "Steel Day" today in Iowa, according to Chuck Grassley, though there are no results for such an "event" on Google. If we are to believe Grassley, all Iowans know the...

Snowpocalypse Now

By the Comics CurmudgeonOH GOD YOU GUYS HAVE YOU LOOKED OUTSIDE LATELY! There is, like, so much snow! Frozen water! Falling out of the sky! And accumulating, on the ground! YOU GUYS! And...

Eric Cantor Gets Boner When Obama Talks To Him

Here's your Loyal Opposition, Republican Eric Cantor, just gushing when Obama sort of says, "What is up, Eric." So, GOP, blushing baby Cantor is your pick to go to WAR with Barack Obama? Jesus fucking christ, maybe next time...

Conservative Pundit Describes Boner He Got Watching Palin

There was nothing good about Sarah Palin's debate performance last night, at all. But! Some party hacks are pretending to like it, or say she won, because of how well she avoided saying anything of substance. The "buzz word"...