Wonkette

Ah, the video that started it all. But today it’s defeat, and not a blimp, that’s in the air. The Paultard Blimp has been returned after making its last “go” of things in Florida, which mostly resulted in elderly car accidents. From Ron Paul Blimp’s website: “Current Blimp status: The blimp is headed back home to it’s hangar in Elizabeth City, NC. The blimp did not receive enough sponsorships to keep it afloat any longer.” Hey now, that’s not the Paultard spirit we know! Is defeat a word, or a Mainstream Media “spin” tactic? That blimp will be in the air in no time! MORE »

*HEY, YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GETTING INTO:* It’s the one day every four years that Floridians vote in primaries, and by tradition this means that voters are reporting “technical glitches” with voting machines. We hear that one of these complainers, that was actually not a human but a famous blimp, said that when it tried to vote for Ron Paul, the machine’s robotic Fascist-arms stuffed it in a black burlap sack and threw it to the bottom of Lake Okeechobee. [Orlando Sentinel]

MAGICAL BLIMP: The beloved Ron Paul Blimp is $26,000 short of its latest fundraising goal with just two-and-a-half hours left of January 18 (today). Will it survive? How will Ron Paul become president of freedom without the Blimp of Freedom? [RonPaulBlimp]

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Out of nowhere, at approximately 12:15, the video feed for the Paultard Blimp on Justin TV started working, and some Paultard appeared! And then disappeared! Either way, it’s now time to embed this feed, which will hopefully bring us merry tidings of hilarity throughout the day. [Justin TV]

The Paultards are freaking, and it’s not just because of the big spambot disclosure. The Paultard Blimp is supposed to fly Monday, Dec. 10 from Elizabeth City, NC, en route to an eventual “Tea Party” in Boston to coincide with their latest moneybomb on Dec. 16. They need, however, $200,000 in real money — pledges, Liberty Dollars or Ameros won’t cut it now — by midnight on Friday in order to make the rental. Plus, there are all sorts legal entanglements and whatnot. For all of these reasons, Paultards are going mad mad MAD(DER than usual), and we’d like to document as much of it as possible.

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According to the official Paultard Blimp website, as of 10:42 this morning the blimp cause has drawn pledges totaling $474,175. It’s shocking enough that anyone would donate, say, more than zero dollars to start with, but the current sum is way above the $350,000 goal. It’s such a gross amount that the project’s leader is soliciting resumes for a paid position as “Blimp Treasurer.” You can apply right here.

Nick Farr, your Commenter General presence is required: Infiltrate the application process, earn the position and steal the 474,175 Liberty Dollars! Chop chop, soldier. [Ron Paul Blimp]

So now they want a fucking blimp. Who knows which Paultard — perhaps Pink Taco John? — came up with this gem of a pyramid scheme, but like all the other ones, it’s raising disgusting amounts of Liberty Dollars. MORE »