Wonkette

Yes, we know, you’re sick of reading about it. Well, we’re sick of writing about it! Hence this postscript to the whole saga of Stormie Janzen — the hot young Senate staffer whose sexy blog got shut down recently.

We’ve followed Stormiegate fairly closely, even obsessively, and now we’d like to close the loop on it. We wouldn’t want to leave you in suspense over the fate of the vivacious young blogress who gave rise to this pseudo-scandal (emphasis on “pseudo”).

To quote the Bard once again, “All’s well that ends well.” Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts offer this entertaining update in their Reliable Source column:

Stormie Janzen, 34, did not return calls yesterday. [Sen. Jeff Sessions's] spokesman Michael Brumas confirmed that Janzen still has a job: “We have dealt with this matter, and it’s closed.”

Oh, come on! Hasn’t anyone called offering a book contract? “I have no idea,” Brumas said wearily. “I doubt it.”

Okay. Has Playboy called? “Why are you asking me these questions?” he groaned.

Well, because we’re always on the lookout for the next Washington sex mini-scandal. Granted, Janzen’s page at MySpace.com isn’t going to get her there. Those who saw it say her writing was pretty PG-13, nothing nearly as spicy as the famous “Washingtonienne” diary that caused Jessica Cutler to lose her congressional staff job but gain a book contract. Then again, she does have a great name…

“If I can do it,” Cutler told us, “why not Stormie?”

Here’s our take on the whole matter: At the end of the day, what a government employee does in her private life is nobody’s business but her own. As long as Stormie is doing her job, and doing it well, the fact that she maintains a somewhat racy blog about her personal life — or, say, a whimsically irreverent, completely non-substantive blog about federal judges — has no bearing whatsoever on her employment.

Our polemic continues after the jump.

MORE »

Here at Wonkette, we don’t permit reader comments (yet). Some things, like the Washington Post’s recent unpleasantness with comments, make us less enthusiastic about the idea.

But sometimes we’re reminded of what we’re missing out on. Over at the AlabamaElections blog, which has also been covering Stormiegate, readers have been commenting up a storm. Here are some highlights:

Anonymous: this is no surprise at all. have any of you ever had dealings with [Senator Sessions's] staff? they are the most churlish, immature, pious, serf serving brats I have ever come across in government dealings.
Anonymous: I believe her First Amendment Rights were pressured, and she had to cave in to maintain her job. Personally, I would have quit working for Jeff. In fact, I wouldn’t work for him to begin with!

Additional vitriol and snark — all from anonymous commenters, of course — after the jump.

MORE »

Earlier today, to paraphrase Sisqo, we asked you to “let [us] see that thong.” We requested a screen capture of the infamous photograph showing Senate staffer Stormie Janzen’s bare-midriff-cum-thong. MORE »

Okay, fine, we’ll admit it. We believe that the whole Stormie Janzen blog controversy is a bit overblown. Indeed, our view is reflected in the title we’ve given to this post. (And yes, we briefly considered the triple-pun headline “Stormie Janzen: Temptress in a Teapot,” before rejecting it as way too “busy.”)

But the recognition that this is all “much ado about nothing” — as Stormie herself, a one-time Shakespeare scholar, might say — won’t prevent us from serving up yet another post about Sen. Jeff Sessions’s steamy staffer. It’s what you’re clearly clamoring for, and we aim to please!

For those of you who missed yesterday’s coverage, Stormie Janzen is a gorgeous, 34-year-old scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.). Until recently, Stormie Jansen [sic; intentional misspelling to capture Google traffic] maintained a bawdy blog on MySpace, where she raved about the sexiness of men in button-fly jeans and treated visitors to a tantalizing glimpse of her thong, a la Monica.

Unfortunately for Ms. Janzen, as well as all thong-loving members of MySpace, the powers-that-be in Senator Sessions’s office eventually got wind of her literary exploits. And when they did, they forced poor Stormie to change into a pair of granny panties — and to take down her blog. (But the chastened Janzen is keeping her job, as reported by Roll Call.)

So you’ll probably never get to see that ridiculously delicious photo of Stormie in her partially unbuttoned jeans (unless someone emails us a screen cap). But you’re still dying to know: “Who is Stormie Jansen? And how is she related to the Halle Berry character from X-Men?”

On the jump page, the results of Wonkette’s detailed investigation into those questions.

MORE »

This morning, via DomePunks, we learn the story of Stormie Janzen (porn name: Stormie Janzen). Until recently, the comely Ms. Janzen — a 34-year-old scheduler for Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) — maintained a racy, sexy blog on MySpace. Janzen’s blog featured midriff-baring photos of the curvaceous blogress, as well as paeans to men in button-fly jeans. MORE »

Forget about martinis with breakfast. Today we come to you from New York’s East Village, where it’s still last night for some of us. Thanks to some well-timed trips to the restrooms at Lit, it feels more like 2 in the afternoon. Well, we may be strung out, but we can still care about what’s happening in our nation’s capital, where the US Senate is poised to confirm Samuel Alito and undo 60 years’ worth of progress, as the Democrats — hell-bent on displacing the Whigs as the lamest party ever — stammer from the sidelines. Or in the rest of the world, where the smashing success of President Bush’s campaign to bring democracy to the Arab world is now obvious to all. We’ll keep you posted. MORE »

Well, that

While we wait for the new Wonkette starting line-up to hit the scene the folks in charge have decided to lower the bar for the next generation of sex jokes and local bar misspellings by tapping yours truly to hang around this week. MORE »

• Su Lin? Straight up OWNED. Butterstick? Currently keeping scientists busy recalibrating all known measures of cuteness. MORE »

Washington DC’s bid for a homicide-free year ends after four days of no murderdeathkills. That’s actually pretty good, comparatively. We’d predict a reduction of violent crime in DC for 2006, but wait until everyone hears about those taxi fare hikes. [ABC 7 News] MORE »

• Kathleen Parker recalls a high school book report and undergoes a severe mental paroxysm during which she realizes that if it weren’t for narcissists like her, bloggers would have piloted the planet into the sun by now. MORE »

Hey, who knew the “Terrified of Blogs” bandwagon had any space left to acommodate latecomers? Because somehow, Townhall.com’s Kathleen Parker was able to successfully elbow her way on this week to sound a clarion call of warning about bloggers, “enemies” she breathlessly deems less interesting than “al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden.”

Parker works very hard to be fair, allowing that “some bloggers do their own reporting”, “some bloggers offer superb commentary”, and that she isn’t trying to put down the “many brilliant people out there…who also happen to blog.” She says, “They know who they are,” and I naturally reply, “Why, thank you Kathleen! That’s nice of you to say.” She also offers some tidbits of wisdom that can’t be faulted: “People tend to abuse power when it is unearned and will bring down others to enhance themselves.” Well said, Kathleen — I bet Valerie Plame would agree!

Nevertheless, her tone shifts spasmodically hither and yon.

MORE »

• Trent Lott: “Bloggers claim I was their first pelt, and I believe that. I’ll never read a blog.” Awww, Trent! Don’t be that way! I bet Denny Hastert’ll give you shout out! Though it’ll look more like an inward mumble. [CSM, via Yahoo]
• Remember: the Twelve Days of Fitzmas continue until Efitzany (or until somebody has one). [Grammar.Police]
• And if you make your own mess, don’t blab to the press! [Thrown For A Loop]
• Guess who else was in court today? [WTOP, via Rock Creek Rambler]
• This year, Halloween in Virginia to less challenging, terrifying [NBC News]