Blake Gottesman, the former personal aide and hand-sanitizer pimp to President Bush, got into Harvard Business School even though he never graduated from college. And now he will divulge his “leadership secrets” at a super-exclusive, by-lottery-only “Brown Bag” luncheon for students at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government on April 2! (We are not sure what these Brown Bag affairs are, but we are pretty sure it will come up in the Matos-McGreevey divorce proceedings.) Our double-secret undercover operative informs us that “a grand total of two ‘lottery’ slots have been claimed.” Hurry up and claim your spot, K-Skool losers! You have till midnight tomorrow. [John F. Kennedy School of Government]

How Many White House Staffers Do You Out-Earn? The answer may surprise you! MORE »

The guy’s already been the subject of plenty of ink (how many profiles do we need before the press realizes we have a pretty good idea of the importance of Purell to our germaphobe President?), but Time delivers what might be the quintessential “this kid’s going places” story about Presidential personal aide Blake Gottesman. Gottesman, a 26-year-old college dropout, is described as being of one mind with the President, which should be a surprise to absolutely no one. We almost feel bad for the guy, considering that he’s had about 12 pieces written about his proficiency with hand-sanitizer and long-ended relationship with Jenna, but then we recall that his job’s hardest responsibilities include deciding which tchotchkes to save for future library inclusion and remembering which Eddie Bauer catalogs the President hasn’t seen yet. And he makes more than us. Oh, and the Harvard thing. Little bastard. MORE »

* Names & Faces: Bono says he feels “exploited” by the use of his photo in campaign literature for Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi. [WP]
* Washington Whispers: Playboy and Penthouse are banned from State Department newsstands at the request of Condoleezza Rice. . . Josh Bolten recently cut work to watch a few Washington Nationals games. . . Fidel Castro could die within the next few years, American officials contend. . . Frank Luntz has a favorable view of Mark Warner. . . Rep. Nancy Pelosi misses the chocolate she gave up for lent. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Site indicates Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ) may have kept a “love nest” with his former chief of staff. . . Jenna once woke Bush up and made him call her then-boyfriend Blake Gottesman after they fought. [NYP]
* Lloyd Groves’s Lowdown: Gore blames Bush for failures surrounding Katrina and 9/11 in the “green issue” of Vanity Fair. [NYDN]
* The Scoop: Susan Sarandon wants national elections to be monitored by a third party: “The last one was an embarrassment. Everybody knew there was fraud, but nothing was done about it.” [MSNBC]