Tag: boats

Thank god somebody has some fresh thinking!

New Republican Congress Accomplishes Nothing, Goes On Vacation

Back in November, Idea Men John Boehner and Mitch McConnell conserva-splained at America how they would fix Congress now that they'd won the midterms. These Bold, Robust Ideas were intended to unite the party and carry forward the Will...
nautical times

Watch Jon Stewart’s Favorite Midterms Batsh*t Moments (Video)

Jon Stewart brings us more yummy electoral goodness, starting with a brief montage of precious election moments: Mitch McConnell's bizarre b-roll ad and subsequent #McConnelling, Charlie Crist's fan, Joni Ernst cutting nutz, and New York Republican Michael Grimm and...

James O’Keefe Tries To Get CNN Reporter Onto His Dildo Lube Boat

CNN is doing a documentary on the three or four people who are young American conservative activists, so they decided they would follow around that criminal James O'Keefe, the guy who made those ACORN videos and tried to rape...

Vermont Senate Candidate Approves of Drowning Children, To Make a Point

Len Britton is a Republican from Vermont running for U.S. Senate this election season -- and if there's one thing he loves, it's sitting idly by on picnic tables while a random adult male throws diseased salmonella pork water...

Oil May Stop Spewing Into Gulf By End Of Month, But Yeah, Probably Not

Remember that oil spill that was big news a few weeks back? No, probably not. But that is a thing that is still happening. Anyway, BP could have the Gulf oil well all fixed up by July 27, according...

San Francisco Bay Palestinetards Block Ship From Unloading Goods, Destroying State of Israel

Hundreds of protesters waved signs and flags and stuff at the Port of Oakland on Sunday because an Israeli cargo ship was coming in and this was the most important way they could protest Israel for some reason. Longshoremen...

WONKETTE, AMERICA'S MOST TRUSTED MARITIME NEWSWIRE, CONFIRMS REUTERS' STORY ABOUT THIS MORNING'S POTOMAC BOAT WAR. The details: two boats, one belonging to the Coast Guard, were involved in a terrible sea battle in which the Coast Guard boat fired...

Bill Richardson & Pals Smash Into Docked Boat, Flee

More wacky late-summer tales, just for you! This one involves New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, the one with the resume, and the corruption. His life has very little purpose right now. That's a good thing! The man deserves a...

Roughly Cylandrical Object Located Near Rehberg Boat Crash

While Rep. Denny Rehberg's life, which is in stable condition, will be first on the docket during tonight's Wonkette Prayer Hour, we must wonder -- given his history of getting trashed in Kazakhstan and falling off horses -- exactly...

Montana Congressman & Bros Crash Boat Into Massive Rocks (‘The Shore’)

There were injuries in this accident so we should not make jokes, but meh, they're in stable condition now: Rep. Denny Rehberg of Montana and his fun-lovin' buddies were cruisin' on their 22-foot motorboat last night and either crashed...

Rudy Falls Victim to Boat Curse

All Aboard the USS Dingbat!

Ha Ha, Stupid Firemen …