• GATES TO STAY AT DEFENSE: Politico hears from officials from both parties that Barack Obama asked Bob “Who?” Gates to stay on as Defense Secretary, and Gates has accepted. So there’s your Token Republican cabinet member! Now Barry’s free to name Susan Sarandon to head Veterans Affairs, or whatever he wants. As for Gates: he could be a horrible warlord for all we know, but the most important thing is that he’s not fussy, and that’s a rare trait in this egocentric town of whiny bitches. And Gates even broke Bush administration decorum by exhibiting flairs of nuanced thinking every now and then. He and Obama will be best friends. [Politico]

What the hell’s wrong with Bob Gates, the Defense Secretary no one ever talks about? Recently he’s been running his yap with all sorts of liberal Democrat treasonspeak — just like Barack Obama, a known member of Hamas and Hezbollah and the Weather Underground. Apparently he *doesn’t* want to bomb Iran or Syria, or even France! Not only that, he says it’s counterproductive to even consider bombing these countries that need to be bombed. MORE »

*ICE 9/11 STORM INJURES AMERICAN HERO:* “Defense Secretary Robert Gates fractured his right arm in a fall on an icy step at his home in Washington, D.C., and was treated Wednesday at Bethesda Naval Medical Center, the Pentagon said.” Too bad it wasn’t Donald Rumsfeld. Wait, who is Bob Gates? [AP/Yahoo]