Tag Archives: blingees

  profiles in banal unnecessary cowardice

Tom Vilsack Fires Shirley Sherrod As the Summer of Firings Over Nothing Continues

Yesteday, we linked to a dumb attempt by human poop-leech Andrew Breitbart to paint the NAACP as racist hypocrites. Wow, that certainly was silly! Everyone can see how silly that was! Oh no? Not everyone? Right, our modern political discourse requires us to treat baseless incendiary attacks by scumbags as serious while treating the actual things that matter as unimportant. SORRY, WE FORGOT. You know who treats the drivel Andrew Breitbart says seriously? Not nobody. Just the NAACP and USDA Secretary Tom Vilsack and also the Obama administration, the most powerful thing in the country. OH, THEM. Read more on Tom Vilsack Fires Shirley Sherrod As the Summer of Firings Over Nothing Continues…
  be careful justin

Lame Iowa Teabaggers Get Scared, Take Down Cool Hitler Billboard

Yesterday it was reported the North Iowa Tea Party pooled their Camel Cash together so they could let all of Mason City know that Obama is a socialist a la Hitler. But after all the libtard and British blogs posted pixx of this irrelevant thing in the middle of nowhere, the teabaggers called the billboard company, and it was taken down. Oh no! It seems the North Iowa Tea Party was naive, and now it is fearful. Those are the two things this sign says socialists prey on! Read more on Lame Iowa Teabaggers Get Scared, Take Down Cool Hitler Billboard…
  capitalism sheds a tear

Former Nixon CREEP And Baseball-Player Buyer George Steinbrenner Dies of Dick Cheney’s Disease

New York Yankees owner Geroge Steinbrenner keeled over and died of a heart attack this morning to the amusement of baseball fans everywhere. He was 80 in terms of human-years and is best remembered for breaking the hearts of children across the country for decades by taking their favorite players and giving them ridiculous amounts of money to become his clean-cut Yankee wage slaves. Now poltical outlets are required to tell you what this man had to do with politics. Oh, he illegally funneled money to Richard Nixon’s re-election campaign. And sometimes he gave other politicians money, legally, to make them his Yankees. Read more on Former Nixon CREEP And Baseball-Player Buyer George Steinbrenner Dies of Dick Cheney’s Disease…
  world historic events

BREAKING NEWS: Best Friends Obama and Medvedev Hang Out At The Max

After teasing you with a photo of Obama and a post about Medvedev’s Twitter account, it’s time we finally acknowledge the BIG POLITICS NEWS of the day: President Obama took Russian President Medvedev to Ray’s Hell Burger in Arlington for lunch. You of course remember the top political story of last year, Obama taking Biden to the same place. (Obama must have a punch card for a free burger from there or something). After the jump: HOTT DEETS on what kind of burgers they ordered. You simply must click through! Read more on BREAKING NEWS: Best Friends Obama and Medvedev Hang Out At The Max…
  the start of cougar season

Happy Memorial Day To Sarah Palin And The Troops! (Same Thing)

Hooray, it’s… an ugly Blingee! It depicts America’s Fence, keepin’ those perverts away from America’s Piper Palin, except for the ones that can moondance through the large, large gap. Happy Memorial Day weekend to the troops, as well as regular humans! Everyone walkin’ around the beach, stone drunk, no pants, no nothin’… (Also, your departing editor “Jim” will be working at Wonkette through next Wednesday, because why not?) Read more on Happy Memorial Day To Sarah Palin And The Troops! (Same Thing)…
  important cultural signifiers

A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!

Did you know that your precious Death Panel legislation includes a mandate to resurrect the corpse of Karl Marx thrice yearly, or else face a maximum penalty of one percent of your income plus ten minutes in a dark room with John Boehner? Look at the President chortling as he zaps Marx to life! He probably didn’t even wash his hands, just put on those rubber gloves and set to zappin’, just like a Democrat. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!…
  hooray now that thing is over

Sonia-Maria Sotomayor: First Mexican Buddhist In Supreme Court History!

