Tag Archives: blingees

  pie slide or pie chair?

Carl Levin Hit By Muslin Pie

Sen. Carl Levin was holding a question-and-answer session in Big Rapids, Michigan today when an anti-war protester hit him with a pie. We’ve been scouring the Internet for a photo of this funny turning point in the history of American aggression, but the best we could come up with is this accurate Blingee re-enactment. Read more on Carl Levin Hit By Muslin Pie…
  sean connery would do the same thing

World Ending, Michelle Obama Rocks the Costa del Sol

What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks is going on? Your editor just returned from a frantic/miserable week of “summer vacation,” with nothing but occasional glances at the USA Today to remind him of this American Politics/Collapse thing — did you know America Loves Cake, and everyone is still unemployed, and the nation is melting? Read more on World Ending, Michelle Obama Rocks the Costa del Sol…
  if you seek a pleasant peninsula don't bother

Democracy Is Going To Die Tonight, But Your Wonkette Will Be There At the Deathbed To Hold Your Hand

Primary elections for both Democrats and Republicans tonight are said to be “crowded,” just like a hott nightclub, with lots of candidates to make us all sweaty. And luckily, your Wonkette will liveblog the whole affair so you can get all the Congressman Pete Hoekstra you can handle! Not to mention all the hott (Michigan Attorney General Mike) Cox! Both of those fellas are running to succeed term-limited Jennifer Granholm (seen at right with lightsaber) in America’s Worst Job, governor of Michigan. That should be an excellent race, and also gubernatorial and Senate contests are happening in Kansas and Missouri. Read more on Democracy Is Going To Die Tonight, But Your Wonkette Will Be There At the Deathbed To Hold Your Hand…
  we can die now

Sarah Palin’s Next Book Cover REVEALED

IMPORTANT NEWS: Yes, the cover of Sarah Palin’s next book has been revealed, and TeamSarah.org is positively agog. Asks “Tainler,” “Does anyone think this is another step towards a presidential run?” Yes, yes we do. How many American flags are there here? Three. 3+1(“#1 New York Times Bestseller”)=4. How many years is a presidential term? FOUR. There you go. “Great Cover. Why America and not American?” asks “Maggie in Indiana.” Because words with the letter “n” in them are racial slurs. Oh wait, we have to make a Blingee for this. Read more on Sarah Palin’s Next Book Cover REVEALED…
  good ol'-fashioned lynchings

Lindsey Graham Finally Hanged, Beaten In Effigy In South Carolina

Last week, a “nationally-known pro-life supporter from Washington, D.C.,” Randall Terry, came to Greenville, South Carolina and hanged and beat up effigies of Sen. Lindsey Graham. There is a precious photo gallery of this historical event of lolz, which may prove to be the turning point in our nation’s history. Photo One: Bystanders look on in utter glee. Photo Three: Lindsey’s head appears to be taped to a stuffed duck’s ass. Photo Four: Some delinquent hits the Lindsey pinata. Photo Six: Said delinquent looks evil and also dubious as abortion guy puts his arm around him. ET CETERA. Read more on Lindsey Graham Finally Hanged, Beaten In Effigy In South Carolina…
  profiles in banal unnecessary cowardice

Tom Vilsack Fires Shirley Sherrod As the Summer of Firings Over Nothing Continues

Yesteday, we linked to a dumb attempt by human poop-leech Andrew Breitbart to paint the NAACP as racist hypocrites. Wow, that certainly was silly! Everyone can see how silly that was! Oh no? Not everyone? Right, our modern political discourse requires us to treat baseless incendiary attacks by scumbags as serious while treating the actual things that matter as unimportant. SORRY, WE FORGOT. You know who treats the drivel Andrew Breitbart says seriously? Not nobody. Just the NAACP and USDA Secretary Tom Vilsack and also the Obama administration, the most powerful thing in the country. OH, THEM. Read more on Tom Vilsack Fires Shirley Sherrod As the Summer of Firings Over Nothing Continues…
  be careful justin

Lame Iowa Teabaggers Get Scared, Take Down Cool Hitler Billboard

Yesterday it was reported the North Iowa Tea Party pooled their Camel Cash together so they could let all of Mason City know that Obama is a socialist a la Hitler. But after all the libtard and British blogs posted pixx of this irrelevant thing in the middle of nowhere, the teabaggers called the billboard company, and it was taken down. Oh no! It seems the North Iowa Tea Party was naive, and now it is fearful. Those are the two things this sign says socialists prey on! Read more on Lame Iowa Teabaggers Get Scared, Take Down Cool Hitler Billboard…
  capitalism sheds a tear

