blingee
Mexico-Bashing Gay Arizona Sheriff Shares Tips On Forbidden Love
Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican [...]
Wingnuts ‘Uniting Behind Santorum,’ Obviously
What are the Christian wingnut conservative Republicans doing about 2012 now? Uniting behind Santorum, of course! Because when you’re stuck with a slate of candidates including a liberal billionaire foreigner who loves the wrong Jesus and a repulsive kidney-shaped punching bag who is so venal and amoral he makes Bill Clinton look like a family [...]
Sexy Rick Santorum’s Top 10 Sex Tricks To Drive God Wild In Bed
Now that he’s just eight paid Romney supporters away from being the most popular Republican presidential candidate in all the land, Rick Santorum is getting a “second look” from many who had mostly forgotten about the Pennsylvania oddball back when he lost his Senate seat by 17 points, to a Democrat, in Pennsylvania. But Rick [...]
Did Rick Perry Try To Rough-Sex Ron Paul At GOP Debate?
Dr. Ron Paul’s portion of the Internet is goin’ nutz over the rumored grab-ass Rick Perry was trying to strong-arm Doctor Congressman Paul with, during the Reagan Gravesite Debate. Why is Rick Perry such a violent psychopath? Does he just hate freedom so much that he went over and tried to beat up a whiny [...]
Can You Identify the Candidate Goblins In Our GOP Debate Blingee?
We cannot read through all 1,004 comments from last night’s debate liveblogging — this is why comments are robotically moderated, and why we depend upon you to alert us to spammers ‘n lamers who must be banned — but a cursory glance last night revealed that nobody matched the goblins in our Republican Debate Blingee [...]
Michele Bachmann Sucks a Footlong, Is President of Iowa
2012 Fever is on the rise in Iowa, where hollow-eyed pillhead Michele Bachmann easily took the footlong patriotic corndog of freedom and also won the Iowa “Ames Straw Poll.” This is great news for America’s Comedy Industry, and sad news for any liberals who hoped Barack Obama might have to move a little to the [...]
Wonkette’s Liz Glover & Lady Gaga Had a Yoga Thing
Hahahaha, here’s the complete text of a secret email from Famous Wonkette videographer of record Liz Glover: “Say of it what you will. I trust your judgment.” Wait, is that a good idea, Liz? Especially when international video-singer sensation “Lady Gaga” was sweatin’ to the oldies in your Capitol Hill Yoga Studio? Right after her [...]
World Ending, Michelle Obama Rocks the Costa del Sol
What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks is going on? Your editor just returned from a frantic/miserable week of “summer vacation,” with nothing but occasional glances at the USA Today to remind him of this American Politics/Collapse thing — did you know America Loves Cake, and everyone is still unemployed, and the nation is melting?
Happy Millionth Birthday, Pope Nazi Pedobear!
What did the evil Emperor of Rape Joseph Ratzinger get for his birthday? An eternity roasting in Hell, plus a cake! We figured we ought get him something, too.
Joe Biden’s Favorite Blingee
Oh look, it’s the “I’m Just a Bill” guy decked out like an Acorn Pimp, as he entices youngsters into smoking because why not, now that Obamacare has forever removed absolutely all incentive for us to stay healthy! This Blingee provides extra bonus seizures, which are now mandatory for all Americans over the age of [...]
Rush Limbaugh Slithers To Popular Tune At Miss America Prelims!
So uh apparently Rush Limbaugh was a judge for the latest Miss America competition? And they played some song by Lady Gaga, and Rush stood up and danced? And this was very important, politically. (Gross.) [Politico via Alan Colmes' Liberaland]
Scott Brown, Cover Up Those Daughters!
Listen, Senator Scott, unless you want your senatorial daughters to end up like old what’s-his-name’s nutty daughter with the boobs and the retractable regrettable Twittering, it’s time to cover up those gals and live like a real Republican.
A Decade of Blingees: 2007-2009
Ken Layne: Hello former colleague, may I briefly interview you in Real Time about the most significant political development of the decade, the Blingee? Alex Pareene: YES of course. KL: Hooray! Okay now I will make up these questions. Umm … let’s see, you first discovered the Blingee, is that right?
There Is Only One Thing To Do With This Sarah Palin Book Cover…
BLINGEE CONTEST. Send your entry (link or attachment) to tips@wonkette.com by 3:30 this afternoon with the subject line, “LOOK AT THIS TANGLE OF THORNS.” Winner gets an “iPhone.” Well? MUSH, MUSH. [Washington Independent]
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