Wonkette

* Dick Cheney’s sleep disturbed by exploding bombs after a long day of playing grab-ass with South Asian dictators. [WP, NYT, NYT]
* Majority of Americans bored to respond to polls favor withdrawal from Iraq. [WP]
* Hillary Clinton is “caught” under-reporting her charity activities — whatever will she do? [WP]
* Steny Hoyer is a scrappy battler who hates Pelosi, loves his dog. [WP]
* John Murtha is not trying to “slow-bleed” the troops. In fact, he wants to make sure that “it’s the president who is bleeding.” [WSJ]
* State Governors refuse to shut-up about poor kids without healthcare. [NYT]
* In the search for more money, politicians inevitably find their way back to Cali, Cali. [LAT]

* Rupert Murdoch shoots lightning bolts from his various “news” outlets at Hillary, mumbles something about her paying for “lack of vision.” [Radar]
* Hillary betrayed by a pant suit. Hotline on Call]
* Rush Limbaugh’s favorite place to eat in DC is same as Treasury Department employees’ favorite place to score coke. [Media Matters]
* Christopher Dodd sends any old bullshit to the FEC, they’re just an “accounting thing” anyway. [Political Insider]
* FBI says any old bullshit to the media, they’re just an accountability thing anyway. [TPM Muckraker]
* Department of Homeland Security remembers to give SOTU the same security rating as the Super Bowl. [Suitably Flip]
* Military’s new bunker-buster bomb has a pretty sweet porno name. [Military & Aerospace Electronics]
* TPM Muckraker Justin Rood bolting for ABC’s The Blotter & Brian Ross’ pretend phone. [TPM]

• White House proposes that new, stricter sanctions on North Korea include weapons, Louis Vuitton Fall/Winter collection. [WP, NYT]

• “Axis of evil” still only 33% invaded. [WP]
• How the hell did they get that bomb anyway? [LAT]
• Papers publish polls. Probable voters pretty pissed at GOP. [WP, NYT, USAT]
• Democrats need to gain 15 seats to take control of the House, Republicans admit they plan to lose between 7 and 30. [WP]
• Hispanic population in US largely unregistered, those who do vote are open to pandering. [WSJ]
• South Korean Foreign Minister Ban Ki-moon to become new UN Secretary General. [NYT]
• Google buys YouTube for $1.65 billion, a price that was buoyed by the cute cat videos you uploaded last week. [NYT]

The Comics Curmudgeon has been guest blogging as one half of your Wonkette team all week, but he’s still been paying attention to Today’s Cartoons. He’s also a bit concerned about this whole airplane terrorism situation, mostly because his mother is flying into town tonight and he had to spend some time on the phone convincing her that al Qaeda had not declared a jihad against Southwest’s low low prices. He analyzes the cartoons of the moment, and stops talking about himself in the third person, after the jump.

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Liquid explosives — how can you make them work for you? Today’s prepared, cutting-edge terrorist knows how hard it’s gotten to get a shoe-bomb, box cutter, or snake on a plane. But now, with liquid explosives, anyone can plot the next Lockerbie. But which liquids do you use? Vinegar and baking soda? Coke and pop rocks? No. Baking soda and pop rocks are not liquids.

Thankfully, the mainstream media, who hate America even more than you, are at your service. Find out just how helpful they can be, after the jump.

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Six men and women wearing “ghoulish makeup” for a Zombie Dance Party were arrested in downtown Minneapolis on suspicion of toting “simulated weapons of mass destruction.” They wore backpacks with “wires sticking out, making it look like a bomb, while meandering and dancing to music.” MORE »