Toby Keith Is A Democrat?
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
Toby Keith, the terrible country music singer who has spent the last seven years laughing at Arabs for getting killed by American bombs (2002 lyric: “we lit up your world like the Fourth of July”), is inexplicably a Democrat who supports Obama. This makes no sense. Perhaps he is one of those “Peter Beinart Democrats” who saturated our magazines and newspapers in the years after 9/11 — you know, like “we want sweeping health care reform, but we also really like bombing the shit out of Arabs.” Joe Lieberman is the worst … Wait, what was the question? Oh yes: weird redneck Toby Keith is a Democrat for Obama. [AP]
Toby Keith, the terrible country music singer who has spent the last seven years laughing at Arabs for getting killed by American bombs (2002 lyric: “we lit up your world like the Fourth of July”), is inexplicably a Democrat who supports Obama. This makes no sense. Perhaps he is one of those “Peter Beinart Democrats” who saturated our magazines and newspapers in the years after 9/11 — you know, like “we want sweeping health care reform, but we also really like bombing the shit out of Arabs.” Joe Lieberman is the worst … Wait, what was the question? Oh yes: weird redneck Toby Keith is a Democrat for Obama. [AP]
Be warned: America’s class of neoconservatives have suddenly grown a POWERFUL NEW BONER. Russia and Georgia’s conflict 20 billion miles away has opened the door for the New Cold World War III, this time with SURROUND SOUND AND TEMPERATURE CONTROLLING CUP HOLDERS AND DIGITAL FIRE STEAMFUCK LIBERTY NUKES. Have no fear, because whenever a former Commie aggressor threatens God’s Democracy somewhere in the world, there’ll always be a Kagan somewhere just stone cold writin’ killer op-eds denouncing those fuckers. 
Because of the damn terrorists, hobos will now have to take off the roaster chickens they use as footwear before boarding planes. In the Chicago area last Friday, a “motorist” noticed a whole roaster chicken, presumably on the road, stuffed not with innards or stuffing or golden trinkets, but with an IED, to blow up America. The bomb was defused by Authorities, and it’s a damn good thing — apparently that was one of those “unfriendly” bombs that hurts people: “Police Capt. Matthew Catania would not describe the bomb, but said it was ‘capable of causing harm to a person.’” Do not eat Roaster Chickens, ever. [
Here is presidential candidate and glorified hobo Ralph Nader speaking at the first “Cluster Bomb Olympics” in D.C. yesterday, courtesy of Wonkette hobo-security operative “Nicholas.” The event celebrates the humanity of cluster bombs, which are like clusterfucks, in bomb form. While Obama 
Now that “Pennsylvania is the new Iowa,” and the Democratic party is dead-set on making everyone hate politics even more, John McCain is going to pretend to be a senator again! Has he already forgotten that he is running for president? Or maybe he thought he never left the Mexican Hanoi Hilton where he was tortured as a baby during the Spanish Civil War? All of these things are true, and this is why he now plans on taking a 10-day “congressional delegation” trip to socialist Europe and communist Middle East. 
One short day after George Bush made official his
Last week the TSA sent an advisory to law enforcement offices across the country warning them that recent suspicious activity could be part of a terrorist dry run. The incidents range from deadly duct tape-wrapped ice packs to bizarre pepperjack bombs like the one pictured above, confiscated from a Baltimore couple. 
Somebody 