December 12, 2013
Happy Birthday wishes to beloved Wonkette Content Generator Victoria Jackson! She continues to fight the weird fight, even though she daily risks being forced by the UN to ride a bike or getting edited by Fox News into even greater incoherence. After the jump, some birthday highlights!
You might think Peggy Noonan has so thoroughly self-discredited by now that her only remaining role in public discourse is to memorialize the simpleton biases and transparent lie-gospels of the anachronistic, bubble-dwelling conservative “elites” who are the Wall Street Journal’s core readership. You know, like she does in this, her latest lazy, hazy word-thing in [...]
Good morning, straight people. We want to talk to you about that weird feeling you’ve been having for about a week — that one where your marriage feels like it’s… worth less. You may be wondering why you feel that way. We happen to know. It’s because Yr Wonket performed a gay marriage in the [...]
Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican [...]
What are the Christian wingnut conservative Republicans doing about 2012 now? Uniting behind Santorum, of course! Because when you’re stuck with a slate of candidates including a liberal billionaire foreigner who loves the wrong Jesus and a repulsive kidney-shaped punching bag who is so venal and amoral he makes Bill Clinton look like a family [...]
Now that he’s just eight paid Romney supporters away from being the most popular Republican presidential candidate in all the land, Rick Santorum is getting a “second look” from many who had mostly forgotten about the Pennsylvania oddball back when he lost his Senate seat by 17 points, to a Democrat, in Pennsylvania. But Rick [...]
Dr. Ron Paul’s portion of the Internet is goin’ nutz over the rumored grab-ass Rick Perry was trying to strong-arm Doctor Congressman Paul with, during the Reagan Gravesite Debate. Why is Rick Perry such a violent psychopath? Does he just hate freedom so much that he went over and tried to beat up a whiny [...]
We cannot read through all 1,004 comments from last night’s debate liveblogging — this is why comments are robotically moderated, and why we depend upon you to alert us to spammers ‘n lamers who must be banned — but a cursory glance last night revealed that nobody matched the goblins in our Republican Debate Blingee [...]
2012 Fever is on the rise in Iowa, where hollow-eyed pillhead Michele Bachmann easily took the footlong patriotic corndog of freedom and also won the Iowa “Ames Straw Poll.” This is great news for America’s Comedy Industry, and sad news for any liberals who hoped Barack Obama might have to move a little to the [...]
Hahahaha, here’s the complete text of a secret email from Famous Wonkette videographer of record Liz Glover: “Say of it what you will. I trust your judgment.” Wait, is that a good idea, Liz? Especially when international video-singer sensation “Lady Gaga” was sweatin’ to the oldies in your Capitol Hill Yoga Studio? Right after her [...]
With nothing else to talk about today, despite the fact that Sharia is slowly being added to law books all over the country, RedState decided they were gonna have themselves a good ol’ Photoshoppin’ contest with a photo of the newly made-over Oval Office. But three hours later, why has no one entered yet? “Da [...]
What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks is going on? Your editor just returned from a frantic/miserable week of “summer vacation,” with nothing but occasional glances at the USA Today to remind him of this American Politics/Collapse thing — did you know America Loves Cake, and everyone is still unemployed, and the nation is melting?
What did the evil Emperor of Rape Joseph Ratzinger get for his birthday? An eternity roasting in Hell, plus a cake! We figured we ought get him something, too.
Oh look, it’s the “I’m Just a Bill” guy decked out like an Acorn Pimp, as he entices youngsters into smoking because why not, now that Obamacare has forever removed absolutely all incentive for us to stay healthy! This Blingee provides extra bonus seizures, which are now mandatory for all Americans over the age of [...]
So uh apparently Rush Limbaugh was a judge for the latest Miss America competition? And they played some song by Lady Gaga, and Rush stood up and danced? And this was very important, politically. (Gross.) [Politico via Alan Colmes' Liberaland]