bobby jindal
Bobby Jindal Explains: Racism Is Stupid Because Aren’t We All Christians Anyway?
Paleoconservative Peter Pan Bobby Jindal has written a thing about how racism is bad. Maybe you read it, because it was the top thing on Politico this morning, goddamn it, August, you suck. Probably some people read it because they’re like “Heck yes Bobby Jindal, racism IS bad and you are an inspiration to us [...]
Bobby Jindal’s Plan To Turn Louisiana Into Somalia Nearly Complete
We love a fun fact, so here are a few fun facts to start off your day! First, did you know that Louisiana (as aforementioned) is home to the highest infant mortality rate, the fifth-highest maternal mortality rate, the fourth-worst life expectancy rate, the fifth-highest violent crime rate, the second-highest poverty rate, and the fifth-highest obesity rate in the [...]
Sorry Louisiana Olds, Children, Poors And AIDS-Havers, Bobby Jindal Is Taking Your Medicaid
We have important breaking news for you Wonketeers: the first concentric ring of hell exists, and it is Louisiana. Is this a surprise, really? No, probably not: as aforementioned, it is home to the highest infant mortality rate, the fifth-highest maternal mortality rate, the fourth-worst life expectancy rate, the fifth-highest violent crime rate, the second-highest [...]
Bobby Jindal Here To Help Grandma Die Sad Painful Death, For Real, Hooray!
Well, at least it is not a post about guns, which is the only thing we can say about it without our head spinning around until it tears itself from our slender neck. News comes that by the end of the month, Louisiana will “save” all of $3 million by discontinuing hospice care for its [...]
Bobby Jindal Will Be Louisiana’s Reverse Robin Hood
You know what’s hard? Income taxes. How do we make them fair? Should there be refundable credits? Why do you get a credit for having a kid but not for, say, TOTALLY HOUSING a bottle of Johnny Black on your yacht? Progressive taxation “punishes success” by charging a higher rate to people who make more [...]
GOP Needs To Focus On Education, Says Man Whose State Textbooks Say Loch Ness Monster Is Real
Lousiana Gov. Bobby Jindal gave a speech yesterday outlining his version of what the GOP needs to do differently in order to be less like the GOP. Startlingly, there is a way to make fun of it. His prescription: Education! We need to fix education! Which sounds like a great idea, until you take into [...]
Oh Look Who Wants the Government’s Help Now (Hint: It Is Bobby Jindal)
Why HELLO Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-Hypocrisy), how is it going down there with that big storm barreling through your state and all? Battening down the hatches and whatnot? Letting the American People provide for themselves without suckling from the government’s teat, because of Liberty and all that? No, of course not! Bobby Jindal is UPSET [...]
Louisiana Thinks Funding School Run By ‘Apostle And Prophet’ Is Somehow Constitutional
Louisiana’s exciting experiment in public-school vouchers is steaming forward, providing parents and children with educational excellence and traditional values, hooray! But that’s not all! It’s also an excellent lesson in how the free market can improve education, by taking taxpayer funds from the wasteful public schools and handing it to efficient private schools run by [...]
GOP Convention’s ‘We Built It!’ Theme Night To Be Held In Arena That Government Built
In addition to summoning forth dread hurricanes to (probably) destroy any Florida seniors accidentally left standing in the wake of Paul Ryan’s spending cuts, this year’s GOP convention will bring to Tampa (and viewers whose remote controls are just out of reach) a terribly droll spin on President Obama’s recent musings re: whether or not [...]
Things You Can Learn In A Christian High School Textbook, For Real (Part I)
As we all know by now, Louisiana is experimenting with freeing their children from the tyranny of the Government Schools, and will soon, maybe, start spending public school funds on vouchers for kids to attend any private school their parents want (unless it’s an Islammy school, of course). And as we also all know, this [...]
Louisiana Charter School Shames Pregnant Girls to Teach Important Lesson About Values
Oh look, a Louisiana charter school has found a simple solution for combating teen pregnancy that also allows them to “maintain an environment where students will learn and exhibit acceptable character traits that govern language, gesture, physical actions and written words.” The solution is to force the girls to take classes at home if it [...]
The Devil Accuses Bobby Jindal Of Sinning In His Heart (And In His Hand) To Amy Grant
Behold this dramatization of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s account of the exorcism of a friend that he performed in college. This is just an excellent film, detailed and insightful about the spiritual warfare that aims to drive Lucifer from the bodies of our fellow humans.
Kathryn Jean Lopez Gets Thrill Up Her Leg For Romney’s ‘Vision Thing’
Apparently, there has been a turning point in Mitt Romney’s campaign—a GOOD turning point of some kind. We know this because Kathryn Jean Lopez has taken to the National Review to inform us of such, even if she can’t quite identify exactly why this was a turning point, or what it means, or how it [...]
Bobby Jindal And Scott Walker Will Break Law Like Gandhi To Save You From Oppression By Health Care
Who will be the greatest hero in the struggle against the tyranny that is having medical care like every other Western nation? Will it be Scott Walker? Will it be Bobby Jindal? Will they throw on tights and capes and be a dynamic duo for freedom? Duh, of course they will. “We’re not going to [...]
Louisiana GOP Does Not Believe The Children Are Our Future
Is Louisiana not part of the U.S. anymore, or something? Did some important event transpire wherein the other 49 states and the federal government all got together and decided to let Louisiana fend for itself? Because here are some Fun Facts about Louisiana: it is home to the highest infant mortality rate, the fifth-highest maternal mortality [...]
