Tag: bo

Revenge Of The Night Of The Living Return Of The Obamacare-Killing Chainsaw Maniacs From Hell

And if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. You just can't *afford* your doctor anymore.

Michelle Obama Fills Your Stockings With Coal and Exercise

The Baby Jesus is almost here, which means that soon, Michelle Obama and some unwilling schoolchildren will probably be making plates of whole grain toast and carrots to leave out for Kris Kringle, the only fat man fully endorsed...

Children Disgusted By President Obama’s Poop Jokes

Answering questions Friday from youngsters at an elementary school, Obama described going for nighttime walks with first dog Bo on the White House South Lawn. He says that's fun. But, Obama says, "Sometimes I have to scoop up his...

Barack Obama Would Like To Know What Bon Jovi Thinks

Well, hello, Wonketteers! This will presumably be the last "Barry Can You Hear Me?" of whatever year it is, so I'd like to take a moment to thank all of you knuckle-draggers for straining your third-grade reading skills in...

Obamas Spend Holidays With College A Capella Groups, Worshipping Dog

Thanks to Jackie Kennedy being hott that one time she lived there, the White House is supposed to be a place of well-decorated holiday majesty at this time of year. But the Obamas are ruining it by hanging out...

Heathen Obama Lights Christmas Tree; Crowd Applauds Dog

Barack Obama said "Merry Christmas" THREE times last night, at the lighting of the National Christmas Tree (we only need one?). That seems like a lot for a Muslim atheist, but in reality, it proves he's morally weak. Not...

Crack Politico Investigative Reporters Discover ‘The Real Bo Obama’

Important news! According to Politico, Obama has a relative named "Bo Obama" who — no, wait, they're talking about that fucking dog. Never mind. This publication put two whole reporters to work tracking down that dog's trainer, because they...

Obama Masticates With Oprah, Oprah’s Friend Gayle

President Obama did celebrate his birthday last night after all! In fact, he flew to Chicago, took a helicopter that landed on SOLDIER FIELD, and went to a restaurant with teevee lady Oprah Winfrey and her long-time companion-friend Gayle...

Bo Obama Is Just Cold Humping the Snow

While you were being gnawed to death by Ice Rats, the White House socialist Bo Obama Kennedy was just fooling around in the snow. Next week he'll be on the cover of The Sports Illustrated with his snowy ass...

Wait, Is This Even Barack Hussein’s Water Dog?

Okay thanks a lot to Wonkette Operative "Phil" for sending this with the subject line, "OBAMA DOG SEX TAPE??!" This is the official Monday Night Open Thread, go nuts!

Work-at-Home Obama Just Goofing Off With His Kids All Day

While Republican dads dump their unwanted wives and unloved children at a vacation home somewhere and then fly to Argentina on the taxpayer's dime to tearfully commit adultery for years, Democratic wonder-dad Barack Obama continues to outrage the family-hating...

White House Beast Only Eats Tomatoes, Toys

Ted Kennedy's gift horse Texan Water Monster, "Bo Hussein Obama," now has his own crappy print-and-save "baseball card" from the White House, hooray for civil rights! Just, uh, print it out at work -- don't let Liz Becton catch...

Obama’s Warlock Wants To Name New White House Mongrel ‘Miss California’

Those who listen to the elitist Chicago street organizer public-radio program Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me got a special treat this weekend, as Barack Obama's personal Rasputin, David Axelrod, appeared on the show to describe how much this...

Biden Insults Obama’s Black Dog

If all the newspapers in America disappeared tomorrow -- instead of next year, as scheduled, because of Gmail -- you would never know about this story. Think about it.

ZOMBIE CUR TERRORIZES WHITE HOUSE: Oh yes speaking of Michelle Obama and her adorable talk with the cute childrens yesterday: "the president and his wife lie awake at night as they listen to the febrile skritching of a maniacal...

Cheer Up, America: Here Is Michelle Obama Talking To Kids About Bo, the White House Dog

Ergh, Thursday was filled with grim sorrow. Here is something "cute" to, uh, make up for it all. Because it's our fault, about the world being full of gloom and America being full of fail. At least we've got...