Tag Archives: bobby jindal

  The new McCarthyism is just as gay as the Old McCarthyism

Good Christians To Smoke All The Homosexuals Out Of 2016 Candidates’ Hidey-Holes

This time we'll burn the GAY witches!
It’s very tough to be a “family values” conservative these days! The Republican Party, for many years now, has viewed its wingnut anti-gay base as A Great Big Useful Idiot, so they all have a contest to see who can pay them the most lip service about God Hates Fags, and then they elect people who totally BETRAY THEM by failing to ban gays from even existing. Ken Mehlman used to run the RNC, and then he magically turned into a homosexual and now fights for so-called gay “marriage.” Laura Bush thinks it’s okay for the homosexuals to get married too! And do not even get them STARTED on Cindy and Meghan McCain, those gay-lovin’ bitches. So a group of wingnuts that calls itself the American Renewal Project has decided to go full McCarthy, investigating all the 2016 candidates, as well as their families and staff members, to see what kinda homosexuals and gay-lovers they’re hiding: Read more on Good Christians To Smoke All The Homosexuals Out Of 2016 Candidates’ Hidey-Holes…
  Extra crazy Florida Man for president

You Won’t Be Laughing When God Makes Koran-Burning Preacherman President, Muslims!

For a minute there we were worried that next year’s presidential race would be impossibly dull, which would be Bad for Yr Wonkette. Sure, Rick Santorum and Carly Fiorina and Rand Paul and Ted Cruz and Ben Carson and Rick Perry and Marco Rubio and Bobby Jindal and whoever the fuck else has joined the Republican clown car this week are Good for Comedy, which is Good for Yr Wonkette, but we all know Jeb Bush will be anointed by His Daddy’s Rich Friends sooner or later, and he will speak Hispanic at us and then he will win and we’ll begin bombing something in the Middle East, which is a Bush family tradition, hooray! Read more on You Won’t Be Laughing When God Makes Koran-Burning Preacherman President, Muslims!…
  Yes please

Bobby Jindal Is BFFs With Some Duck Dynasty Guy, Let’s All Vote For Him Now

So much in common! They both have unnaturally painted faces, for starters
So much sexciting news in the wacky world of Republican presidential primaries! Ted Cruz is in, Rand Paul is in, and now Bobby Jindal … well, he’s still making up his mind about whether he’d like to one day be the question to a Jeopardy! also-ran answer, but at least he’s got a great idea for a running mate: that dude from Duck Dynasty. No, not daddy Phil Robertson, who only resists the temptation to cut off your penis because the Bible tells him so. One of the prodigal sons (there are so many, they are practically the Duggars). The Louisiana governor is talking about his bestie, Willie Robertson, “icon” and “hero of many”: Read more on Bobby Jindal Is BFFs With Some Duck Dynasty Guy, Let’s All Vote For Him Now…
  Revenge Of The Sea Level

FEMA To States: You Want Cash? Say Climate Change Is Real. SAY IT!

No Disaster Preparedness Funds for you!
In an elegant reply to politicians who aren’t scientists but don’t mind ignoring experts who are, the Federal Emergency Management Agency has come up with a simple solution: States whose governors decide there’s no need to plan for the consequences of a changing climate will no longer qualify for federal grants for emergency preparedness. For climate deniers like Louisiana’s Bobby Jindal, Florida’s Rick Scott, or Texas’s Greg Abbott, it’s a pretty clear opportunity for them to put their coastlines and their populations where their mouths are. Governors who refuse to consider climate in their states’ hazard mitigation plans could lose hundreds of millions of dollars in FEMA money. Read more on FEMA To States: You Want Cash? Say Climate Change Is Real. SAY IT!…
  lighten up francis

Traitor Republicans: Can’t Obama And Iran Take A Joke?

Hmm, yeah, still not funny
Oh, those Republicans, just jokin’ around all the time about how President Obama was born in Kenya (still fresh!) and reads his speeches from TelePrompters (that never gets old!) and is not going to be president forever, so Iran should not even bother negotiating its nuclear program with this particular lame duck White House. Read more on Traitor Republicans: Can’t Obama And Iran Take A Joke?…
  Twitter diplomacy

Wait Up, Fellas! Bobby Jindal Wants To Be A Traitorous Senator Too!

