Tag: blingees

In Unfamiliar Role, Wonkette Scours Internet for Good News

Yr Wonkette, just like everybody else, still stuck in one of the first four stages of the five stages of grief. ("Acceptance" is not on the table. Not now, not ever). In order to get through the day, we've...

Iowa Weather Advisory: Beware Rising Wave of Santorum

Uh-oh, guys, get your haz-mat suits out from the bottom of the survival kit: we are noticing a rapidly growing flood of "Santorum surging" stories out there right now, GAH. Rick Santorum has shot into third place in Iowa...

Hooray, Fraud Everywhere Envelops Looming Wisconsin Recall Elections!

Wisconsin's critical elections to recall six Republican legislators and regain control of the state senate take place next week on August 9, which means it is time for the privately-funded organisms of Terror and Death to hurl into action...

Wingnuts Just Love This ‘American Dream’ Facebook Photo Contest Thing

The American Chamber of Commerce is running a photo contest on Facebook asking people to "submit a photo of the American Dream as it is embodied by your small business or a business in your community." HUUNNHHH? Apparently this...

Wasilla Soldier Who Murdered Afghans For Fun Also Posed With Their Heads

Another proud product of Wasilla, Alaska, Army Specialist Jeremy Morlock has plead guilty to three counts of murder for killing Afghan civilians to pass the time when he wasn't killing the other kind of Afghans. But that's not all!...

Elton John Pleads Not Guilty To Arizona Shooting Deaths

Jared Loughner pleaded not guilty today in federal court in Phoenix. Sure thing! Good luck with that! But according to courtroom illustrations, it wasn't Loughner who entered the plea, but someone who appeared to be beloved recording artist/dear friend...

Tom Coburn Slashes 9/11-Cancer Relief, Suddenly Has Evil Goatee

Just weeks after Joe Miller's stunning midterm loss, facial hair has finally returned to the Senate, as Tom Coburn has, heroically, suddenly grown the goatee ("Van Dyke") of Santa Claus' evil twin or whatever. And, powered by a churning...

Invisible Space Monsters Made of Arsenic Will Kill Us, NASA Announces

NASA finally made their big announcement about alien life this afternoon: They were looking around some mud somewhere and found a microorganism that is made of arsenic instead of the usual stuff of which every other living thing on...

Obama Performs Obligatory Turkey Pardon For America’s Grandmas

SURPRISE, Obama did the dumb turkey pardon thing today. So now those two fowls will live out their days in uninterrupted luxury in Gitmo. Administration Cute Czar Sasha and Cuter Czar Malia were on hand because this sort of...

Here Is Your Photo of TSA Fisting a Guy

So this fun news photo was being passed around today! It has now been enshrined in Blingee form, thanks to us, and will soon be put into the National Archives. One day we will look back on this Blingee...

AFA: Medal of Honor Only Awarded For Being Gay In the Line of Duty Now

Yesterday, President Obama awarded the Medal of Honor to Army Staff Sgt. Sal Giunta for putting himself in the line of fire to save two comrades during an ambush in Afghanistan in October 2007. But however much courage it...

Nation Celebrates Columbus Day Eve By Throwing Book, Showing Its Dick

Everyone decided it was Do Shit to Obama Day when the president had a rally in Philadelphia yesterday. Some unknown person threw a paperback book at him, for one, though apparently the president didn't notice, so our antsy nation...

Rand Paul, Jack Conway Meet At Kentucky Urinal

The great thing about this country is its diverse character. Some states have their Senate candidates debate at podiums. Others have them debate at urinals.

Wonkette’s Liz Glover & Lady Gaga Had a Yoga Thing

Hahahaha, here's the complete text of a secret email from Famous Wonkette videographer of record Liz Glover: "Say of it what you will. I trust your judgment." Wait, is that a good idea, Liz? Especially when international video-singer sensation...

RedState’s Lonely Photoshop Contest

With nothing else to talk about today, despite the fact that Sharia is slowly being added to law books all over the country, RedState decided they were gonna have themselves a good ol' Photoshoppin' contest with a photo of...

Shirley Sherrod Displays Best Body Language Ever In Vilsack Press Conference

Oh look, our pal Shirley finally ended her well-deserved weeks of R&R to hold a press conference with Ag Secretary Tom Vilsack-of-poop about him groveling to get her to come back to the USDA. She decided not to take...