The Senate voted YES PLZ for Sonia Sotomayor today, 68 to 31, and now abortion is legal all over again! Congratulations Miss Lady, “give ’em hell” out there, as a judge, of the Law. Meanwhile, nine Republicans voted for her, so they will be in trouble with Rush Limbaugh for some time. [NYT] Read more on Sonia-Maria Sotomayor: First Mexican Buddhist In Supreme Court History!…
  blingee contests

Your 2009 BlinGeeTwenty Sexytime Winners’ Costume Parade

Wonkette commenter Atheist Nun wins this massive Blingee contest with relative ease for the strong theme, the well-placed “masks,” and most importantly for recognizing that every single post by your editors on this website is, on some level, an allegory to the Cloud City scene in The Empire Strikes Back. Atheist Nun perhaps implies, “These monsters, we do not know their motives,” but probably not. Anyway your iPod is in the mail. Overnighted. (There is no iPod, that was a lie.) Let’s check out some other good ones after the jump, and then you losers can post links to your more loser-y ones in the comments. Read more on Your 2009 BlinGeeTwenty Sexytime Winners’ Costume Parade…
  if it walks and talks like a maoist

Liveblogging Nancy Pelosi And Joe Biden And Their Friend And Maybe Bobby Jindal

The best part of this speech (parts one, two, and three) was definitely when Obama started making jokes about Joe Biden, which is how he “deals” with Joe Biden. (“I have no idea who this insane Delaware hustler is, always following me around, ha ha!” etc.) Otherwise we’ve heard a lot about working on green technology, health care, and education, but very little about new Weaponry. How are we to go about the business of Warring? MORE ERIC CANTOR. Read more on Liveblogging Nancy Pelosi And Joe Biden And Their Friend And Maybe Bobby Jindal…
  whoa check this out

Liveblogging the Actual Most Historical Thing Ever, Since the Moon Landing

It is actually a beautiful, sunny day in Washington D.C., in the freezing winter! The people are hopey, happy, etc. Allah really does want this Barack Obama character to become president, of Earth. Let us now continue the patriotic liveblogging of this Inauguration Day Inaugural Special, from Washington, where somehow another Bush is not becoming president today. Read more on Liveblogging the Actual Most Historical Thing Ever, Since the Moon Landing…
  mississippi race debate

Liveblogging Debate Night Pre-Show: What Do Dumb Anchors ‘Predict’?

That’s WALNUTS! after downing his fifteen nightly Ambien. What a nut. But, he showed up for tonight’s debate, and that’s more than he was planning on yesterday! So give him credit HE WAS IN THE WAR FOR CHRIST’S SAKE JESUS. Anyway: tonight’s debate is about race. No. Foreign policy… of race? we have four 40s for the night but still have some vague idea of what’s going on at the moment. Let’s watch, uh, MSNBC CNN or something, sure, and get drunker faster better before the “show” starts. We’ll be having a new liveblog every half-hour tonight. Read more on Liveblogging Debate Night Pre-Show: What Do Dumb Anchors ‘Predict’?…
  whoa hey

Your Wonkette Blingee Larry King Ahmad Dealy Contest Winners Hooray!

GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of some sort. Hans understood two things that do a good Blingee make: (1) layers upon layers of worthless crap and (2) the word “HOBBIT” lit on fire. So everyone congratulate Hans and his illegal migrant family! Five other finalists, after the jump. You will have many seizures. Read more on Your Wonkette Blingee Larry King Ahmad Dealy Contest Winners Hooray!…
  heroes never age

Happy Birthday, Barack Obama!

What the hell, it’s Barack Obama’s BIRFDAY today? He’s turning 25 years old and will celebrate by renting his first car. Above is his Wonkette Birthday Blingee Present. Don’t spend it all in one place etc. Oh, and by the way, our annoying gift is more considerate than the senior campaign staff’s gift, which is nothing, because they left it in a taxicab last night. [ABC News] Read more on Happy Birthday, Barack Obama!…