Official Senate Portrait
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Howdy Doody Jindal wants to be president one day. That’s never going to happen, but just in case it does, which it never will, he’s promising not to do a single thing in the second half of his second term, because a REAL president would know better than to act like he’s still the president and, like, get stuff done. Read more on Wait Up, Fellas! Bobby Jindal Wants To Be A Traitorous Senator Too!…
  That's not racial transendence

Bobby Jindal Can’t See Race, Not Even In The Mirror

Official Senate Portrait
So last week or so, there was a thing Wonkette was going to type about, concerning a certain “official portrait” of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, shown above, that, um, did not look like him, not even a little bit. I mean, judge for yourself, but that is not what Bobby Jindal’s face looks like, not even close, and SOME PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET pointed out that, PERHAPS, Bobby Jindal’s skin is quite a bit darker than that, because they are not racially transcendent. One headline asked, “Was Brown Paint Busy When They Created This Bobby Jindal Portrait?” But then everyone was made aware that it was NOT an “official portrait” at all, but just some thing one of his constituents made for him after school one day, so we didn’t write a thing about it. Read more on Bobby Jindal Can’t See Race, Not Even In The Mirror…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Chris Christie’s Half-Vaxed London Comments (Video)

Don't Talk about MI6, Mitt!
Rachel Maddow had far too much fun Monday recounting all the times American presidential candidates have made asses of themselves while visiting London. Actually, 80 percent of those times involved Mitt Romney’s single disastrous visit, but it sure set the template. Read more on Morning Maddow: Chris Christie’s Half-Vaxed London Comments (Video)…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Meet The Prophet Lady From Bobby Jindal’s Prayer-A-Palooza

Can you say for sure that Don't Ask Don't Tell *didn't* cause freak bird deaths in Arkansas?
Rachel Maddow Show led off Friday’s show with an unforgettable look at Cindy Jacobs, the self-proclaimed Texas prophet who God regularly warns about any number of tragedies — mass shootings, political coups, and so on — which she then prevents or at least reduces the severity of through the power of prayer. Wonkette readers may recall that Ms. Jacobs successfully headed off an assassination attempt against Ronald Reagan (it was just a different one from Hinkley’s), because her son had a tummyache. She was only the most flamboyant of several wingnutty faith healers and snake handlers (OK, not literally) headlining Bobby Jindal’s Great Big Prayer rally in Louisiana this weekend; the event was a pretty direct retread of a similar rally held by Rick Perry four years ago, and the early versions of its publicity materials even referred to “recent” events like Hurricane Katrina. Read more on Morning Maddow: Meet The Prophet Lady From Bobby Jindal’s Prayer-A-Palooza…
  my fellow kenyan impostor wussy dictators

Extra Extra! Get Your 2015 Barack Obama State Of The Union Liveblog Here!

There he goes murdering jobs and the oil industry again
It’s that time of year again: when your wussy liberal islamocommunofascist pals gather round the Wonkette hearth and trade googly-heart-eyes for “President” Barack (“Mom”) Obama. Will he announce Obamaphones for some and FEMA camps for the rest? Here’s fucking hoping. Read more on Extra Extra! Get Your 2015 Barack Obama State Of The Union Liveblog Here!…
  don't hurt yourself reaching for that outrage

Sexist Liberals Afraid Pig Farmer Joni Ernst Will Castrate Obama In SOTU Response

biased pic i'm sure
Bobby Jindal. Bob McDonnell. Paul Ryan. My Man Mitch. Thirsty Guy. CMR. Delivering the GOP’s State of the Union rebuttal can launch a starry-eyed Republican to anywhere on a scale of Hapless Presidential Ticket to federal prison. So who, pray tell, will be this year’s sacrificial pap purveyor who argues against middle-class tax cuts on behalf of the GOP? (Please say Joni Ernst. Please say Joni Ernst. Please say — ) Read more on Sexist Liberals Afraid Pig Farmer Joni Ernst Will Castrate Obama In SOTU Response…
  What The (Bleep!) Does Anyone Know?