Former Nixon CREEP And Baseball-Player Buyer George Steinbrenner Dies of Dick Cheney’s Disease

New York Yankees owner Geroge Steinbrenner keeled over and died of a heart attack this morning to the amusement of baseball fans everywhere. He was 80 in terms of human-years and is best remembered for breaking the hearts of children across the country for decades by taking their favorite players and giving them ridiculous amounts of money to become his clean-cut Yankee wage slaves. Now poltical outlets are required to tell you what this man had to do with politics. Oh, he illegally funneled money to Richard Nixon’s re-election campaign. And sometimes he gave other politicians money, legally, to make them his Yankees. Read more on Former Nixon CREEP And Baseball-Player Buyer George Steinbrenner Dies of Dick Cheney’s Disease…
  world historic events

BREAKING NEWS: Best Friends Obama and Medvedev Hang Out At The Max

After teasing you with a photo of Obama and a post about Medvedev’s Twitter account, it’s time we finally acknowledge the BIG POLITICS NEWS of the day: President Obama took Russian President Medvedev to Ray’s Hell Burger in Arlington for lunch. You of course remember the top political story of last year, Obama taking Biden to the same place. (Obama must have a punch card for a free burger from there or something). After the jump: HOTT DEETS on what kind of burgers they ordered. You simply must click through! Read more on BREAKING NEWS: Best Friends Obama and Medvedev Hang Out At The Max…
  the start of cougar season

Happy Memorial Day To Sarah Palin And The Troops! (Same Thing)

Hooray, it’s… an ugly Blingee! It depicts America’s Fence, keepin’ those perverts away from America’s Piper Palin, except for the ones that can moondance through the large, large gap. Happy Memorial Day weekend to the troops, as well as regular humans! Everyone walkin’ around the beach, stone drunk, no pants, no nothin’… (Also, your departing editor “Jim” will be working at Wonkette through next Wednesday, because why not?) Read more on Happy Memorial Day To Sarah Palin And The Troops! (Same Thing)…
  important cultural signifiers

A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!

Did you know that your precious Death Panel legislation includes a mandate to resurrect the corpse of Karl Marx thrice yearly, or else face a maximum penalty of one percent of your income plus ten minutes in a dark room with John Boehner? Look at the President chortling as he zaps Marx to life! He probably didn’t even wash his hands, just put on those rubber gloves and set to zappin’, just like a Democrat. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!…
  hooray now that thing is over

Sonia-Maria Sotomayor: First Mexican Buddhist In Supreme Court History!

The Senate voted YES PLZ for Sonia Sotomayor today, 68 to 31, and now abortion is legal all over again! Congratulations Miss Lady, “give ’em hell” out there, as a judge, of the Law. Meanwhile, nine Republicans voted for her, so they will be in trouble with Rush Limbaugh for some time. [NYT] Read more on Sonia-Maria Sotomayor: First Mexican Buddhist In Supreme Court History!…
  blingee contests

Your 2009 BlinGeeTwenty Sexytime Winners’ Costume Parade

Wonkette commenter Atheist Nun wins this massive Blingee contest with relative ease for the strong theme, the well-placed “masks,” and most importantly for recognizing that every single post by your editors on this website is, on some level, an allegory to the Cloud City scene in The Empire Strikes Back. Atheist Nun perhaps implies, “These monsters, we do not know their motives,” but probably not. Anyway your iPod is in the mail. Overnighted. (There is no iPod, that was a lie.) Let’s check out some other good ones after the jump, and then you losers can post links to your more loser-y ones in the comments. Read more on Your 2009 BlinGeeTwenty Sexytime Winners’ Costume Parade…
  if it walks and talks like a maoist

Liveblogging Nancy Pelosi And Joe Biden And Their Friend And Maybe Bobby Jindal

The best part of this speech (parts one, two, and three) was definitely when Obama started making jokes about Joe Biden, which is how he “deals” with Joe Biden. (“I have no idea who this insane Delaware hustler is, always following me around, ha ha!” etc.) Otherwise we’ve heard a lot about working on green technology, health care, and education, but very little about new Weaponry. How are we to go about the business of Warring? MORE ERIC CANTOR. Read more on Liveblogging Nancy Pelosi And Joe Biden And Their Friend And Maybe Bobby Jindal…