Robert Novak returns to CNN tonight — he’ll be on the The Situation Room at 5:25 to discuss his new book, The Prince of Darkness: 50 Years of Pissing Everyone Off, and not discussing his getting shitcanned from that network after erratic behavior and his role in the Plamegate thing.

Last week, Liz Glover and Liz Gorman went to Bob Novak’s party for the release of his new book, I Am Evil, Yes, I Just Admitted It, Ha Ha Ha. Above is Glover’s video, here is Gorman’s gallery.

Bob Novak Book Party Gallery

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Bob Novak makes a lot less than people think he does! He’s worth a mere $7 to $8 million and made $625,000 from CNN. Just in case there was a chance you might enjoy your weekend. [Extreme Mortman]

It’s almost time once again for the Evans-Novak Political Forum! Twice each year, 70 lucky rich idiots get to pay for the privilege of being personally pandered to by famous politicians, live and in the flesh. The off-the-record get together has featured such notables as Dick Cheney, Al Gore, and even some non-vice presidents. Novak keeps the speaker list quiet but we can hazard a guess or two as to who won’t be speaking:

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Hate yourself and have $600 to spare? Have dinner with Bob Novak! MORE »

In a mildly funny open mic gaffe today, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice admitted to having a crush on Brit Hume and kindly old Mr. Smith down at the corner five-and-dime. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Lieberman’s new flack: hack-of-all-trades Marhsall “Bullshit Moose” Whittmann. Only problem: he’s a Republican and Senator WALNUTS McCain’s strongest supporter. And he’s one helluva media whore… The Starbucks on New Jersey and E has this “customer testimonial” from “Timothy H., congressional page:” “When I bought a case of Starbucks coffee, the text messages stopped coming” … Former Tom Daschle flack starts Pro-Obama website, emails everyone on Hill about it… Katherine Harris news: “She’s sitting at home plotting her future and secretly hoping (praying?) that Vern’s election is overturned so that she can run again in ‘08,” former Harris staffer says. Please, Jesus. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: The Youth of Today! Or, like a couple years ago: Gen X’ers in positions of mostly-ceremonial power! Rep. Adam Putnam, Aged 8! Some Rep.-elect named “Kirsten!” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Esther Coopersmith holds a Thanksgiving Party for diplomats. Some of us just went to Galaxy Hut and sang karaoke, but that sounds cool too… A fond look back at the US before Iraq: Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ topped the charts, America thrilled to Eugene Levy’s embarrassing white-guy-rapping gimmick in Bringing Down the House. Truly a more innocent time… Senator whose state loves her the most: Olympia Snowe… Bob Novak went to the Panthers game with a young lady, didn’t have a very good time. [Examiner]
* Page Six: NY AG-elect Andrew Cuomo hired Clinton FBI head/Whitewater obsessive Louis Freeh. [NYP]

It can’t be easy to outrage Tom DeLay’s staff. We have known some of The Hammer’s people, and they’re generally vindictive sleazebag thugs. They even stood out on the Hill. What would it take to make them all quit and stomp off to sulk at Starbucks?

Was Shelley Sekula-Gibbs giving forced abortions to white Christians while listening to Barbra Streisand? Nah. She just demanded that Bush and Cheney show up for her very special swearing in, which violates … sanity, or something. A Wonkette Operative sends the relevant chunk of Bob Novak’s upcoming column, which we’ve kindly hidden after the jump.

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It’s nice when Wonk’d has at least one “famous-for-famous” sighting, not that we don’t love our 3rd string journalists and local politicians. This week there’s Robin Williams, whose hair plugs and recent mediocrity don’t really affect the fact that he is still an actual movie star. Others spotted this week are Wonkette favorites Tucker Carlson and Tim Russert, as well as much-reviled though oft-seen Bob Novak . You get these and the best High School economics teacher ever, after the jump.

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Evil Bob Novak says Republicans aren’t pushing Hastert out of his extra-large speaker’s chair because “it’s really moot,” because the GOP has already given up and expects to lose the House.

“It’s really moot,” one of Hastert’s most severe Republican critics (who would not be identified) told me. “We are sure to lose the House, and Denny never would want to be minority leader.”

Well, good. Everybody can relax …. Except for one little thing: This makes no fucking sense.If Hastert doesn’t want to be minority leader and the House is lost to the Democrats, then he should obviously resign now to escape the shame of being minority leader when Congress meets again after the elections. But he won’t resign, and it’s causing all kinds of uncomfortable scenes at GOP fund-raising dinners because nobody wants to be photographed with or even near Jabba the Hastert. What to make of it? MORE »

New York, LA, New York, LA — no one gives a shit about DC until their tangentially-related-to-public-service movie has to premiere, then all of a sudden Cleveland Park is where it’s at. At least a solid Demi Moore sighting came out of the screening of The Guardian last week, but she’s not even in it. And while Demi is gone already, some people just never leave, as evidenced by the above photo of (the back of) Tom DeLay duck-walking down H St. Others that were Wonk’d this week: Marion Barry needs his ride pimped, Harriet Miers shops for pimp threads, and the prince of darkness is overheard on his cell phone asking, “Is Bob Novak gonna have to choke a bitch?” All these and your third favorite Ghostbuster, after the jump.

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