2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’

Science: now officially optional!
We know that politicians actually started saying “I’m not a scientist” well before 2014 — Marco Rubio adopted it in 2012 when asked how old the earth was — but this was definitely the year it became Republicans’ go-to strategy for avoiding journalists’ questions about global warming and/or evolution. On matters of climate, it’s a fine supplement to the previous favorite dodge, “I believe the climate is always changing.” And what a fine year of not-science the Right has given us! Read more on 2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’…
  same as it ever was

Bobby Jindal Sorry God Had To Punish Gays With All Those Tornadoes

Which Bobby is he today?
Louisiana Gov. and would-be Republican presidential candidate Bobby Jindal is getting ready for a great big prayer rally in January, featuring a whole bunch of top-flight fundagelicals who also showed up at Rick Perry’s major Pray-a-Palooza in 2011. Among the Fun Dementalists attending will be anti-gay activist David Lane and Doug Stringer, who organized Rick Perry’s event a few years back. (Right Wing Watch points out that Mr. Stringer likes to call himself an “apostle” and once explained that God did 9/11 because America stopped believing in Him.) Read more on Bobby Jindal Sorry God Had To Punish Gays With All Those Tornadoes…
  How High's The water Mama?

Louisiana Accidentally Elects Republican Who Thinks Science Is Real

He looks serious.
Here is a surprise! It turns out that Garret Graves, the Republican who won Saturday’s election to fill the seat of Louisiana Congressman-and-now-Senator-elect Bill Cassidy, actually believes that science is real! He doesn’t deny global warming, and even helped develop plans for how Louisiana should deal with the effects of rising sea levels when he served as Gov. Bobby Jindal’s “coastal czar” — though maybe since czars are evil and bad, maybe he was more of a majordomo. He actually said that rising sea levels would be bad for Louisiana one time. Read more on Louisiana Accidentally Elects Republican Who Thinks Science Is Real…
  Go Get Your Bass

‘Republican Rainbow Coalition’ Is A Real Thing, Says Delusional Idiot

GET IT!?
O the joys of being a young conservative hack. You’re on a glide path to David Brooks’ seat on the New York Times op-ed board, and all you have to do is rewrite GOP press releases into #PoliticalHotTakes! Literally your only job is to make those talking points sound plausible, something the Daily Beast‘s Tim Mak didn’t manage to do with this puerile fantasy about the Republicans’ new “Rainbow Coalition.” Read more on ‘Republican Rainbow Coalition’ Is A Real Thing, Says Delusional Idiot…
  My Heart's Crackin' Like A Krakatoa

Hawaii Congresslady Skips Out On Election Night Duty Just To Save State From Volcano, Lame.

Ooooh, hot lava!
This could get in the way of her election-night party: Hawaii congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard, a Democrat running for reelection in the 2nd District, has been called up for duty in the Hawaii National Guard as it stands by to assist with possible evacuations from an area where the Kilauea volcano is eating up highways and farms and getting close to the outlaw town of Pahoa, on the eastern tip of the Big Island: Read more on Hawaii Congresslady Skips Out On Election Night Duty Just To Save State From Volcano, Lame….
  Two Days At The Values Voter Summit

Values Voters Throw Annual Pity Party, Decide Obama is THE WORST. Again.

The Values Voter Summit happens every fall at the Omni Shoreham Hotel, the premier venue for conservative conventions in Washington, DC. (For those of you keeping score, it goes Omni, Grand Hyatt, Mayflower. We do not attend conventions at sub-Mayflower hotels.) Read more on Values Voters Throw Annual Pity Party, Decide Obama is THE WORST. Again….
  well that's just like your opinion man

Creationist Bobby Jindal Doesn’t Understand Why Obama Hates Science So Much

Stand back! I'm going to try science! Or muffins!
In a bravura performance of the “I Know You Are but What Am I” suite today, Louisiana Gov. Bobby “Volcano Monitoring Is Dumb” Jindal attacked the Obama administration for being a big bunch of “science deniers” who don’t have the good sense to drill for oil everywhere and get all the oil and coal and burn it up quick quick for prosperity, and so we’re all going to die in the cold and the wolves will get us. We’re summarizing a little, there. Read more on Creationist Bobby Jindal Doesn’t Understand Why Obama Hates Science So Much…
  onward christian soldiers

Angry Bobby Jindal Is Your New Patton, Will Lead A Mighty Army Into Washington D.C.

