Wonkette

Some mega-suburban evangelical church in Southern California will be the scene of the most epic political battle since Jesus took on the Romans: Saturday at 5 p.m. (8 p.m. Eastern), Obama and McCain will be locked in soundproof glass torture chambers while a goateed “powerful evangelical” hobbit will chillingly ask them questions about religions and whatnot. MORE »

First, plans were made for the Republican convention in St. Paul during the first week of September, at the Xcel Center, starring John “Oh him” McCain. Then, wacky freedom-fighter Ron Paul and his Campaign for Literacy anounced a Paultard rally, a weeklong thing that would also take place during the first week of September, but at the Pepsi Center in Minneapolis. Oh and there’s also a socialist May Day rally of some kind, which we only know about because hey, free Steve Earle concert. But also: dirty hippies and laborists. And today we learn Ralph “Malph” Nader is having his secret rally in Minneapolis, too. MORE »

Bob Barr looks like Reverend Jeremiah Wright and will probably cost John McCain the election, and for these two reasons alone Barack Obama makes love to Bob Barr’s voodoo doll in his hyperbaric Hope chamber every night. You see, 6% of Zogby poll respondents said they would vote for the Libertarian candidate for president, and this is the exact size of the margin Obama leads by. Score one for Liberty! MORE »

Proving that Obama’s 15-point lead in last week’s Newsweek poll was a liberal hoax, a hot new LA Times poll has Obama’s lead diminishing to a statistically insignificant 12 points, or 15 if you include fictional losers Bob Barr and Ralph Nader. Also, among voters who said they’d vote for McCain, only 45% are “enthusiastic” about doing that (Mexican vs. Muslim, pick your poison etc. etc.), while that figure is 81% for Obama. This just goes to show how screwed the Democrats will be come November. Sooner or later these Obamatards will realize that in the Real World, you don’t “like” politicians or presume they’ve got anything good to offer; you vote for the schlock you completely fucking hate, because why set yourself up for disappointment? [LA Times]

Just when you think nothing can top the antics of Paultards and Hilltardz, the Naderites of Elections Past are back to show you how it’s done. Despite being completely ignored by all media, Ralph Nader gets 6% of the vote in a new CNN poll. WTF? MORE »

Libertarian presidential candidate Bob Barr, a white landowning male, looks exactly like Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama’s black Muslim pastor. Why won’t Bob Barr denounce his unpatriotic phenotype? [Slate/Trailhead]

Here’s another reason for Hillary to drop out: Bob Barr, the one-time Republican congressman who started the impeachment of Bill Clinton, just announced he’s running as the Libertarian presidential candidate this year, against John McCain. With no actual Republican supporters, McCain is now scheduled to lose the nomination (to Ron Paul) during the Republican National Convention in Minnesota. Wait, what? MORE »

Former Republican Congressman Bob Barr, most famous for leading the impeachment proceedings against American legend Bill Clinton in the late 1990s, is very close to running for president! But not for Republican party president, so which president then? Why the Libertarian party president, of course! According to CNN, “Two sources familiar with Barr’s deliberations say it is their understanding he will make clear he is ready to seek the Libertarian nomination if there is evidence of significant support within the party.” Gravel/Barr ‘08! Paul/Paul ‘12! The Libertarian party is some real hot shit these days. [CNN]

* Nancy Pelosi’s womb is advancing the gay agenda, one disco-ball fetus at a time. [Shakespeare's Sister]
* Best laid espionage plans are always stolen from movies — Iran got invaded last night while Bush droned. [Intoxination]
* Attendance at DC peace march planned for later this month will benefit from increased anger with war, suffer from lack of Thievery Corporation. [Blondesense]
* Bob Ney blames corruption on that damn Wild Turkey; she’s a lover you can’t tame. [TPM Muckraker]
* Rush Limbaugh loves paying for pussy. [The Political Pit Bull]
* Bob Barr can’t get enough of the fromundah cheese. [Hit & Run]
* Everyone hates Jimmy Carter. [Little Green Footballs]

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. makes every member of his staff turn in their resignation, then wait to be rehired… Rep. Mike Pence wore a flashy new suit! He’s running for Minority Leader, so a second suit can’t hurt… Isaac Hayes was on The Hill lobbying for the recording industry. Also, he’s a Scientologist. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Redskins owner/obvious bastard Dan Snyder will be attending Tom Cruise’s cult wedding… More Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, still no details on just how “mean.” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: As a publicist has already made sure to alert us, Eva Longoria was in town. She told a few jokes at a luncheon or something… Jim McGreevey might be on Joan Rivers’ new show, the Gay View… Freshmen Senators are stuck in the basements of Dirksen and Hart, Bob Corker and Sherrod Brown forced to share copier. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: George Allen’s sister Jennifer wrote stories even dirtier than Jim Webb’s… Alan Keyes, Rep. Chip Pickering (R-Miss.) and former Rep. Bob Barr (R-Ga.). are all in Borat… Senators-elect Sherrod Brown and Amy Klobuchar are former students of Joe Lieberman at Yale… Rep. Allyson Schwartz (D-Pa.) reports: Congress is like High School! [The Hill]