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Posts Tagged ‘boats’

Dick Cheney’s Persian Gulf ‘Fishing Trip’ Will Launch Iran War

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

ChumWhile some people “stuck in the past” are protesting the Iraq War’s Fifth Birthday today, Dick Cheney is always thinking about the future — specifically, he’s thinking about how he can personally start a war with Iran. And he’s not just sitting in his Naval Observatory lair dreaming up horrible schemes. Dick Cheney is actually in the Persian Gulf right now, on some Sultan’s super-luxury yacht. You know, for a “fishing trip.” MORE »


‘Filipino Monkey’ Nearly Tricks America Into World War III

Monday, January 14th, 2008

It was so scary when little Iranian motorboats did loops around American warships in the Persian Gulf last week. The U.S. ships were apparently seconds away from blasting the tiny speedboats, all because of a threatening radio message assumed to be from the scary Iranians. Now the Navy says the scary transmission could have come from a well-known “radio prankster” called the Filipino Monkey. MORE »


Rudy Falls Victim to Boat Curse

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007

Politicians: they have bad luck on boats! Last Friday, Rudy Giuliani was happily riding a ferry of some kind in Michigan when he was set upon and attacked by a horde of vicious Ron Paul supporters demanding to know what he did with all the gold from the World Trade Centers and asking why he let Cheney do 9/11. According to a local GOP activist, the Paultards threatened to throw Rudy overboard. He eventually “took shelter in the ferry’s pilothouse for the 15-minute journey,” according to the Detroit Free Press. “It was awful,” says the activist, who has no sense of humor. But like we said a minute ago, boats are just bad news for politicians, as the New Yorker reveals in their October 1 issue. Examples include: MORE »


Hillary Clinton To Star In Lesbian TeeVee Show

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

'Ha ha, *I* went out with a man once, too!' - WonkettePopular lesbian Ellen DeGeneres will visit New York City to make a teevee show starring Senator Hillary Clinton, who has also visited New York. That’s the exciting news from the New York Daily News, which also reports that Ellen DeGeneres will make the teevee show in a room that used to be the “home for jazz” or something. MORE »


All Aboard the USS Dingbat!

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

 We talk about it all night long, We define our moral ground ... - WonketteDid you miss the vacation experience of a lifetime? You know, the National Review luxury cruise featuring leading neoconservative opinion writers who know the real story about why your daughter will be speaking Spanish while having her abortions under that burqa? Worry not, because UK journalist Johann Hari took the terrible trip and documented it for the New Republic.

MORE »


Ha Ha, Stupid Firemen …

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

Here’s some fun news from our neighbors in Virginia: A brand-new firefighting boat sank last night for no reason at all, tied up at the dock and never used once. We are pretty sure there is a bigger symbolic meaning to this stupid story. MORE »


And On Pipe Four, a Cat Stuck in a Tree

Monday, November 6th, 2006

pipelineboat.jpgCNN Pipeline, their exclusive online streaming video service, is FREE FREE FREE today! So you can watch live coverage from a stationary camera of a boat stuck in mud! Without paying a dime! MORE »