This weekend was Ralph Reed’s “Faith and Freedom Coalition” pious ragefest, which we assume, as news trickles out, will be an almost endless source of material. Up first: walking talking permanent 5-o’clock shadow Bobby Jindal. Bobby is really working hard at going full right wing nutbar. Whether it is burnishing his Christian credentials to the point of stroking them off or telling Common Core that it needs to pack its things and move out, Jindal’s 2016 pandering is on point, yo. To the faithful freedom-y audience, Bobby Jindal really stepped up his game and pretty much stone cold called for people to march on Washington D.C., but not in a cool Martin Luther King Jr. way but more in a London Blitz circa 1940 sort of way. Read more on Angry Bobby Jindal Is Your New Patton, Will Lead A Mighty Army Into Washington D.C….
  it's not them it's him

Bobby Jindal Will Do Almost Anything To Break Up With Common Core

Writing about Common Core-related freakouts is becoming our bread and butter. Whether it’s Oklahoma homeschool moms freaking out about how the standards will be rammed down their throat even though standards don’t apply to homeschooled kids or Florida legislators being worried Common Core will make their kids gay, we can reliably be sure that if a conservative legislator or governor is fretting about Common Core, it will be hilarious nonsense. Today, Bobby Jindal is all about blocking his own Education Department from moving forward with the standards because of course he is. Read more on Bobby Jindal Will Do Almost Anything To Break Up With Common Core…
  apocalypse soonish

GOP Candidates For President In 2016 Already Getting A Jump On Looking Like Ignorant Mullet-Heads

Maybe the Republican National Committee should consider sending all its party’s presidential candidates on a round-the-world cruise for the next two years so they can’t spend that time saying stupid shit on television and turning off the American public. Take Marco Rubio. Over the weekend he senator from the great insane state of Florida gave an interview to Jonathan Karl for ABC’s This Week, where Our Man in Havana asserted that, scientists be damned, this global climate change thingy you hear about is a myth. I don’t agree with the notion that some are putting out there — including scientists — that somehow, there are actions we can take today that would actually have an impact on what’s happening in our climate. Our climate is always changing. And what they have chosen to do is take a handful of decades of research, and say that this is now evidence of a longer-term trend that’s directly and almost solely attributable to manmade activity. We’re pretty sure that a trend you can see over decades of research is still a trend, even if it’s only a tiny handful of decades. But what does Marco care, just because the largest city in his insane state is at risk of disappearing under rising seas? Science is just a theory anyway. Marco also said he is opposed to all the climate-change-mitigating laws that anyone might want to pass because they will do nothing but wreck our vibrant economy. This will be a great comfort to our descendants as they row across what was once the San Fernando Valley to put some waterlogged dollars in the collection plate at Marco Rubio’s Floating Palace of Jesus Magic. Read more on GOP Candidates For President In 2016 Already Getting A Jump On Looking Like Ignorant Mullet-Heads…
  Q: Are We Not Men? A: We are DEVO

Academic Freedom To Teach Bible As Science Upheld In Lucky Louisiana

Nice try, but no cigar, lovers of science in the Pelican State. For the fourth time since the Doublespeaky “Louisiana Science Education Act” (LSEA) was passed in 2008, an attempt to repeal the law has been shot down, by a 3-1 vote in the Senate Education Committee. This means that teachers in the Great State of Jindalia can continue to teach “critical thinking” by supplementing the state’s official science curriculum with additional materials of their choice, which (nudge-nudge) may “help students understand, analyze, critique, and review scientific theories in an objective manner.” In other words, they can “teach the controversy” and drag in materials that say evolution and climate change are just crazy ideas that shouldn’t be taken seriously. What a nice victory for academic freedom, which should always include the freedom to not teach facts. Read more on Academic Freedom To Teach Bible As Science Upheld In Lucky Louisiana…